Wasn't picking a fight, but telling developing teens to grow a thicker skin is bullshit. Teen personalities are still flexible and in development. Some are more sensitive than others. Telling them to man up is just additional fuel to the suicide or psychotic break fire. Seeing as you aree still in school, your personality is *also* still in development and you will probably look back on this, if you remember it in 20 years, and go "God, I was a fuxking tool." As adults, we learn (well most of us do) that being the toughguy and acting tough and abusive to our peers when we were younger was us being asswipes and fucktards. Some of us even go find our classmates from then and make amends. I've become good friends with both those I marginalized and those who bullied me when I was in high school.

And I don't know all the problems of school today, but psychology hasn't changed much in the last 25 years since I studied it as a minor in college.

"As adults, we learn (well most of us do) that being the toughguy and acting tough and abusive to our peers when we were younger was us being asswipes and fucktards."

There's a difference between being a bully and having thick skin.

just keep living in your own little world gunfighter, where the presence of guns bring down crime, where fighting automatically stops bullies, and where I'm assuming erectile dysfunction can be cured by smoking Marlboros.

excuse me "effective fighting" stops bullies what ever the fuck that means. I'm assuming I had to kill the kid in order to stop him. Ever thought that some kids just like to fight and carry on no matter if they get punched in the nose or not? Of course if you obide by folksy cliche's that a bully is really just a big baby trying to intimidate perhaps "effective(?)" fighting is the fail safe answer, but what about the kids who are angry and just want to pound on people and be pounded? If you don't know that these people exist you obviously have lead a very sheltered life and probably never watched spike TV

@Gunfighter - The poster was suggesting the recipients of the abuse get thicker skinned. Ibwas pointing out that he doesn't have a clue to the reality of the psychology of the developing teen mind. Of course thicker skin does not make one a bully. But not having empathy for your more fragile classmates does make one a fucktard asswipez even if one doesn't yet realize it.

I never said being abused makes one thicker skinned, nor did I imply I don't have empathy for those who have been bullied.
All I said was that in MY high school I never witnessed anyone being bullied, and that although I'm sure it happens in some schools, KILLING yourself is not the right way to deal with being bullied if you are unfortunate enough to be the victim of it.
I mean, seriously, if you're being bullied there are a lot of better options out there than ending your life.

@Scuba - The point is that the psyche of many teens is still in development and the hormones running through their body make them more prone to rash decisions like suicide. So sure, there are a lot better options. But a hormonally imbalanced teen who gets upset doesn't see that.

I'm 45 and have seen 3 suicides within my "social group". One was a 45 year old woman (a good friend) about 4 years ago and the other two were both friends in high school way back in the early 80s. The recent one was a person who was bipolar and had lost her children to her husband as she wasn't stable in her condition.

Suicides aren't thinking clearly. So you can use rational arguments to bring them back from the edge. Saying "there are a lot better options" is fine, but you have to appeal to them emotionally and get them to see the options. I'm reminded of the scene in Real Genius where Kent has just decimated Mitch emotionally and Chris appeals to him emotionally by saying they'll get back at Kent. He says "It's a moral imperative." that is how you have to deal with an at risk person. You give them a reason for living. Revenge is a good one and for dealing with the damage done by a bully, it is effective. Get revenge on the bully.

But your attitude is a "Man up. There's more to life" attitude and that doesn't work with emotionally upset people. It just makes them more upset because they don't feel you are empathizing with them.

So you *can't* user rational...

grrrrr... Draugnar can't type today.

@ SantaClausowitz

"just keep living in your own little world gunfighter, where the presence of guns bring down crime"

Guns do bring down crime, but not just the presence of them. The use of guns brings down crime.

"where fighting automatically stops bullies"

In my experience, fighting does stop bullies, because the school system can't.

"I'm assuming erectile dysfunction can be cured by smoking Marlboros."

Don't jump to assumptions. Your whole post is a shameless personal attack on me. I've called you out multiple times for this. If you can't continue to argue without making brash, pointless personal attacks, then stop arguing. There is less shame in losing like a man then losing like a whiny little brat.

"excuse me "effective fighting" stops bullies what ever the fuck that means."

In this context, it means defending oneself through fighting.

"I'm assuming I had to kill the kid in order to stop him."

More of the damned assumptions. You can't win an argument on assumptions. No one ever said anything about killing.

"Ever thought that some kids just like to fight and carry on no matter if they get punched in the nose or not?"

Yeah. A lot of kids are that way. Someone breaks eventually.

"Of course if you obide by folksy cliche's that a bully is really just a big baby trying to intimidate perhaps "effective(?)" fighting is the fail safe answer"

No cliches needed. Fighting is the answer, but no answer is a fail safe answer.

"but what about the kids who are angry and just want to pound on people and be pounded?"

Fine. Let them pound on others and be pounded, but encourage them to do it through mixed martial arts, boxing, wrestling, or football. Why does our society discourage good clean fighting between two consenting people?

"If you don't know that these people exist you obviously have lead a very sheltered life and probably never watched spike TV"

I know those people exist. I was in high school and I'm young enough to remember the experience. I deal with pugnacious kids pretty frequently as a police officer.

@ Draugnar

Thanks for correcting me.

@ ScubaDan

Sure, people who are emotionally stable always come to the conclusion that suicide is a bad decision.

Draugnar is right. The teen brain is still in development, and they are by nature emotionally unstable to begin with, and that plus the pressures of secondary school equals suicide for some kids. It is unfortunate, but about as preventable as a car collision. By the time you realize that mistakes were made, it's too late. The kid's dead.

Bounce. I want Santa to respond with something other than personal attacks.

Well I was content in ignoring whatever it was you posted, but now that you insist...

"Guns do bring down crime, but not just the presence of them. The use of guns brings down crime."

PROVE IT. YOU CAN'T. the States with the most lax gun laws also have the highest crime. Come on. Dare me to find it AGAIN. Then again where the fuck are you getting your info from.

"In my experience, fighting does stop bullies, because the school system can't."

I sincerely believe you are pulling this out of your ass like you normally do, but even you admitted you can't prove it and in my experience fighting doesn't stop a thing. No worries you can't prove your gun statement which shows you are just a liar anyway.

"Don't jump to assumptions. Your whole post is a shameless personal attack on me. I've called you out multiple times for this. If you can't continue to argue without making brash, pointless personal attacks, then stop arguing. There is less shame in losing like a man then losing like a whiny little brat. "

LOSING? You yourself have admitted that you can't prove a thing! How does that =I'm "Losing" your style of argumentation is just saying the same shit over and over again. At least I throw in a couple good zingers.

"More of the damned assumptions. You can't win an argument on assumptions. No one ever said anything about killing."

Then answer the questions? What is fighting effectively? What is the kungfu maneuver that would have stopped this kid from picking a fight every two weeks?

"Yeah. A lot of kids are that way. Someone breaks eventually."

There you go again. What is "Breaks." When is "eventually." Do you not see you speak only in vague statements and somehow you claim its an argument? And Genius they aren't "assumptions", they are pointing out the incredible vagueness in your responses and trying to elicit specific information. Somewhere you know what "Effective fighting" is and what "Eventually" and "Break" (actually you don't). You just throw out these insane generalizations that your pappy told you and you say they are an "argument."

"No cliches needed. Fighting is the answer, but no answer is a fail safe answer."

What the fuck does that even mean?

"Fine. Let them pound on others and be pounded, but encourage them to do it through mixed martial arts, boxing, wrestling, or football. Why does our society discourage good clean fighting between two consenting people? "


Yes all kids have means and the desire to find an outlet for fighting in one of those venues. I'm sure all the punks in the halls think "Hey I could be beating up someone in a controlled and regimented environment after a coach tells me to run 5 miles." Some do, some don't. And the fighting those who don't do are often not cool with the second party, and fighting back often only leads to escalation. Did you even grow up?

"I know those people exist. I was in high school and I'm young enough to remember the experience. I deal with pugnacious kids pretty frequently as a police officer."

Ah a cop, now I get it. Carry on.

So since we both admit that we can't prove a thing about bullying, how about you prove that a high per capita gun rate equals a low per capita crime rate...

Which doesn't even tell the whole story, since half the gun crimes are committed from guns coming from 10 lax gun law states.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/09/26/gun-crime-study-10-states_n_739807.html