"Do you really want to wait until your child can understand love from a critical, intellectual standpoint before you start to pass that value on?"
Yes. I'd rather my child think critically than love me, to be honest--if he did, great, if not, then there are others I'm sure he would find he could love instead...
I don't want him to love me blindly or unconditionally, he should decide for himself whether he thinks I'm worthy of love, to decide what around him is deserving of his attention and love and care and what isn't worth it.
I'm not much of a family person, and my dad and I don't get along, at all--that being said, I'd rather have the determination he passed onto me than his love...and I'd rather the emphasis on thinking I found for myself.
I'm more the type that builds a group around me I care about, rather than care about the group I'm built into...I care for a great many friends like I assume most would care for family, and there are family members I care little for at all, or even dislike.
Blood may be thicker than water, but I'm more a tea person anyway, and it's best to have a wide selection of flavors rather than the single, solitary taste of blood (which isn't very refreshing, anyway.)
"Do you really want to wait that long to teach your child to empathize, to work hard and take pride in their work, to be thrifty, to apologize when they've done wrong (which of course assumes some standard of right and wrong), to protect the weak, to love learning..."
ALL of that can be taught to them in a basic form at age 6, there is a difference between teaching my hypothetical child about working hard and worker's compensation and tax reform and the pros and cons of wellfare.
Again--
I'd rather a child that could think for themselves and be the best at whatever they chose to apply themselves to, sports, music, art, literature, speaking, whatever it was, than an idealized Leave It to Beaver child who loves me and I him.
If I'm cold for that, then so be it--
Sherlock Holmes never had a child in canon, and there's a reason why.
And I'd rather a son like Sherlock who was excellent if cold and even cold towards me than a son who was another Billy Joe.
I'd want a son who could be proud of his accomplishments and stand out from the pack and be recognized above them...
That he could be proud of his unparalleled excellence, and I'd be proud of him as well for that, even if he detested me.
(As you can tell, though, I'll likely NEVER have kids...why, as I've said here before, I'm not even one for dates--and you all wonder why. Well...maybe no one wonders...)
;)