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I don't know what it is, but there doesn't have to be a reason anyways... I could go off on a Billy Joel rant from this point, and that might cheer me up...but I just don't know. Does anyone have some level of understanding of something pertaining to something like something that resembles pre-vacation blues or something?
Do something that juices up your endorphins and think about how great it is while you do it, then think about how much you liked it in the minutes after you're done. It's not just the best medicine for sadness, it's actually the only medicine.
So you know whether that's ice cream or porn or an inspirational TED talk or a drug, just do your fave.
I don't really care about internet relations whatsoever (although can be pretty funny sometimes (and not that I don't care about krellin whatsoever (not that makes any bit of a difference as to what he thinks of me))), I just wish I had the mental capacity to write this damned symphony...
And, of course, I have to finish the first freaking movement by Monday, and I hardly have a basic melody line. And on top of that, I have a Wind Symphony performance tomorrow, and it appears as though my mother has misplaced my Tuxedo jacket... Of course, then there's all this homework I've been late on, coupled with the endless practicing I have to start doing for Band and Wind Symphony. I don't know if all of this is stress, but I'm just about ready to kill someone for the insurance money. I wish that I could play the Piano as well I as I used to, I wish that I could play the Trumpet as well as I used to, I wish that I had kept up with Guitar, and I wish that my 15+ page research report on how to write a stupid symphony actually helped me learn how to write a symphony!
And Good Lord, look at the time! How am I going to finish these math problems and get enough sleep to make it through tomorrow? And what's with iTunes insisting on playing all these stoner songs? ("Stoner songs," as I like to call them, are songs that are absolutely amazing Rock & Roll songs that make me depressed because I know that I'll never write anything that good.) And would you look at that? I'm ranting and raving on the internet again!
KA, forgive my lack of recollection at the moment, I will post again later when I find the name, etc, but my favorite symphony/ opera was five hours and there was this chord(?) that just kept coming out, er, "wrong" to the ear, like, the human ear doesn't expect it, ya know? And anyway, this built up tension internally, just listening to it come out wrong again and again, until, finally, in the fifth hour, the right chord was hit and all the tension just melted away. I know, you probably have no idea to which I am referring, but I sat through that twice because it was so, well, orgasmic, for lack of a better term. I'll find the name of it and the composer. Perhaps you can be inspired by it.
Also, when all else fails, Wagner. The man is a god.
ulytau, I was complaining about how bad of a composer I am...how does that make me an attention-whore?
And dubmdell, that was probably some form of a deceptive cadence. It's an uncommon method used to lure the listener in while making them think they're about to get some sort of resolve. I've tried doing that sort of thing, but I just can't figure it out. Wagner is quite amazing, but I've never quite gotten used to his style...
Sounds like stress/anxiety to me. It seems like you're expecting too much of yourself at one time. Focus on being good at one instrument at a time. Focus on one batch of homework at a time. Focus on one problem at a time. Don't over extend yourself or you won't do any of the things well. Just like in diplomacy, one turn at a time. You can have a few strong focussed attacks/pushes, or a half-passed push all over the place that likely won't succeed.
I think sometimes one is sad for reasons too complicated and large to pin down. Try to put the sadness into your symphony though. It may relieve it to try expressing it in music, and it will also help the symphony.
2WL....YOU FUCKING JEW ASSHOLE! *****FUCK YOU**** AND YOUR DEMANDS. Who the fuck do you think YOU are asking people to not (GASP!!!) talk about the precious fucking JEWS!!
Your Grandpa....for all we know, he was fuckign all the local teens....who the hell was he? Some old fart way back when who happened to be a Jew?
And yet....there YOU are....degrading and offending people all the time with YOUR fucking ideas. FUCK YOU. If you want rapist old Grandpa to be treated with respect (and he's fucking DEAD...)....then have the courage to treat other people, and other people's IDEAS with respect.
Fuck you and you dead Grandpa...oh...wait...Mr. Nazi already fucked Grandpa JUST BEFORE pushing him into the gas chamber....
Yeah....I'm hostile....because liberal ass bitches like you are FULL of hostility towards ideas YOU don't like...and are FREE FLOWING with insults when it suits you....
I'm just playing fair game....and you made yourself fair game....
king Atom....you want to chain 12 year old girls up from your church in you basement to use them as sex toys. THAT is what YOU do wrong. Don't make me repost your PM's to me...
@ 2WL....well than god you were not behidn me, becuse rumor has it you LOVE to suck down a good fart after sucking a dick...and *I* am just NOT in to that....You and King Atom need to hook up if you want to suck a dick and inhale farts, fag boy...
Well, I poured my heart out into a sheet of music for a half an hour... Now I'm even more sad. And in all that time, I only got two measures of music....Perhaps I should give up on this Symphony business and revert to Rock & Roll...