Can you try asking that again? I'm confused.

What? I don't even...

Hmm...

Well, presumably quite a few of us have decided at some point in their lives that something needs to change in their life. Have you ever had the feeling that, when making such a change, you may have given up some habits or whatever that you regret giving up on now? Or maybe you literally threw stuff away so you would never be reminded of some things and now regret doing so?

I hope that's more clear? Sorry for the confusion :)

You've tried cutting your own hair, haven't you?

Nope. My parents are trying to convince me to shave though...

Fair enough. Ok then, is it childhood toys or gifts from an ex-girlfriend?

Have yopu ever haad the feeling the Steephie is in serious need of psychological counseling? Hypochondirac. Paranoid. OCD. etc...

(....I'm not joking...)

Not significantly more so than most of the rest of us...

No, I don't think Stephie has mental issues; I think he just wants someone to talk to and someone to understand him. Most of us do, but we don't usually search for meaningful relationships on an online forum. The only thing Steephie is guilty of is being too sincere and open with us. Perhaps he would be better off having this type of conversation with someone he can talk face to face with; someone who actually knows him personally.

@ Slyguy

What? Online forums are perfect for testing thoughts and opinions with a bunch of people who, when all is said and done, don't really matter. Once steephie has sounded them out I dare say he speaks to people important to him if he feels the need. Mostly, though, I think it's just light hearted musings.

Change is rarely easy unless it's to get away from something really bad. You are giving up the familiar for the unknown. When it's items usually they are things that can't be replaced and sometimes you will lose the memories that they trigger.

With items, if you have the room, then box them up and put them away until you are sure that you don't want them anymore. When they are from some one you were in a relationship they won't be in sight to trigger the memories and you can decide later when you have had time to distance yourself.

Habits are harder since you usually substitute a new one to replace an old one. Some habits are helpful even if they are OCD caused like knowing the distance between places or keeping track of the time for doing something.

"Have yopu ever haad the feeling the Steephie is in serious need of psychological counseling? Hypochondirac. Paranoid. OCD. etc..."

Sounds like a teenager to me! Don't you have teenage kids? The boy's growing up in front of us, no need to be alarmed.

@Octavius
I agree, which is why I have no problem with Steephie's threads. In fact, I find a lot of them to be pretty enjoyable. Apparently though, there are those among us who interpret Steephie's "lighthearted musings" as evidence for an underlying psychological issue. I disagree with them. I think Steephie is no more crazy then the rest of us already are. (As you said)

Well said PE. That's probably why I get what he's trying to say. You know, in an crazy teenager to crazy teenager sort of way.

Stupid adults, you'll never understand... ;)

PE - Oh, I totally have teenagers...and they are quite "normal" teenagers...and I *totally* think they are in need of psychological counseling!!!! lol

I think Steephie knows I'm screwing with him - I've tousled his hair in the past.

<hugs Steephie>

Anyone who had you as their Dad would need psychological counseling Krellin. ;)

Hey, someone was gonna say it if I didn't, so I might as well take the +1's...

This time, you all get it completely wrong (although, to be fair, it is true that some of my lighthearted musings end up here). I don't have this feeling at all. Sure, occasionally I wonder about what would have happened if I wouldn't have stopped with certain hobbies, but in the end, all things considered, I can't think of a single 'real' decision that I should have made differently based on information at the time and that somehow made my life worse.

And that's a tiny issue. 'How the hell could that be an issue?!?' you might ask, and this is how:
I'm writing a book, and I don't know how to properly describe such a feeling (both in and between the lines. Especially the context would have to be realistic), since it isn't one that I ever really felt.

So no need to get worried about me, I'm just having an unimportant luxury problem :)

To address some other 'accusations': I don't believe I'm sick, although my mindset is way too scientific to rule out the possibility that I'm sick, so I can hardly be a hypochandriac.

Paranoia is a whole different story. In my case, it's definitely not a disease I'm suffering from, I like to think of it as more of a skill that I can toggle on or off depending on what I deem best given the circumstances. I use paranoia as a research method to make sure I'm not missing anything: I 'tell' myself that something is true even though it's probably false and then I try to think of a method that confirms this truth. I do this because you usually go through much more trouble to prove you're right than to prove you're wrong, and I sometimes want to be thorough.
So yeah, I consider paranoia an effective tool for some thought experiments and for some potentially explosive situations (if someone who is really pissed at you grabs something out of his pocket while running at you, assume he's grabbing a lethal weapon just to be safe).

I'm done rather quickly with OCD. Before, I knew too little about it to say I don't have it, but when Draugnar and some others talked about their OCD, it was pretty obvious to me that I simply don't have that.

And yes I know krellin. Tough love is your only love, online at least :)
<hugs krellin back>

Oh and, krellin, you do have the annoying tendency to 'read between the lines' when you clearly really don't have a clue what I'm saying between the lines. If you learn to recognize when you simply know too little to interprete things correctly, you could have much better discussions. Of course you're often (or sometimes?) trolling, but sometimes (or often?) not, and you end up arguing against lines you made up yourself.

Maybe that's useful advice for you.

Oh, and none of you are watching me grow up! I may talk a lot, but in essence, you don't have a clue who you're messing with :)
I only post light stuff here, and my personality is almost completely based on the stuff I don't post about.

Steephie - the old advice about writing about things you know about seems apt here. however, the next best thing is research, so you've taken the right steps by seeking advice.

We probably need to know more about the character, but here are a few pointers.

If the item are personal and irreplaceable, such as photos or a comfort blanket, the regret of disposing of them can be akin to mourning. There could be a sense of hopelessness that things can never be the same and there could be an element of guilt that you caused the loss. This could lead to self loathing. On the other hand people can be quite philosophical about things they can't change and will opt instead for remembering the items fondly but not experience any of the mourning, hopelessness, guilt and self loathing. They could even rationalise that they are moving on perhaps even seeking wisdom from a holy book 'when I became a man, I put away childish things.'

Sometimes the items lost/given away may not be personal or irreplaceable but the impact on not having them could be extreme. If, for example, a carer/breadwinner gives away or loses assets that affect the lives of the ones they love and care for. The loss of a family home through a business failing or through, say alcohol problems, can cause immense distress and have an impact on that person's relationships.

As always try to put yourself in the mind of the character and make his/her reactions to the loss allign with their character traits.

Okay, I thank all that tried for trying, but this isn't going to help and I'm not there yet, so I still have time to do some fieldwork... :)

To be clear, it's not going anywhere because I apparently fail to make clear what I'm looking for.

Luckily the book is in Dutch :)

You wanted real people's experiences to better form your idea of how this sort of thing works. Truth is it happens more in the films than real life, and when it does happen in real life people aren't keen to share.

The whole "I'm a successful hot shot city banker, but I miss my childhood on the family farm. Sometimes i feel so empty inside" narrative ain't all that common as you'd think.

Fair enough :)

Steephie - whilst I appreciate that the book you are writing is in Dutch, it concerns me that you can't articulate what you need from us.