Alright then...

1. In the Beginning, Kestas created the Forum and the Boards.
2. And the Forums were bare and unwieldy for one guy, er, god.
3. And so on the first day, around noonish or so, Kestas created Mods to help him.
4. And he saw it was OK-ish.

Did someone get their hands on the Boomer Bible?

5. Kestas then gave each of the Countries a colour, and the neutral territories got one too.
6. And Kestas said "let England be Pink. Let France be Blue. Let Russia be Purple. Let Turkey be Yellow. Let Italy be Green. Let Austria be Red. And let Germany be Brown"
7. And Kestas gave the Neutral countries the colour of Beige, and the seas and oceans became Blue, but it was Light Blue. And so the countries and colours were.
8. And Kestas said "let there be two useable seasons in the year" and it was. And then it was Spring, and then it was Autumn, and so the second year came.
9. And Kestas said "Let all the countries have two armies and one fleet, excepting Russia, which gets two fleets and two armies, and England, which gets two fleets and one army.'
10. And it was so, and Kestas saw that it was good.
8

When did phpdiplomacy first get mods?

I am pretty sure kestas gave the powers colours before there were forums and mods.

mods came in 2008

Weren't gaps in logic (and by extension, fact) one of the requirements? Besides, have some fun with it!

11. Then Kestas said,
12. "Let us make an interface in the image of My website,
13. "such that mere mortals might deign to compete for full dominion in this world I in My awesomeness have created."
14. And so Kestas programmed, working tirelessly to ensure that this happened.
15. Autumn came and Spring came: the third year.

Chapter 2

1. In those days there lived on the forum a man named chrispminis. 2He had been around longer than any other of Kestas' creations. 3And then Kestas said to Chrisp: 4"Hey man, you've been on this site for a long time. Want to be a mod?" 5Chrisp agreed readily, and so was a mod.

6Then, Kestas saw that things needed to change. The users were decadent, and did not care about who won games. 7They were all guilty of going CD, and this made Kestas angry with his people. 8So Kestas told his favorite user, Chrispminis the mod, that he would update the site and change things dramatically. 9Only Chrisp was warned, and he agreed that it was a good idea. 10So it was that in the year before King Uzziah died that Kestas introduced the points system. 11Many many users were wiped out and left the site, but Chrisp survived and repolulated the forum.

Chapter 3

1In the days when the forum was recovered from the Great Update, a great evil came into phpDiplomacy. 2A demon of Satan, his name was Smart Jason. 3Smart Jason came from the faraway land of Hong Kong, or something like that, and is related to sean and wombat and those other east asian guys somehow, according to the elder prophets. 4Smart Jason was the worst scourge the forum had ever seen, because he created dozens, nay, millions of accounts and populated games with them to gain points. 5Each successive attempt to ban him by Kestas and his servant Chrisp were unsuccessful as Satan would merely send him back from the gates of Hong Kong to create more accounts. 6And so it was that phpDip had its first major troll attack. And Chrisp and the users said: 7"Surely this will be remembered for generations." 8And Kestas agreed.

End of Chapter 3

(From here on out I think I came onto the site and so did TGM and many others. So you all can continue to write it out. I'm too lazy to attempt Sicarius and Diplofool and Bearnstein and all those others I forgot)

Remember back when the colors on the map were super saturated and totally ugly? The neutral lands were originally orange, not beige. The colors look much better now that they are pleasantly subdued.