Well okay hang on then.
When you said "about as likely as resurrection" I take issue.
I don't think you can really talk about the likelihood of a supernatural occurrence. We only have, by definition, workable information/statistics/empirical understanding of physical events. So if there was a supernatural resurrection, we can only say "it would not be consistent with what we believe to be natural law" and cannot talk about the likelihood.
Far better to talk about evidence that it happened. So anyway that was just an aside.
But come on you don't actually think there was like a secret passage lol. I mean yeah it's possible. It is. It just seems kind of like mental gymnastics. More believable would be (since I don't think anyone knows what became of those guards) that some Christian contact in the Roman army put some Christians as guards who then fled with Jesus (if he lived) or just fled without him to Parthia I guess.
That seems more likely than a secret passage lol but anyway. Suffice to say that based on what evidence we have, a grave robbery/escape seems far fetched. And I CAN say that since it would be a natural event.
About the Buddhist thing, if he actually went to the East ages 14-29, don't you think he would have mentioned that, even obliquely? Unless that was the "trip into the desert" I see absolutely no reference or even shadow of a reference to something as life changing as a globe trek during your formative years.
All you really have is silence on those years of his life and a couple of Buddhist themes in his ideas.
Once again, I'd say it's a bit of a stretch to go from that to "well then he must have travelled thousands of miles away - there's no other way he could have heard about that stuff."
It seems a lot more likely that he heard it from someone who had been there, maybe even an actual Buddhist, in Palestine. Or even that he came up with it on his own... I mean... Buddha did. Indeed a lot of "great ideas" have been independently developed in lots of places. They tend to be really common sense, natural progression kind of ideas. And it really does feel (could be wrong) like a pretty strong human thing is the whole Golden Rule kind of ideology.
So yeah, I think the idea that Jesus went to the East is kind of far fetched too.
Indeed it's kind of silly if you think it was actually the wise men who took him, because that implies you believe there was some kind of astronomical phenomenon that led them there. I do not believe (though I have not researched) that astronomers or historians believe there was anything of the kind observed in that time period.
So unless they were just bullshitters and the "new star" thing was an after the fact construction.
So again we come back to my original mental block with all this kind of stuff:
Pretty much any scenario is *possible.* Proving possibility is easy, although sometimes your argument may be forced into ridiculous contortions (secret passages! golden tablets! etc). What is difficult is proving plausibility, even likelihood, for what are in truth unprovable, extraordinary claims.
You will only ever get skeptics to follow a claim like that if you have a really strong backup argument.
A good example is science, which frequently makes what are on fact seemingly absurd claims, but they have credibility and certain kinds of evidence which convince us. Producing that kind of shit with something as long ago and miniscule in scale as the death of a religious leader is probably not going to happen.
What if that dude in south France actually found Jesus' bones? Or thought he did? What would it prove? Basically nothing. It's just some bones in a box.