Luckily Detective Draugnar was stopping by to ask questions about the Ron Jeremy accident and to offer counseling services. He heard commotion upstairs and entered the home. He walked up the stairs with his gun drawn to find the mamma Obama and Matty mid-molest. He aimed his Desert Eagle at the molester and fired 15 rounds. Mamma Obama was completely shredded meat from the waist up. Matty had been destroyed in the hail of bullets as well.
"I said no more gay sex!" the detective screamed! "Lesbian sex is STILL gay sex!"
He went through all the proper channels and after working half the night explaining his actions went to the bar for a celebratory nightcap.

Then everyone in the universe, except Draugnar, turned into hot female supermodels. Draugnar was in heaven!

Then they turned into naked men, and Draugnar fell into hell.

Draugnar, realizing CM has a fetish for naked men, then asked him "So are you openly gay or a closet homosexual?"

CM who was wearing a fishnet body suit and zipper mask replied "Duh."

Then Draugnar was gang-raped by the naked hell-men.

Oh sorry did I just put this story into left field?

advocating gang rape? My my

its not rape when he's a willing participant.

I'll put this into the paradox's thread as well, but last night/earlier saw a girl wearing a T-shirt with 'Rape Me' on the back :/

play rape then?

Rape me was a Nirvana song- for those who remember them and Kurt cobain

I think most people remember Nirvana, but I didn't think that was the point of the top - didn't seem the sort of font you'd expect for a band shirt

But then everyone discovered that Conservative Man was straight, and had a fetish for lesbians, and that he was not conservative, when they found him having a threesome with 2 hot women.

We are in summer reruns. Nobody sits by the glowing screen enough to generate new material.

One day, a man was walking down the street when he spotted a $20 note.

the note said that he should jump off a cliff or shoot himself

But he never got to read it cause Godzilla (the original from the Raymond Burr movie) crushed him (he was in Tokyo, which is an odd place for a $20 note).

The End.

(Editor's Note: WTF?! I thought this had finally died!)

But then Conservative Man came to his rescue, and gave him another $20 note, which told him to have a threesome with two women.

Suddenly, IRL, Draugnar felt the urge to kill someone. Seeing as Conservative Man had just refused to let the story thread die, he chose CM as his first (of many) victims.

But little did Draugnar know, Conservative Man was actually a butt-kicking robot, and he decided it was time ti kick Draugnar's butt.

Unfortunately, Robo Conservative Man hadn't been oiled recently and all his gears and servos seized up.

Little did Draugnar know, Robo Conservative Man didn't need oil or any other kind of maitenance, so he kicked Draugnar out of this thread until he promised he would not try to kill him or the thread.

Unfortunately for Robo Conservative Man, Draugnar has many ghoulas.

A black man randomly dies

And taylornottyler is put on trial for killing him as a hate crime.

But taylornottyer is let go because the jury is racist, and God does not exist.

The world turns to Taylor as the new leader and all the Christians magically disappear. The 7 years of tribulation has begun and Taylornottyler is the new anti-christ :D

(Editors note: What the fuck does God have to do with being put on trial for being a racist hater?)

(Editors note: it was foreshadowing to the super twist going to happen when jesus supposedly comes to try and kill Taylor with his hired mercenary army)

(Editor's note: @ Draugnar. Only everything)