The seven representatives of the powers walk to the center of the ring, where a table stands with a Diplomacy board on it. They sit down in chairs around the table and look at each other uneasily. After a protracted silence, the Italian finally says, "A-fucka dis. I gonna try de honest approach. I don't a-hava clue how to play dis game." Then the Englishman says, "I'm sure I don't either," and all of the other countries say something similar in chorus. Then the Italian says, "So, let's-a getta out of here." They all get up and start walking back to their corners.
Voiceover: "Not so fast..." About a hundred soldier lean into the ring and point rifles at the seven representatives. Then the Frenchman says, "Vell, it zeems zat our only obtion iz to play, zen, eh?" And they sit back down around the table.
Montage of the scene after the first hour (sitting rather alertly around the table, waiting for moves to be adjudicated), second hour (slumping a bit, having a rather spirited argument though), third hour (the Austrian is asleep, the Englishman and the Frenchman are quibbling over adjudication, and the rest of them are sitting desultorily), and the fourth hour (Russia is asleep cradling a bottle of vodka, England is crying in a corner, France is pacing, the rest are asleep). Then the Italian wakes up with a start, looks around and whispers to the others, "A-holy shit, guys! All de soldiers are asleep!" The rest of them wake up and the Italian says, "Let's-a getta out of here!"
To be continued...
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Political Blog
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