In 1908 Theodore Roosevelt commissioned an exploratory group to find a way to outer space. Most of the men on the expedition perished immediately, with their first attempts of 'TNT jetpacks' failing horribly. Sadly, one of the victims was our 22nd President, Charles Babbage (no, not the guy who made the first blueprints for a computer, that was Grover Cleveland). Over the next two decades, the world became increasingly dependant on electricity in their lives, and one of the grandmasters of the ancient art of Mashu-Yakti, Nikola Tesla, was at the forefront of innovations. He would create a death ray, but one that was only operational from Space. Hoover's KGB tried to arrest him, but in a moment of self sacrifice he willed his inventions to the Nazi party. This was a primary starting point for WWII, as Hitler needed to control industrial centers, Polish cryptology, and Foucault's Pendulum in France. By 1944, he claimed to be about to win the war, an ironic statement for most, but in truth he was about to claim the spaceship from Russia, which ultimately failed due to Russian geologists deactivating volcanoes to cause a Nuclear Winter (countr-global warming). After the Rape of Berlin, Germany was split, and the search for the Death Ray started. Russia went into Space first, taunting the USA, so the USA built the moon as their own platform for controlling space, and went into an Orwellian level of reconstruction of history to create the said 'moon'. now, the Death Ray was actually destroyed by BJ Novak and the Bear Jew in a burning movie theater, but this was not discovered until Reagan's term, before he nuked Vietnam, but after we sold South Korea to Japan. The USA's moon is actually about 54 square meters in area, and is distorted by the atmosphere several thousand fold, like looking through a telescope. The USA soon came to realize that the only way to control the world, was through religious occultism, so they created scientology, and planted a bunch of big name actors and stars into it. Sadly it did not catch on, and our World will never know stability. Meanwhile, a house sized chunk of Swiss Cheese and Bird Poop is hovering about 200-300 meters above the Earth. The entire program of sending such amounts of cheese to the outer-layer-place-sphere cost us $40.32 and New Zealand, a debt which we passed to China, and unfortunately multiplied due to national binge eating.