We emphatically and humbly apologize for stealing your degrees. Here in the best state in the nation, we are used to a certain amount of degrees in our daily life. We are embarrassed to admit that, in a time of weakness, we let our desires overtake our morals. We wanted the same number of degrees that we are accustomed to, and we are ashamed to admit that we turned to illicit activities in order to attain them.

We want to do the right thing, though. Effective immediately, we will begin the process of returning degrees to their rightful owner. We currently have 82 full degrees to return. To strive to be fair to all states, we will give each stack back 1/4 of a degree. I know this doesn't add up to the amount we stole from you, but it's all we have left that we can afford to give away. We have a minimum operating degree requirement of 70 degrees. If we fall below this, our oceans will freeze. Because we are below sea level, our entire population will be encased in ice. Because we are a state ran by the people, for the people, we refuse to let this happen.

We do, however, want to make this right. We will be gradually giving you additioned degrees that we gain, until our debt is repayed. Or until we get near the critical 70-degree threshold and need to steal more.


P.S. You lot aren't so innocent yourselves, and are hypocrites for your outrage of our theft. You are doing to Canada what we are doing to you. Just because nobody cares about them doesn't make it right to steal from them. Haven't you learned by now that abusing the low class is wrong?