That's obviously not the way to approach it o_O

Sorry, that was for Invictus.

Some stats from a 2013 study on sexual activity among American teenagers, based on data gathered between 2006 and 2010: http://news.yahoo.com/study-finds-fewer-teens-sexually-active-coercion-worries-213000038.html

There's nothing new or unusual about freshman girls going to prom with senior guys. Teens develop at different rates. Some 14 year old girls are very physically developed. Remember Courtney Stodden, who drew some news coverage in 2011 when she got married at age 16? She didn't look 16, and I bet two years earlier she didn't look 14. Here's her wedding pic: http://cdn04.cdn.socialitelife.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/Courtney-Stodden-Website-Pictures-07152011-Lead01-350x300.jpg

Haha ik I gathered that

@bo

The problem with your approach is that it usually takes a long time before one person realizes things aren't working. The first weeks/months of college are very important for building relationships (platonic or otherwise), discovering yourself, and distinguishing yourself as a student. Being in a relationship with a highschooler seriously jeopardizes these. Both people spend so much time trying to maintain their relationship that they lose sight of what they're supposed to be doing.

Again, all this is just from my personal experience.

I'm sorry Abge, it's pretty plain to me, you can get into all the "college experience" semantics and all the "discover yourself" tidbits but the fact of the matter is that Tyran and his girlfriend are obviously in a working relationship that they both want to continue, so why cut it off when there's still a shot? Long-distance (or short-distance without much contact) is hard, I've done it, but it's not impossible. So don't try to fix something that's not broken.

I appreciate everyone's advice

And Bo thank you for your point of view on this. I think I'm going to go with your idea

He is the last one here to listen to. He's still in high school like you.

True. But I have had some others messaging me in pm with the same view. I appreciate all your advice though and I'll consider it all

Every couple from high school that I know that is still together decided to break up when they went to college, and then realized they would rather have a long distance relationship after the first few months of college. No one that I know who entered college in a long distance relationship is still in that relationship.

@bo

First, I'd like to steer this conversation away from Tyran and towards a general discussion of college students dating high school students. I don't know Tyran and it would be wrong to presume so much to continue this conversation.

Every single high school relationship thought it would last forever. Most don't. Distance compounds that strain, even for mature relationships. Pile on first-time independence and your relationship is almost sure to fail.

Breaking the relationship before in a healthy manner, imho, shows maturity and wisdom. There's nothing saying you *have* to date other people or that you can't get back together in 1-2 years. In fact, that way is much more likely to result in successful relationships long-term.

Tyran, you're getting great advice from Invictus.
I was/still am in a very similar situation to you, and trust me, you don't want to go to a school just because of a girl. I had friends that chose to follow girlfriends to schools and they promptly got dumped once they got there, and then were stuck at a school that no longer had any appeal to them.
I've kept a relationship going through transitioning to college so far, and we're over 1000 miles apart, so it does happen, but put the choice of school first, and the girlfriend second. College choices aren't the type of thing to put on the back burner for a high school sweetheart, and if your relationship really is that solid, she'll be supportive of your choice, regardless of the distance from her.

Go to the school that you want to go to, not the school that gives you the most opportunities to see your girlfriend.

uclabb+1

Sorry Abge, I just don't see it.

Sorry Invictus, I just don't give a fuck.

Abge is making an excellent point that it shows immense wisdom to put your relationship aside for the time being and allow both of you to grow independently. Relationships can be restarted down the line, but you don't get a second chance to be 18 and experience a totally new school and environment.

@bo

Are you in college yet (you're right around that age)?

No. And if you don't respect me because of my age there is sure as hell no way I'm going to respect you because of your experience.

I appreciate all the advice I'll think on it

"No. And if you don't respect me because of my age there is sure as hell no way I'm going to respect you because of your experience."

Take it easy there, killer. I ask because, so far, everyone who has been through college is agreeing with me. Granted, this is a small sample size, but I was curious if you would break the pattern.

For what it's worth, I thought the exact same thing you did before I went to college. I was surprised how wrong I was.

Just anticipation. I'm debating with Invictus; I hardly have a choice.

I picked a school based on access to girlfriend who was still in high school. Biggest regret of my life.

Definitely not getting younger. Unless it got older for a while, and now is getting younger again. At 14, I was one of the last of my friends (girls and guys) to lose their virginity. And this was in the mid 80s!

"And if you don't respect me because of my age there is sure as hell no way I'm going to respect you because of your experience."

A fantastic example of why your age means we don't need to respect your opinion on this matter.

Lol Philcore, the 80s... it was the 80s. *Everyone* had sex in the 80s. They scared them all away from it in the 90s. Now it's coming back.

"They"? You mean the government-led AIDS conspiracy? I was wondering if libertarians believed in that.

As far as college goes, I think it matters whether you move out if town for college. I had a gf when I started college, and she wasn't in college. In my case she was older than I was, but just never went to college. But I dint think it would have been any different for me had she still been in high school. We still saw eachother everyday because I went to college 10 miles from where I went to HS. And I didn't live on campus. If you plan to go away for college, I think that changes the bf/gf dynamic completely, but not because if the age difference, but rather because of proximity.

Also, I should make it clear that the various ideas that have been suggested here are varying degrees of bad.

If you want to go off to your first choice of a college and desperately hang on to your hs gf then go for it. No reason to listen to us old farts. It will end in tears, but you'll have done nothing worse than most of us.

But, if you want to delay college or pick a school based on proximity to a hs relationship, that is a particularly horrible idea. Just don't do it. Anyone who says that's a good idea is bat fucking shit crazy.

Invictus - did that trigger some good memories of freshers week or something? haha

Tyran - I'm not saying don't try to make it work. I tried with my gf, but it just didn't work out. And honestly, I would have been better friends with her afterward if we had agreed to break up beforehand. We ended up breaking up mid-September and it just caused resentment on both sides.

What I am saying is don't base your college decisions around her. If a school is expensive, call their financial aid office and see if they can work anything out with you. Georgetown gave me jack all when they accepted me. I called and got my tuition lowered $10k. Still wasn't cheap enough, but the point rests.