This thread is a third rail because it deals with death and family members. Stay away.

I had a similar experience this past month. I did not know the cousin very well, and it was nice to be able to look through old pictures and read stories about his life.

Condolences.

ssoren - I understand, but don't wholly agree. It's been really interesting to watch the post flow throughout the day as my cousin's friends all express their love for him. It's really a way to get to know him in a way i never would have otherwise, ironically.

So know I can't help but to imagine...what if krellin died? Would my cold corpse find the same outpouring of love and devotion that my cousin has? And if not....then maybe it's time to change my life? is social media a valid measurement of your value to society?

Thanks Putin. Yeah - very similar. I knew him, obviously, and he would house-sit for me to watch my herd of animals when I was away....but i realize how little I knew him when i see how many friends have come out to express their feelings of loss.

BTW - glad to see you back, Putin. We have had out...ahem...spats...but I'm glad you are here.

Just something I found interesting is that within a few decades there will be more accounts for deceased people then live members. It is kind of morbid to think that facebook is effectively turning into a digital graveyard. Not bad, it provides the type of memory and grieving Krellin mentioned, just weird to consider.

I am not a social media guy, so maybe not qualified to answer, but from the standpoint of where i am in my life, everyone who i want to be a part of it, already is, without facebook or any other type of social media. If that time comes, the people i want most to cherish me, will.

JMO - You know, I often go to Facebook now just to review my own family photos, with my wife and kids. And if I could, I'd go to my grandma's page and remember her, if it existed.

It's actually a really cool concept...and if Facebook could find a way to do it, it would be *brilliant* marketing...

if this was a way to bring you closer for the moment and share memories with your loved ones, thats almost more than you could hope for given the situation

ssoren - while I totally understand where you are coming from ( you express my father's point of view), I must disagree with you.

I really need to get to bed -- I'm beat -- but basically whereas before we had two, maybe three otpions: Friend, Acquaitence, Nobody. Facebook and the interlinking of relationships has created a broad spectrum of relationships that make the spectrum of relationships not trinary, but truly a vast spen of option.

I'm fascinated and overjoyed to see my cousin's friends come out and express their love and affection for him in his death. In a way, it affirms my feelings for him, and gives me comfort, in a way that I would never experience without this *truly bizarre* social experiment that is facebook (now social monument).

And....hate to tell you this, my friend....but though you hate Facebook, you are **deeply** involved in social media **right here** on WebDip. When I come to Chi-town and eat dinner with you, I will validate that statement.

anytime my friend---we can continue this later

Sorry for your loss krellin.

I have had similar experiences to krellin, and also found solace in the profile of a friend. But having such a profile exist is weird in it's own right. People started tagging her in old photos, which was nice for us, but she never asked for that or condoned it. As she committed suicide (a tragedy unto itself), it was very hard for anybody to judge what she would or would not appreciate. A moot question, sure, but one you ask yourself anyway. And then, one day, the profile was just gone. Facebook had decided we had grieved enough (more likely the next of kin, but still strange experience).

About a year ago I read that FB is maling active policy to address such eulogy profiles. Interesting sign of our times that a private advertising company is in the position of pushing the envelope on online mourning.

Facebook is a form of communication, just like others. There's no reason it can't/shouldn't be for everyone. That'd be like saying "Telephones are for the young, and then the older unmarried who are looking to rekindle lost friendships...for married couples, it can lead to places you dont want to go."

My brother in law died last year. We had no idea who his friends were, or how to get ahold of them. Posting on his FB newsfeed allowed us to alert his friends that he had died. Otherwise, they wouldn't have known. That in turn allowed them to post pictures of him and memories of him on his newsfeed.

Facebook is in no way for everyone. in times of grief, if you find solace in this, there is absolutly nothing wrong with it. As an everyday tool,it is not for all....I know plenty of marriages that have resulted in divorce because of facebook. One can only speak from their perspective and mine is what it is. I need no more aquaintences in my life....you younger people do, and you should. when you are married with childern, there is a finite amount of time and if you have 2-3 friends you are a lucky person. there is no time for more

" is social media a valid measurement of your value to society?"

Good question but I have close family members that live every aspect of their life through social media and I find that is way too much information, it is a lazy way to keep in touch but cheap and accessible. Great for the poor or housebound or people with little time on their hands.
Such a powerful tool yet all some people do is put cat pictures on, each to their own I suppose.
Anyone wanna be my friend on Facebook?

I know plenty of marriages that have resulted in divorce because of telephones too.

Everyone's living on a finite amount of time. If you're happy without Facebook, that's cool, but I don't think it justifies a blanket statement that FB is only for younger people and older unmarried people. I've been married for 19 years and have kids. I'm constantly on FB, as is my wife.

There has never been a marriage that has ended in divorce because of facebook. Those marriages ended because one of the couple was a cheating arse.

"because one of the couple was a cheating arse."

And many other reasons. But none of those reasons are a mode of communication. More likely, it's a lack of one.

Facebook is good for that kind of thing, I agree. As much as I hate facebook the company, I quite like to see people's Facebook profiles. You really can learn a lot about someone, as you know krellin from looking at mine, though not everything, since you were so humorously off-base with some of your conclusions.

Which reminds me , why don't you send me a friend request? I won't out you to any other webdip people if you don't want

Oh Oct, you are flat out wrong. Cheating, takes two. But Facebook tends to bring people back from the past when relationships are most vulnerable, and old feelings come back, or jealousy takes route.
I have eulogized a lost friend with FB as well, and yes it allow friends that I had not seen in 20+ years a way to share their grief collectively with the rest of us.

http://blog.timesunion.com/ontheedge/30-percent-of-failed-marriages-now-blamed-on-facebook/49946/

Here you go and there are many more articles about this

The failure of marriage being blamed on facebook is not the same as facebook being the cause of failed marriage.

The cause is still a part of the sum of the whole