Instinctively, when we disagree with something we want to debate it. Maybe we stabbed somebody but felt it was 100% justified based on previous behavior, maybe we can't resist calling another player an absolute moron because they're playing in a fashion that is completely assisting in another players solo and they just refuse to see it, occasionally we see a war of words in the global press and can't resist stating our opinion, and sometimes we know better then our ally but fail to see that our lengthy verbal conviction about our strategic suggestions are turning them off and greatly damaging your relationship.
Sometimes the best move is just to recognize the temperature of the situation and just shut the f*ck up.
There are so many players out there that when their game starts to flounder they instantly go into "take things personal" mode and vengeance over the players directly (or even indirectly) responsible starts taking priority over almost everything else. I've been on both sides of that, benefiting from an upset player taking it out on others as well as suffering from suicidal revenge seekers. I discovered more and more that once they got into these mindsets, debate or reasoning rarely improves the situation. More often then not, allowing an outlet channel of fluid communication only cements their hostility more and more. Often the best thing is just to cut communications with them to a bare minimum during these periods. It won't necessarily cause things to blow over, but it clears the path for other potential outlets to catch their attention. I've certainly been able to deflect peoples anger and frustration onto other players a time or two in the past. A person may be just as upset at the person who stabbed them as they are towards players who didn't come to their aid or heed their warnings (regardless of whether it was reasonable or not to expect them to). Human nature is wanting somebody to blame and pay for their suffering, best to lay low and let somebody else be that person.
If competitors are going at it in the global press, for gods sake just let them and hope it spirals out of control. That's a blessing and best you can do is fade into the background at that point. If you're going to try to pot stir or fire somebody up with encouragement then do it privately so it doesn't blow back on you.
When it comes to timid players, sometimes you need to just take a step back and use the kid gloves. No matter if you know the exact recipe to get the job done, shoving it down a timid players throat could ultimately backfire on you and they either completely shut down on you or they find a new ally. In these situations earn their trust and respect a little at a time and hopefully over time they'll allow you to get a bit more involved in their decision making. Most likely what's going on is they're not quite grasping everything and they're fearing you might be fast talking them into some kind of trap. Recognize these types of players and try to help them come to good decisions on their own. Providing simple tips for them to consider can be a lot more effective then an overwhelmingly detailed strategy.
And when it comes to the morons of the world, well....diplomacy is the name of the game after-all so usually best to just swallow your pride and keep it to yourself. There are exceptions of course to any situation, sometimes publicly slandering a player may lead to bonding with others that feel the same way and strengthening new relationships. It's all situational, just make sure you're not just doing it for the sole reason that it feels oh so good. Save that for the after-chat or AAR. Not something I'm completely disciplined at yet (as a few out there would attest to) ... but I'm working on it.
Mark Twain wrote:Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference