"Sex - it will knock you right out." - If I used sex to get to sleep when I posted that (ie. 2 in the morning) it would be time for me to wake up by the time I was done. I need a quicker solution!

Oh, so you had to get up after 2:05 am, mafia?

mafia - have you considered Chloroform?

LOL!!! guys i'm laughing to tears!!! Especially the beach thing, and the 5 min sex!!

Tell us, oh mighty seer: To be or not to be?

What am I, friggin Schrodinger? Flip your own goddam quantum state

Why is the toilet thread still on the first page of the forum?

wait: I can fix that!

and done!

"Oh, so you had to get up after 2:05 am, mafia?" - Wow, I can't believe I walked myself right into that one.

@baum - it's on the first page because i'm going to go post in it. BOOM, how you like *them* apples, beotch?

How is babby formed?

I'd tell you, but my reply would be Something Awful.



Or


Since this is apparently a SA meme, the answer is definitely *not* 'intelligent design'

"Tell us, oh mighty seer: To be or not to be?"

Well, that is the question isn't it?

"Mighty Stratagos, hear my cry.."
One day you meet a selfish man. And you say, don't be selfish.
And then he says, selfish bastard.
You say, what's your problem?
He says, that's your problem.
How would you respond to the selfish man in such situation?

Strat--did you make up the "friggin' Schroedinger" answer?

I'd say' "Now you've got a problem, you selfish c*nt!" BAM!

@past - yup

will answer other messages later

@Fur

What are you, in a friggin Michael Jackson song? If your way of coping with the fact you're a tool is to look at the man in the mirror and ask him to make a change, hey, more power, but realize that it's extraordinarily unlikely that your mirror is actually a doorway into an alternate reality.

Of course, if it *is* a doorway - signs such as text not being reversed and subtle differences in the image are typical - then you have to ask yourself if your Mirror Self has your best interest in mind. Given the few documented cases, either the warning will not be specific enough to allow you to make use of it in a meaningful way or you'll fixate on the *wrong part* of the message and screw things up in a way that only hindsight will tell you was foolhardy.

On the flip side, if mirror-you is wearing a goatee, don't trust that motherfucker.

...or a sash!

Strat - is our future predestined in the stars?

Also, which is more correct - the theory of evolution or intelligent design?

The theory of intelligent revolution is much more correct than that of e-design which, let's face it, was made up by a bunch of goatee wearing wierdos in sashes.

You might think there is a spelling mistake there - you'd be wrong. The sash-fanatic goatfiends are all from the town of Wier in north yorkshire (you'd be right if you thought there was a missing capital letter from the last post and two from this one but I abhore the things)

Well, I see why they call you a parallelopiped now - you're a bit skewed!

That's a common assumption made by folks that have not met me. At times I can be completely perpendicular - cuboid in fact: it's just capital letters and sashbearders that send me on a complete slant.

In answer to an earlier question (and to prove that there's more than one way to wallpaper a nunnery) Hell is, as was mentioned, flat but, more precisely, is a torus. The earth is topologically equivalent to a sphere and heaven, of course, is a Klein bottle (which is why God so often seems one sided)

@T

In the 'eventually all the stars, including Sol, will run out of fusable elements and either expose or collapse', yes, our future is written in the stars.

Evolution and Intelligent Design are equally valid, as the universe was created last Thursday

Why isn't everyone blown away by my wit, charm, and good looks the way the should be?

@baum, there are two possible explainations:

1- You completely and utterly lack wit, charm, and good looks

2 - The people around you lack normal emotional reactions, and are therefore aliens.

Given that they are therefore aliens, it is important to determine if they are here to conquer, here to eat you, or here to teach.

But since that wasn't the question you asked, you're on your own there, earthling.