Granted, but you realize he's still human, and is therefore disgracing us all.

I wish great companies like Sierra hadn't been replaced by crappy ones like Blizzard.

Granted. Instead, they were replaced by companies run by termites and fire ants.

I wish we would stop destroyin the rainforest and start working to rebuild it. Here. On Earth.

Granted, but the newly-flourishing rainforest spawns a deadly species of frog that wipes out the human race.

I wish the world wasn't full of idiots.

Granted, all idiots leave Earth and move to Mars. They then fail to live forever and return carrying all kinds of Marian diseases and wipes out the human race in days. I wish that McDonalds had fifty cent large Oreo McFlurries

They do, but only between 5:30am and 6am so you have to get up way too early to get it.

I wish I wasn't getting a cold.

Granted, you're actually getting AIDs

I wish I could meet a girl who likes me for who I am, and not just my huge muscles.

granted, She really likes how you taste and eats you. I wish McDonalds sold the fifty cent Large McFlurry for all day every day

Granted, but it's all you eat and you get monstrously fat and die of a heart attack.

I wish foods that tasted bad were, as a universal rule, good for you in every way.

Erm, that should be tasted good. :-P

Granted, but they are impossible to obtain.

I wish to have more muscles.

Granted - but it cost you points in intellect to add points to your strength score.

I wish life were like a box of chocolates.

Granted - but after being left out in the sun, average life expectancies drop from 80 years to 20 minutes.

I wish that A != A

Granted, but the paradox causes a rift in the space time continuum that even that Torchwood folks can't plug and the universe ceases to exist.

I wish I had all the knowledge of the universe.

"Granted - but it cost you points in intellect to add points to your strength score."

LOL. You're not with modern D&D though. It's Wisdom or Intelligence, not Intellect.

@ Draugnar:

Granted, but since the universe is inanimate, that is zero knowledge.

I wish that Office 2010 would download faster, but not lose any of the functionality.

Granted, but by adding the 2 KB extra download speed, your bandwidth limit is topped and it capsizes the whole network system in the greater North American continent. Seeing this was all based from one computer, the CIA starts a national search for you as they think you are a cyberterrorist and discover after you voluntarily give up your computer for them to see that is is a mistake, that you downloaded 163 songs illegally and you get sued for 57 million dollars, at which point your credit score drops, you lose all your possession, live on the street, and wish you never made that wish.

I wish chapstick worked at sunscreen

I have 0 songs on my computer downloaded illegally. Everything I do is 100% legit.

Granted, but now you can't get your hands on any because it is in much higher demand.

I wish for a hamburger to appear in front of me ON the table ON a napkin, and that it is a real hamburger, bought from Costco, that will not injure, poison, disease, or kill me in any way, nor will it upset the balance of anything, be it the universe, the space-time continuum, the US economy, etc.

Granted, but it is under a glass cover that is glued to the table.

I wish space aliens would come and make me their pet.

Granted, but it turned out to be a dumb wish.

I wish that my pirate bay shirt would arrive soon.

Granted, but it is 6 sizes too small.

I wish the space aliens would rub my tummy.

Your wish is granted. However, when they rub your tummy they impregnate you - as Movibians reproduce by rubbing tummies - and you eventually give birth to a Human-Movibian baby (the first of its kind). Shortly after the birth, you are taken away by American scientists who kill you, disect you (and, it was rumoured, eat you) in the name of "understanding the aliens".

The Movibians see this as an attack on one of their own and launch a full-scale assault on Earth, destroying most of humanity. Hundreds of years later, human survivors recall these events - they lay the blame to one "Draugnar", and his needless wish to have his tummy rubbed by aliens.

I wish for England to bring home the World Cup once more.

Granted, but it's because they're hosting the tournament, and they're eliminated in the group stage.

I wish that I had the sense to remember to post my wish in the previous post.

Granted, but you remember it sucked.

I wish people wouldn't make bad wishes.

Your wish is granted.

I wish that the person above had wished.

Granted, but then he comes back and wishes that you hadn't wished that he had wished, so your wish comes to nothing and you might as well have wished that he had wished next that you had wished that he wish after you.

I wish I could understand this pile of math sitting in front of me and that it wasn't 2.30am.

granted, it is 2:36 AM instead and you only understand one question, which is 1+1. I wish I didn't have to do anything but what I wanted to do

Haha no questions...this is independent research, so no grades, only whether or not the research paper looks cool or shitty.

Granted, you get to do only what you wanted to do, but then you don't want to do what you wanted to do anymore, so you are doing something you don't want to do, which contradicts your wish.