No one's laughing, Nigee. They never have.

Seriously, posting spam emails now? You could have at least posted the space version that's almost amusing instead of a bog standard boring one.

Dr. Bakare Tunde Astronautics Project Manager National Space Research and Development Agency (NASRDA) Plot 555 Misau Street PMB 437 Garki, Abuja, FCT NIGERIA

Dear Mr. Sir,

REQUEST FOR ASSISTANCE-STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL

I am Dr. Bakare Tunde, the cousin of Nigerian Astronaut, Air Force Major Abacha Tunde. He was the first African in space when he made a secret flight to the Salyut 6 space station in 1979. He was on a later Soviet spaceflight, Soyuz T-16Z to the secret Soviet military space station Salyut 8T in 1989.

He was stranded there in 1990 when the Soviet Union was dissolved. His other Soviet crew members returned to earth on the Soyuz T-16Z, but his place was taken up by return cargo. There have been occasional Progrez supply flights to keep him going since that time. He is in good humor, but wants to come home.

In the 14-years since he has been on the station, he has accumulated flight pay and interest amounting to almost $ 15,000,000 American Dollars. This is held in a trust at the Lagos National Savings and Trust Association. If we can obtain access to this money, we can place a down payment with the Russian Space Authorities for a Soyuz return flight to bring him back to Earth. I am told this will cost $ 3,000,000 American Dollars. In order to access his trust fund we need your assistance.

Consequently, my colleagues and I are willing to transfer the total amount to your account or subsequent disbursement, since we as civil servants are prohibited by the Code of Conduct Bureau (Civil Service Laws) from opening and/ or operating foreign accounts in our names.

Needless to say, the trust reposed on you at this juncture is enormous. In return, we have agreed to offer you 20 percent of the transferred sum, while 10 percent shall be set aside for incidental expenses (internal and external) between the parties in the course of the transaction. You will be mandated to remit the balance 70 percent to other accounts in due course.

Kindly expedite action as we are behind schedule to enable us include downpayment in this financial quarter.
Please acknowledge the receipt of this message via my direct number 234 (0) 9-234-2220 only.
Yours Sincerely,
Dr. Bakare Tunde Astronautics Project Manager

Now... that one has quality!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=atgyXNHiim0

Nigee, you need to contact Alex Yacouba right away and tell him that circumventing the law of Burkino Fasa and preventing this money from entering the National reserve bank (to benefit the peoppe of that nation) would be highly illegal and immoral.

However given the well known corruption within RBBF you wouLd be willing to arrange for the whole sum to be transfered to a charity whose sole mandate would be to re-distribute the wealth appropriately. Mr Alex Yacouba can begin to setup of a charity right away and you can promise to begin research into the most effective methods for spending this money.

However as the conversation continies you will become aware that the CIA has been monitoring you email communications (as they are unencrypted) this is becausd of your work with journalisin the hacker group anonymous. As such you have been forced to relocate and all previous details will become void (setting up new accounts for yourself to ensure nobody has their details and then only replying to his messages in deeply encrypted formats - with a two layer pgp encryption protocol - which require Alex Yacouba to produce a public key for you to use in any communications with him)

Later your investigations in Burkino Fasa will reveal that CIA agents have been attempting to track you down by moving to torture Mr Alex Yacouba and perhaps murder his family; you will insist that he relocate immediately to northern Mali and liase with your contacts within the Islamic resistance fighters there to ensure his securit and safety; you will apologise deeply for the danger you have put him in but ask that he destroy all information relating to you and the plans to undermine Burkino Fasa law.

Those CIA agents have a lot to answer for, one little mention of Islamic and fighter in the same sentence and the waterboard is out, them the Guv'nor at Guantanomo gets a text asking if another dog kennel can be made available for an enemy combatant.
Being English and innocent I'll probably only do 7 or 8 years there but I fear the worst for Mr Yacouba, you can tell he's not a good guy just by the name, he even sounds foreign.
I'm sure using a Western first name won't fool the intelligentsia at the CIA, they will know he's a raghead. I'm sure he'll have all sorts shoved up his bum by the time he gets out..... if he gets out.
On second thoughts, they can keep their dirty money ..... I'M OUT

@Fasces349 - I'm loving OGFurious - a true peoples champion :-)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CveTvPmkDW0

OG is funny :-)