I love Swedish jokes. I'm part Norwegian, part Welsh. Anyone got any good English jokes?

"I'd disagree about the priest jokes. Not because of the religious part of it, but because that sort of thing absolutely ruins the lives of the young victims. To make crude jokes and laugh about something that has ruined a young person's life is cold at best, and pretty much fits in with what I posted a few moments ago."

But, Racial jokes are OK, because, you know, no Black person was actually hurt by being lynched and no Jews were actually hurt in the holocaust...

Which reminds me, what do you say to a black jew?

Get to the back of the oven!

@stevo: it's odd, i'd prefer not to tell a racist or sexist joke for fear of offending someone, whereas dead baby jokes don't risk offence by their telling.

You can argue that telling jokes encourages the behaviour depicted in the joke then you shouldn't tell racist or sexist jokes either. Telling them can only be seen to justify these negative behaviours, (much more so than the killing of babies, racism has been a major problem in our society, as culture of acceptance of hatred and fear which has not occured to baby killing;)

Still i'm not complaining about stupid jokes which i don't find funny, freedom of speech to you racist-commie bastards!!!

also the eve joke is fantastic! i like it.

@SteevoKun the UK?

Those Adam and Eve jokes really made me laugh.

Which isn't cool cause I'm sick and it hurts to laugh. Haha.

@Abgemacht

If you reread what I posted I said I have a problem with the "graphic" molestation, murder jokes - the ones that, present putting people into a blender as funny; this would also apply to graphic jokes about things such as hate crimes (I pointed this out in the post talking about Matthew Shepherd).

The ones I said I don't have a problem with are ones that play on stereotypes and poke fun at social perceptions.

@Orathaic

Like I said in my early post, I'm not concerned with whether the jokes other people are telling offend people - that's between the person telling the joke and the person(s) offended, I would prefer to not personally offend people with my jokes and would apologize as I find appropriate but that's distinct from what others choose to do.

I didn't say the jokes encourage the behavior directly. What I did was pointed out how people don't start out as being sociopathic or psychopathic killers, your characterization of my statements is not what I was trying to convey.

I was pointing out how I take issue with jokes that make light of graphic mutilation of a person (the worst ones I saw on this thread were dead baby jokes so I took issue with those directly here), which show a great degree of desensitization to graphic violence. What is funny about someone microwaving a baby? I remember a case from when I was in high school of an abusive mother killing her infant by microwaving the child - if that case is not funny then how is a depersonalized joke about that situation funny?

Despite your sarcasm in that last sentence, I do support people's right to exercise their freedom of speech - within reason, which is the consensus concerning that legal right in the United States (i.e., freedom of speech doesn't include hate speech, violent threats, etc.)

@Steevo

I suppose I'd have to ask you the following questions then:

Do you have a problem with violent video games or violent movies?
Since racism is still a real problem (and as far as I know a much bigger problem than baby blending) why are jokes that involve stereotypes OK with you? It seems to me this exhibits the same sociopathic nature that you claim the more graphic jokes display.


And, to keep on topic (Out of courtesy, I'll tell you that you may not want to keep reading this post):






How do you make a dead baby float?

Take your foot off its head.

@Abgemacht

I presume you're talking about gratuitously, graphically violent video games and movies? Things like Hostel and Saw? Yes. Do I have a problem with someone punching someone on screen? No. I see something wrong with the focus being on violence - things like Faces of Death, which are absolutely sick - if an actor punches another actor as part of a dramatic performance and joy is not meant to be gotten from the violence itself then it's beyond the scope of what I'm talking about (though I'd say someone has issues if they find joy in watching someone getting beat up in any situation).

Jokes that poke fun at stereotypes and our idiosyncracies point out how ridiculous we can be, they're satire. Making a joke about a racist mob violently mutilating a black man for no reason, with the focus being on the idea that violent mutilation is funny doesn't have anything to do with satire, it's saying that violent mutilation is funny - that I take issue with.

There's nothing funny about the awful things people do out of hate and ignorance, but say a joke about gay conservative politicians who hook up with other men in bathrooms while fighting gay rights legislation is pointing out how ridiculous homophobes in the United States are.

If a joke involving stereotypes is based upon hate, I take issue with it, but one that simply pokes fun at how silly our needless divisions within society are (straight, gay; black, white, hispanic) can challenge our perceptions - though obviously most people telling and hearing such jokes (or saying or hearing anything, for that matter) are simply looking to entertain themselves and remain ignorant, unfortunately.

@ SteevoKun

Point of fact: Freedom of speech in the United States DOES include hate speech.
http://www.kansaspress.ku.edu/strwhe.html

Well, now we know officially which jokes are the funniest in the world:
http://www.rd.com/clean-jokes-and-laughs/the-funniest-joke-in-the-world/article168610.html

@Toby Bartels

Thanks for the correction. :)

It looks like Chaplinsky v. New Hampshire only restricts hate speech when the words used "by their very utterance inflict injury or tend to incite an immediate breach of the peace."

According to the ACLU's website such unprotected speech acts would include direct confrontation using racial, homophobic, sexist, etc. slurs, but not general speech that would fall into those discriminatory categories.

For the record, I (and I'm sure most other people) find racial slurs in general to be sophomoric at best and generally moronic whatever the law may be in the United States.

Oh, and one more racial joke.

A Finn and six Americans played Diplomacy. The Americans lost.

:P

Here are few jokes that I heard over time.

Q: Who don't Chinese play soccer (football)?
A: Because every time they get a corner they open a store.

Q: What is a Jewish boy doing sitting on the roof near a chimney?
A: Waiting for his mom.

Q: How does Polak kill a fish?
A: He drowns it.

Q: Why do they take women to space?
A: Dishwasher is too heavy.

Q: What do you call black guy in courtroom?
A: Guilty.

Here's one for all the Minnesotans and/or Scandanavian-heritage folks out there;

Ole and Lena was at the kitchen table for the usual morning cup of coffee and listening to a weather report coming from the radio.
"There will be 3 to 5 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. All vehicles should be parked on the odd-numbered side of the streets today to facilitate snowplows," the radio voice declared.

"Oh, gosh, OK," said Ole, getting up, bundling up and heading outside to dutifully put his car on the odd-numbered side of the street.

Two days later, Ole and Lena were at morning coffee when the radio voice said:

"There will be 2 to 4 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your vehicles on the even-numbered side of the streets."

Ole got up from his coffee as before. He bundled up, shuffled off, and put his car on the even-numbered side of the street.

A few days later, the couple was at the table when the radio voice declared:

"There will be 6 to 8 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the ..." Just then, the power went out.

"Park it where?" Ole asked in the dark, "What should I do?"

"Aw, to heck with them, Ole," Lena said, "Don't worry about it today. Just leave the car in the garage."

A man parks his car in front of the Congress*.

A policeman stops him, says "You can't park here, this is where the Congressmen go through when they leave the building"

The man answers: "Don't worry, I have insurance."



* Originally, it's the Argentinian Congress, but I guess it applies to most.

Figures this would turn into a political argument. Okay, I'll play along:

Steevo, may I kindly remind you that the ACLU has repeatedly defended gay pedophile murder-rapists in court? They defended a woman who drowned her own kids and tried to drown herself. They defended two illegal immigrants from Honduras who killed and ate a dog. They defended an illegal Mexican immigrant who burned his own kid's hands with a blowtorch. They spend every waking moment defending murderers (some call this "abortion"). They defend terrorists. They defend everyone who is not a white Christian male in court whenever they commit a terrible crime.

And to top it off, Ruth Ginsburg is their former chief legal counsel.

These people have neither shame nor intelligence. They are the embodiment of evil itself. Why should we listen to them?

@ Master Warrior. Links, please? Otherwise you're just spouting off hyperbole.

I really need to stop responding right before I leave for the night...

@TMW: figures you'd ignore the topic of what is inapropriate in jokes and make attacks against some other group.

@stevokun: the graphic mutilation is only funny because it's not a funny topic.

Why are rascist stereo-types funny? some perhaps have some truth to them:

"Q: Who don't Chinese play soccer (football)?
A: Because every time they get a corner they open a store." - the relative diference in currency does mean Chinese people can make much more money by opening a corner store in the US (or i've heard the joke made about people from pakistan in the UK) so yeah, truth about the economic divide. But i don't think it is fair to take the assumption that we are better than them because we have more money (or our money is more valuable on global money markets...)

I would still argue that discrimination based on gender or race is a much great problem in our society.

I beleive studies have shown that violent video games do not encourage violent behaviour (look at the studies yourself, or even do some) You can find some people suggesting otherwise that most people who have committed school shootings (or other similar horrific acts) have played these kinds of computer games (or even used them as a type of training) but that is like claiming that bread causes violent crime because 98% of people on death row (in the US) eat bread.

Master Warrior... you are a fool.

The ACLU defended Rush Limbaugh in court.
You heard me.

And yeah.. the "awful" jokes are the funniest because they poke fun at our sensibilities. We laugh because the alternative is to shudder. Same reason some people can't help but laugh when at a funeral.

They did not defend Limbaugh. The hypocrisy would destroy any positive reputation with any whackjobs who listen to their brainless ideals.

Well, back to jokes.

I don't know who the ACLU are, nor do i care. Why don't you take that conversation to another thread if you want. This one is for jokes, and posisble commentrary about what kinds of jokes are inapropriate.

:::Jesus came across an adulteress crouching in a corner with a crowd around her preparing to stone her to death. Jesus stopped them and said, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."

Suddenly a woman at the back of the crowd fired off a stone at the adulteress. At which point Jesus looked over and said, "Mother! Sometimes you really tick me off!"

Wait, wait, is The_Master_Warrior trying to ruin his own thread? We'd got off the legal (not political) discussion and back to jokes, then he brought up a load of political blather.

It would be perfect irony, to go right along with his attacking the ACLU because people pointed out that the ACLU would defend his right to tell these jokes (and more).

TMW, enough with the politics; let's get back to jokes like TMW originally intended!

(While I wrote this, TMW has also said back to jokes. So yeah, back to jokes. Although I haven't written any, I'm having fun reading them.)

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,108140,00.html

Wow, it's really difficult and time-consuming to Google aclu limbaugh.

I used to date this Polish girl and she gave me this great joke...

How do you stop a Polish tank?

You shoot the people pushing it.

Why don't sorority girls use vibrators?

It chips their teeth.