"First things first--but not necessarily in that order"
-Dr. Who

figles- brilliant, i love the killers by the way

Killers are awesome, as is Bill Bailey..

Bill Bailey: Anyone know any famous vegetarians?
Person in crowd: Gandhi!
Bill Bailey: Gandhi!
Person in crowd: Hitler!
Bill Bailey: Brilliant. This is probably the only sort of scenario where those two names can be shouted out at the same time. Or it could be a pub quiz. Gandhi! Hitler!
Person in crowd: Linda McCartney!
Bill Bailey: Linda McCartney! Or it could be a very unusual horse race. Come on Gandhi! Come on Hitler! Who'd call a horse Hitler? Hitler coming up on the right, or is it the left?

When I give food to the poor, they call me a saint.
When I ask why the poor have no food, they call me a communist.
Dom Helder Camera

Life's a journey, not a destination ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
(or so I've been told - I've also seen it attributed to Steven Tyler after Aerosmith used it)

" If I were not an atheist, I would believe in a God who would choose to save people on the basis of the totality of their lives and not the pattern of their words. I think he would prefer an honest and righteous atheist to a TV preacher whose every word is God, God, God and whose every deed is foul, foul, foul." Isaac Asimov

"Then we must take it."

Red Storm Rising, after the USSR Politburo realizes that they cannot manufacture/buy enough oil to sustain their country.

"If you build a man a fire, he'll be warm for a night. But, if you set a man on fire, he'll be warm the rest of his life."

"God made me an atheist; who are you to judge Him?"

"What does Richards beer taste like?" ~ Some Guy
"Take the best day of your life... and put it in your mouth." ~ Some Bartender

“If you don't read the newspapers you're uninformed. If you do read the newspapers you're misinformed”
- Mark Twain

"If you know the enemy and you know yourself, you need not fear the result of one hundred battles."
-- Sun Tzu

If they give you lemons, you make lemonade, and if they give you shit, you film "two girls, one cup".

- Someone I know.

"Democracy is truth. Communism is death."

-- The giant robot "Liberty Prime" from Fallout 3

Xapi +1

Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain.
--Friedrich von Schiller

I've been looking for the ultimate crime. Infinite victims, infinitesimal time - Jim Steinman, Original Sin.

Nothing about a persons race, sex, colour or creed stops them being a small minded little git - Terry Pratchett.

Quotes from Richard K. Morgan:

I'm stacked, backed up, and I'm fifth dan. I'm not afraid of the Patchwork Man

When they ask how I died, tell them: still angry.

The human eye is a wonderful device. With a little effort, it can fail to see even the most glaring injustice.

The difference between virtuality and life is very simple. In a construct you know everything is being run by an all-powerful machine. Reality doesn't offer this assurance, so it's very easy to develop the mistaken impression that you're in control.

I have no excuses, least of all for God. Like all tyrants, he is not worthy of the spit you would waste on negotiations. The deal we have is infinitely simpler – I don't call him to account, and he extends me the same courtesy.

"Sonny, true love is the best thing in the world.....Exept for a nice MLT, mutton lettus and tomato sandwitch, when the mutton is nice and lean. I love that, it's so perky."

-Miracle Max, The Princess Bride.


"You need to find yourself a girl, mate. Or, perhaps the reason tha you practice three hours a day is that you've already found one, and are otherwise incapable of wooing said person.

You're not a eunich, are you?"

-Captin Jack Sparrow, PTOC

Xapi- that is disgusting and awesome at the same time, LO FUCKING L

"We're going to go through them like crap through a goose!"

-- Lieutenant General George S. Patton

"......"- Helen Keller

lolz

"I am a good, christian man, I attach no value to human life" - Attributed to Otto Von Bismarck.

Kill them all and let God sort them out. ~ Many a religious commander.

He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours faithful and true to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion. ~Anonymous

“If you don't read the newspapers you're uninformed. If you do read the newspapers you're misinformed”
- Mark Twain

When the rich wage war it’s the poor who die.
Jean-Paul Sartre

He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy! - Monty Python

I didn't think this line could be funnier, until I saw it on a placard at Burnley FC following the exist of their manager. Lol is overused IMHO, but I really did laugh out loud.