You guys kicked that admin's ass.

Wow, that admin opened terribly for Austria.

If Goldie hadn't been Austria (hence me watching) I'd have taken over Russia there

Hey everybody. I was Italy. I was just trying to preserve a stalemate line. I have a lot of thoughts about that game. I'll type them up after bit.

I thought Austria's opening was horrendous, btw.

I put far too much trust in France.

Such a troll. Can't complain though, I love trolls

So, first impressions - my god was this game bad. (Drew Austria in both live game attempts today. Such bad luck)

First off - I'm sick and tired of the rule that in gunboat Italy must do the Balkan gambit. Its absolutely stupid. Second - if you're gambit fails (as Italy's did here) then you ***absolutely*** must cut it off immediately. That you moved to Venice and then proceeded to keep attacking me was just boneheaded. A competent Turkey would have killed you in 1904 because of that.

Which brings me to Turkey. Why on earth would you not take Greece when I handed it to you on an open platter? I could have easily bounced you out of Serbia in the fall. I changed my orders last second to go for Gal. But the point stands - if Austria is handing you an A/T on such an open platter and Italy is completely out of position WHY NOT TAKE IT. With Italy and Russia's moves, you could've soloed by 1906-7 had you gone straight against Italy out of the gate. The army build in 1902 - huge mistake. You were playing far too cautious, almost as if you were imagining that you had dynamite in your hands when it was a plate of brownies. Second huge mistake - not taking Ionian in 1903. Again, golden platter that you turned down. Watching you this game was actually painful, since you had a solo handed to you in 1901 and you did everything in your power not to take it. Italy should've been dead had there been a halfway decent France and Turkey.

Other comments - poor play by Germany and Russia to CD when things weren't going there way. Poor play by England to completely abandon his homeland to France. Honestly England, had you fought France, things would've turned out differently (also, Y U no accept my support to Berlin?)

Let's see, that brings me to....1903. Oh dear. France, some of the tactics were suboptimal there. You seem a decent player, but could use some work. I would've dived in on Italy in spring 1904.

1904 brings up a lot of questions I had though. Turkey - why on earth would you ever even **consider** giving Italy Budapest? I handed it to you. This is where you should see that France is going to solo and you damn well race him to it. Not pussy out and lay back. Also, Italy I got into Munich, yes? Why dislodge me when you had no way of keeping Mun? Your two support holds and I stay in Munich and France doesn't solo. You take Munich and France takes the damn thing the next turn. Just poor, poor play.

The end of the game was just sloppy. As PW said in our mod chat (yes, you had quite the audience. They love to watch me get killed in gunboats) "That's not a line. That's some units near a line." I mean, Turkey what were you doing around Italy's home SC's! You were actively hindering a line from being formed. Italy, Germany was clearly going to cut Kiel's support on his last turn, so why didn't you cut Munich so Turkey could gain Berlin? Turkey, why didn't you ever have your draw vote up? The game should've been over a long time ago, but due to some of France's sloppy play ya'll managed to last a bit longer.

The admin went full Hedgehog.

You never go full Hedgehog.

All I'm seeing is a lot of excuses there, goldie. I can't believe you'd even think of hedgehogging and then going for Ukraine there!

I hate you so much right now...

To be fair about the (admittedly) confusing 1903, I'm playing drunk off my ass on IPA, on the couch on my phone while my girlfriend watches DVR'd Grey's Anatomy. I've been scolded twice for my lackluster emotional connection with the new doctor. Anyways, England...wtf?? You handed me this game, took it right out of Turkey or Italy's palm.

I aid the Hedgehog was bad. I said Ukraine was bad. But you listened to the dumbass who openly professes that he can't play Austria.

I decided from the start to leave ENG open and move north to take Scandinavia, hoping France would send his fleet south while moving in on the BEL/HOL -- so that we could work together against Germany. Despite clear German aggression into the French homeland, I felt like the good faith I showed France was completely betrayed.

That said, when I saw the army build in BRE I should have trusted my gut and moved London to Wales, but I felt I had committed to trusting France. Clearly, I put too much faith in hoping France would work with me on Germany.

Oh well :)

I wouldn't say that I handed you the game though, klopskap: you gained gross advantage through Germany and Russia abandoning the game.

This is true. Either way, thank you all for the fake internet points!

Well that was a painful game.

@gold - wow. You might say I was inept because I didn't remit my attack. I made peace with Turkey. It worked out. The only ineptitude was in your play which is why I slew you.

@Valis - I never even thought you were trying to exert substantive influence over the board. I was too busy laughing at the fact someone took Germany over which I thought was brilliant. You deserved a share for the balls-iness alone.

@pandas - I'm not sure you knew where the stalemate line was.

Maher - First, why would you continue at me when your initial bit failed AND Turkey was in Serbia. Had you made peace, I had Serbia guaranteed back.

Second - why would you ever, EVER risk letting Turkey into Ionian like you did to take Trieste? Absolutely stupid. Any good Turkey would look at the support hold you gave, go "lol, yeah right" and then plow through you.

Third - Why would you take Mun from me when you had no means to hold it? That quite literally gave France the game, as there was nobody else to shore up the stalemate line.

And to be clear - it didn't work out for you. France soloed. You lost. And if France hadn't soloed, Turkey would've soloed. In no world do you win from your play, or even a draw. You call my play inept, I say I crippled Russia from the get-go, and had things in the north been slightly different, Russia would've been on the brink of elimination by 1903. Knocking out the Jugg before it even starts is not inept.

Also, Valis could've saved the game for you guys, but you didn't let him, Maher

My sacrifice was in vain =(

So the end game play was terrible. Everyone involved messed up in some way or another in the final 3 years missing opportunities that could have impacted the game either way. If you need me to point out the spots let me know.

Hence the middle part of,

"4/10, you're all shit, totally would do it again-IGN"

Any good Austria would've made sure Turkey didn't get two builds in the first year. "You could've taken Serbia back?" So what? He could've had Greece?

Your weak play led me to the conclusion that he was a long-term player and that you were dog food. I figured I had a better chance of making points by being friendly to the person I read as a long-term player and maybe getting a share of a draw than I would've in stopping my (profitable) attack on you.

I took Munich because I was faced with the following choice: (1) Leave you there for some nebulous benefit that someday you might be part of a stalemate line - to be honest after the beginning of the game I thought you were a n00b and more likely to wander off towards Belgium than be helpful, or (2) Take it, get a build and actually be a participant in the center of the board.

I'm still trying to grasp the notion that in a gunboat game where you made a spectacle of yourself with your bad play that somehow we were supposed to telepathically realize you sitting on 1 center in Munich was indispensable to the future of Europe.

You got pwned, and deservedly so.

http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view5/3554370/hold-me-back-bro-o.gif

My "bad play" was holding back T/R from advancing via land had you not stabbed me in the rear. Yeah, I didn't prevent Turkey from getting two SC's because you opened with a Balkan Gambit!! You think I'm going to reward you, say "Good job, Italy. Thanks for trying to fuck me. Here, how about I help stop Turkey which is only in your interests for me to do so?" No! Of course not. What I did do is prevent Russia from getting more builds and allow Turkey to instead, which is precisely what any Austria should do when Italy does something as dumb as stab in S1901.

I was trying to tell Turkey I wanted an A/T. Turkey didn't take my plan. So I was going to readjust, retake Serbia and hold a line against him, had you just let me be.

I'm not trying to say I played well. There were moves I could've done better. I just want to snap you out of the thinking that killing me off was a good idea. For example, in your Munich situation, a build is *zero help* to you if you just build another army. What did that extra army do before the destroy that wasn't already possible to be done had I been alive? Had you built a fleet and destroyed an army, then you might have an argument, but you didn't

Yeah - the army was a bad move.