Thank you Demon Overlord. I really do appreciate your interest. I know I have "an audience" in the real world & I have to commit myself to writing to them. It's bloody scary for me, it's such a contradictory thing for me, it's easy and it's almost impossibly dificult all at the same time. Fortunately, as I have hinted, it's the strength of those close to me and their love that makes it possible for me to believe I can succeed, and they help me find the courage to try.
Yes, some comments have been hurtful. But blighters like James and ssorenn will not cause me to deviate from my chosen course. Some behaviours, some types of belief systems ( & maybe I think our two clowns indulge in these ) have to be confronted and exposed, revealed as fraudulent, selfish and stupid, imho. Why is there so much hatred in our world, so much selfishness ? I'm far from perfect, I fail, I am rude to people for trivial reasons.
One of those clowns mentioned me crying. I have been. Another young person, a beautiful young woman, tortured by self doubts, driven by demons about self image, what is thought to be beautiful.. You can figure it out. I weep for her parents, her friends, and for her. In the midst of such prosperity, material wealth in relative global terms...There was also a tragic murder of a young woman at a local beach a few years ago. So the questions haunt me.. What are the really important things in life and why do we fail to understand their true importance ? What does it take to reawaken our awareness, as different individuals and collectively ? If I can find a way to get even a few people to ask themselves these questions. It's not just young women, it's young men as well, it's a big problem in marginalised indigineous communities.. it feels like an epidemic of tragedy. It's almost "normalised" & we shouldn't be surprised to have another grieving family next week/next month. So yes, I want to shake it up a bit, explore some big themes, use characters and plot to put some confronting questions out there. For a whole variety of reasons. When I drop out for a while, that means I am working seriously. Right now it's early days, so although I've got my answer to the "am I prepared to give this what it will take question, a yes I am...I still have time to post here, while I sketch out my cast, work up a plot outline, scribble ideas into notebooks. One "industry" ( that we call it an industry is in itself interesting ) the gambling industry is set for a right solid kick in the rear vestibule in my story.