"I don't want to use a woman for sex"

Ever think that she might be using you for sex? You seem to be coming from an assumption that sex is something that women put up with to make men happy.

Believe me. Women love sex as much as men do. And in some cases, more.

Agreed with Jack. Don't buy into the societal double standards. A lot of women will pretend they're not into it because women who are into it get strangely looked down upon. While men who are into it are championed. And yet, in those same circles, homosexuality is looked down upon. So there becomes a really apparent contradiction.

If women who have had multiple partners are bad, and men who have had multiple partners are good, and men can not partner with other men, where are all these additional partners for the men coming from?

I also disagree with the sentiment of Draugnar's song. I've been in plenty of one night stands and only one went like that. If both parties walk in aware of what the situation is, it's completely victimless. But not something I would encourage at 14.

@SD - just because the multiple partner woman isn't bad doesn't mean she doesn't exist. One "dirty girl" can make up for dozens of nice girls.

*is bad, not isn't bad.

The math still never adds up.

That's because procreation is about "being fruitful and *multiplying*". Stop trying addition and turn to multiplication.

3 women times 20 men each = 60 fucks
plus
20 women times 1 man each = 20 fucks
equals
20 men times 4 women each = 80 fucks

Multiplies and adds up.

But when a man tells you how many women he's fucked, you always need to halve it and round down. When a woman tells you, you double it and add three.

I never said that casual sex between 2 people who agreed to have it wrong, I only said that men using women, or women using men, is wrong. And I find it very depressing that the majority of men are fine with using women, and a good amount of women are fine with using men.

I guess you'll have to define what using someone for sex means. It would seem to be a dominant action where only the user is getting pleasure from the act, and does not care about the used party at all except insofar as said party has the preferred equipment and enables their use. I actually don't think many people are into that. But I do think that people are into having the occasional roll in the hay with a friend or stranger that is mutually consenting to it just being a roll in the hay.

@Sacred: If you take out the 'only the user is getting pleasure' part, a lot of people are into that. And in my definition, using would be only having sex with the person, when the other person expects more than just sex, and then never talking to or seeing them afterwards, thereby hurting and using them.

Right, that's covered under the only the user is getting pleasure from it. Pleasure is found at the resolution. I'm not talking about an orgasm, I'm talking about being satisfied with the experience in retrospect.

Oh, okay. So you don't think many people actually do that? I sure hope so.

No, I honestly don't think so.

@CM - Not many people have the sex strictly for their own pleasure and with intent to deceive someone else. Most ONSs are mutual ONSs or "drunken fucks". There are people who take advantage of another's feelings to just get laid, yes, but there are also people who use the date rape drug to get what they want to. But they are in a distinct minority.

@Draugnar: Well my dad does. But he doesn't do it ONS style. He does it by pretending to love you and pretending there is a real relationship to continue getting what he wants. So in other words, he's smarter about it than most guys who do that, but that doesn't change the fact that he's a jackass.

"There are people who take advantage of another's feelings to just get laid" Ugh yes. Absolutely. That is one of the most miserable feelings in the world. Be careful, don't let that happen to you.

Basically, as long as both parties walk into something understanding what is going on, great.

I had a chief in the Navy (who was a self-admitted whoremonger) point out that his "relationships" with hookers is a hell of a lot more honest than his relationship with his ex-wife.

Chief Brillhart was an asshole, but he did have a point.

@CM - So your dad has sex with you? Ewe! :-)

I assume you meant that was howhe treated you rmom. There is probably some underlying problem in their relationship and they should go talk to a marriage counselor or their minister/pastor/preacher/priest if they prefer.

Con Man: tell your mom I'm sorry and that I keep meaning to call her but stuff keeps coming up.

@YJ - Cruel man... Funny as fuck, but still cruel... ;-)

@ Thucy: "Dude I can't believe you think polyamory is a-ok but you think a i-dont-know-your-name 1 night stand isn't

at least in the latter no one gets hurt"

Who gets hurt by polyamory?

(Reposting in the hope of getting an explanation from Thucy of his comment above)

@Jamiet99uk - well if you were having like a three-(or-more)-some and one of you accidentally got knocked out of the bed as a result of poor body arrangement and injured their coccyx, that might count.

Or how about: We know how much two people who love each other can and do hurt each other with words and actions all the time. How much more likely is someone to get hurt in a relationship that has more than one person in it?

Not that I have anything against either polyamory or one-night-stands, so long as all parties involved are honest with each other about what is going on.

Exactly, SGrabowski. Everyone involved must be honest and open with each other. That's vital to the success of any polyamorous set-up. But it seems to me that Thucy's comment suggests that he feels that poly relationships are *inherently* likely to hurt at least one of the participants. I would like to see him explain why this must be the case.

My old housemate and his ex-girlfriend were polyamorous. It worked well for a few years but then it got complicated.

Oh it certainly has the capacity to become complicated, yes, but that's not necessarily a bad thing...

Jamiet:

Maybe you dont think or your partner will be hurt by polyamory, and if you dont, im gld for you

But I know and I think you know that plenty of people try it or think they can do it but they cant and it warps their mind

i know myself that if i loved a girl i wouldnt be able to stand the thought of her giving it up to someone else.

it begs the question - what does he have i dont?

and it works both ways - this isnt some kind of male possession complex.

so thats how people get hurt in polyamory. the chances tht one of the 2+ people involved arent going to like the whole non exclusivity thing is really high.

at least when you do a ONS you know that there is consent. i admit maybe the person is with someone else, but you cant be expected to ask her that - its her whos being horrible to her bf

so no they do not *necessarily* hurt people
but they have a really good chnce of doing so

just like if i play with fire in my house there is good chance i will burn it down on accident

or maybe im just projecting but it is very hard for me at least to imagine ever being okay with the idea.

i would never suggest it because she would be enough for me, and if she suggested it my first thought would be why am i not enough

youre not one of those bullshit "humans werent made for monogamy" types