Yeah, CM. You say that now... give yourself a few years. Believe me, when a pretty girl has her tongue down your throat and is grinding up on your business, you're not going to be intellectualizing this shit. :)

Just don't go through life fearful. As the man said, carpe the goddamn diem.

I turn 31 tommorrow and prefer LTRs myself.

@Jack: Who said anything about being fearful? I just don't think it's a good idea to stick your penis into someone you don't know.
And why can't you seize the day by asking someone out on a date, rather than asking them to have sex? Just saying.......

Though I would like to add that I'm coming around to the idea of casual hookups (i.e. regularly hooking up with the same person) if you know the girl well enough to know you don't want to actually date her, or perhaps as an early form of dating to see if you like the girl. But I still think one-night stands with people you don't know is a bad idea.

@CM - Go find the song called "Dirty Girl" by Fisher. It's all about the one night stand.

And why exactly do I need to do this, Draugnar?

It's a good song and tells the story of theone night stand from his point of view *and* from hers. There's nothing profane in it and it isn't some offensive music. Fisher is kind of like Sheryl Crow.

Is it pro-one night stand or anti-one night stand?

Neither... It's "honest" one night stand. Here's the lyrics.

I had your name
in my head with "Mrs." on it
You had no clue what
mine was but did not care
I came looking
for the mate of my soul you were
out looking for someone just for the night

So here I go again, Dirty Girl, lay me down
Pleased to meet you
There you go, now you know a dirty girl
Pleased to leave me
Oh, don't say good-bye

I fell asleep
to the sound of your heart beating
But I woke up when
you asked me to please leave
You said "Nothing personal - it's impossible"
You can't fall asleep
with a girl you don't know...well, Ah hell

Here I go again, Dirty Girl, lay me down
Pleased to meet you
There you go, now you know a Dirty Girl
Pleased to leave
You always say good-bye
Why do they always say good-bye?

Walking home - 4 a.m. - once again...

Here I go again, Dirty Girl, lay me down
Pleased to meet you
There you go, now you know a Dirty Girl
Pleased to leave
You always say good-bye
Why do they always say good-bye?

I'm walking, in the rain
With my shoes in my hand
I look stupid in a cocktail dress at ten AM
And I cant get a cab
Have you seen my shoe?
I'll call you

What a devastatingly depressing song.

But it's got a catchy little tune. It's from their two disc set, Uppers and Downers. One CD is the Uppers with songs like a cover of L-O-V-E plus a ton of original stuff and the other is Downers with the previous song and an incredible cover of Dream On.

Never the less...

It seems pretty anti-one night stand to me......

And devastatingly depressing, as invictus said. I find it hard to believe any guy would treat a girl like that. I know I wouldn't.

I think there's a difference between wanting to hook up with a gal than dating. Dating takes time and effort, hooking up, not so much, just as much instant gratification.

My point is that the song points out how ladies sometimes make the mistake of jumping into bed cause they think the guy could be Mr. Right when most one night stand guys are just looking to get laid.

Which is why I'm not a one night stand guy. I want more than just sex.

@CM

And there's nothing wrong with that; you have to do what works for you. It just might be hard to tell what you want, being so young and having no experience.

@abge: Yes, I really have no idea what I want. The only thing I'm sure of is that I don't want to use women for sex.

@CM

Well, that makes you a better person than most men.

I find it very sad that most men are fine with using women

I think that characterization of men is completely unfair. There are plenty of women who will use people to get sex, and plenty of men who are looking for more and end up getting hurt.

Bear in mind though, male/female relations are in no way my area of expertise, as it were.

"I find it very sad that most men are fine with using women"

I think you're also missing a huge point that WOMEN are also fine with one night stands. It's just as unfair to classify all women as naive about what to expect from a one night stand, just as much as classifying guys as horn dogs who just want sex.

If you can find a mate who wants what you do then no harm no foul. Only when the expectations don't match is there a problem, but if it is consensual on both sides, then you won't have a girl writing a song about how they are sad after a one night stand.

And to clarify, not all women are fine with it, but there is a large amount that also enjoy casual sex just as some men do.

"I think you're also missing a huge point that WOMEN are also fine with one night stands."

I completely agree. But CM is still a better man than most for not thinking of women as sex objects.

I agree that objectifying women is wrong, however, there is a huge difference between objectifying and wanting to go out and find a girl to have sex with.

I was reading The Game by Neil Strauss and it touched on this issue a bit. An awesome read if you wanna up your swag ;)

I don't know about that, abgemacht. Conservative Man has been very frank that he isn't all that, how shall I put this, experienced in these matters. The test of whether you're a good guy is how you are when opportunities present themselves, not just saying words.

"Conservative Man has been very frank that he isn't all that, how shall I put this, experienced in these matters."

Again, he's 14 years old. I'm surprised at the level of graphic attention this thread has received.