How many Stalinists would it have taken to change a light bulb during the first 5 year plan?





None, for if the light bulb needed changing then comrade Stalin -- the most wonderous man alive and the embodiment of all that we Marxist-Leninist-Stalinists hold dear and aspire to -- would have forseen the fact that the lightbulb needed changing and so organised the 5 year plan to replace the lightbulb before it needed changing from the vast stock of lightbulbs which the plan had produced -- stocks in excess of the amount originally planned, for the workers were inspired by their love of Stalin and the Socialist Motherland to work harder and produce more, using less!

I love people making fun of Dadaists. Keep it up.

hey if you're bored one day look up "the super happy anarcho fun pages"




what did everyone say to the dadaist?

you suck

I dont have a prostate gland, because I'm an anarchist its an antistate gland

Why did the dyslexic anarchist try to have sex with a toilet?




He wanted to fuck the cistern.

Polish joke!

A Guy walks into a bar, sits downs and starts to make conversation with guy at next table. "Want to hear the world's worst Polish Joke?" The other guy says "Sure, but before you tell it, let me tell you something. See those two bikers over there by the door, those tow real mean-looking dudes? They're Polish. And those two bouncers by the bar? They're Polish too! The Bartender is also Polish! And one more thing pal, I'm Polish too... Now, do you still want to tell that joke of yours?" "Hell no!", replies the first guy, "I don't want to have to explain it six times!"

I like american jokes they tell in poland.

like 'how can you tell if its midnight at an american airport? the 5 o clock flight is landing"

"whats brown, hums, sits on your windowsill, then dies 91 days after you get it? an american air conditioner with 90 day warranty"

I really like self critical anarchist jokes, like this one

"How do you know you're an anarchist?


All of your clothes are black and all of your friends are white."

What do you get if you cross a situationist with a mafioso?



A guy who makes you an offer you can’t understand.

If you had a choice between saving a cop from drowning in a raging river or taking a Pulitzer prize-winning photograph, which shutter speed would you use?

If you had a choice between saving a cop from drowning in a raging river or taking a Pulitzer prize-winning photograph, which shutter speed would you use?

Lil' Johnny goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way. I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me Capitalism. Mommy is the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you The People. The nanny, well, consider her The Working Class. Your baby brother, we'll call him The Future. Now go think about this and see if it makes sense."

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying and runs to his room only to find that his diapers are very soiled. So the little boy goes to his parents' room. Mom is sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he looks through the peephole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand what politics is now."

"Good son, tell me in your own words then what politics are."

The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is fucking the Working Class, the government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit."

Sic, I looked up that comic, read the first two issues. Hilarious.

I know I think its a riot

;]



k someone else take over for awhile

Two Russians apparatchiks are walking in the Kremlin. The first looks to the other and says "Comrade, do you think we will ever live to see the full realization of communism?" The second turns to him and says, "No my friend, we will not live long enough to see communism, but our children... poor children."

I'm going to admit that most of these jokes are copied from websites, but I've told some of them in real life and they kill.

A traveling salesman has an audience with the Pope and, not quite knowing what to say tries to break the ice with a joke... "Have you heard the one about the two Polish priests, Holy Father?"

"But I am Polish, my son."

There followed a pregnant pause while the salesman thought quickly ... "That's OK, Holy Father, I'll tell you it slowly."





A Polish man was suffering from constipation, so his doctor prescribed suppositories. A week later the Pole complained to the doctor that they didn't produce the desired results.

"Have you been taking them regularly?" the doctor asked.

"What do you think I've been doing," the Pole said, "Shoving them up my ass?"



Q: What is long and hard that a Polish bride gets on her wedding
night?
A: A new last name.


Q: What do you get if you integrate around Europe?
A: Zero. Because there are no poles in Europe.
Actually, there are some Poles in Europe, but they're removable.




Question: How many Poles does it take to kidnap a child?

Answer: 12. One to kidnap the child and the remaining 11 to write a ransom letter.

Why do girls were make up and perfume?

Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

because they are insecure and truly ugly, lol?

How many christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Ten. One to change the lightbulb, four for the Light Bulb Changing Commission and five to criticize the commission.


How many evangelicals does it take to change a lightbulb?

Ten. One to change it and nine to pray against darkness.


A priest is walking in the woods on a beautiful afternoon. Suddenly he hears a sound. A bear is stumbling upon his path. He turns around and starts running. Just before the end of the forest, he trips over a branch and falls. The bear approaches... the priest points his eyes to the heavens. 'Please Lord, make this bear a christian!' At that moment the bear falls on his knees, saying: 'Thank you Lord for this supper.'

Back to the dead babies....

What's the difference between a truck full of dead babies and a truck full of bowling balls?

You can't unload bowling balls with a pitchfork.

What do you get if you cross a Jehovah's Witness with a Hells Angel Bikie?

Someone who knocks at your door and tells you to fuck off!

Several Russians are in their barracks in a Siberian gulag when a new face shows up. Excited, they immediately begin crowding him and asking him questions.

"How long are you in for?" they ask.

"Ten years," the man sobs.

"And what did you do?"

"Nothing. I did nothing...."

"Liar!" an older prisoner shouts. "For nothing, you get only five years!"

Sicarious was going to anarchist convention and he read a sign that said Anarchist convention left, so he went home.

what?

ok I got another,

Sicarious, Pandarsenic, and diplofool all died and were standing at the pearly gates when god said to them, he who can not laugh at 1000 jopkes can get in to heaven they all said ok and went stone faced.

Pandarsenic went first and got trhough 128 jokes before breaking down into laughter, sicarious got through 666 before he bursted as well.Last diplofool got all the way to 999 jokes before rolling over laughing. God said to him, "why are you laughing I haven't even said the last joke?" Diplofool responded, "oh man, I just got the first one!"

i think this is turning from "Sword Jokes" to "The Sicarious Daily Police/Government Rant...With Jokes Included"


but anyway....

Q. How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
A. Rearranged the furniture.

Q. How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her?
A. They put a plunger in the toilet.

Q. Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away?
A. You would too if your name was MRAWRMM!!

Here's a 1980s joke for those of you who were alive back then in ancient times (I was, unfortunately):

A prostitute has a birthmark on one her inner thighs. For fun, she decides to get a tatoo of Mikhail Gorbatchov to fit the birthmark. For balance, she also gets a tatoo of Ronald Reagan on the opposing thigh. She tells her customers that they get a free ride if they can name both of the depicted persons.

Her first customer is a Russian. He recognizes Gorbie, but not Ronnie. Hence, he pays for his stay.

Next comes an American. He recognizes Ronnie, but not Gorbie. He pays as well.

Her next customer is German. He looks at the two tatoos for a while then says: I don't know who the two guys on the sides are, but the one in the middle with the curly red hair and big lips, that's Boris Becker.

Dude I have a bunch of racist jokes... I dunno how appropriate they are though

I have more sicarious jokes.

How many anachists does it take to tell a joke?

One, with google