I bothered to tell this whole website my personal business. I felt like I should practice better will power. Not that you all wanna share in my doubts/temptations

If the AA group you went to didn't fit well. Look for another. There are all types. The ones that are filled with court ordered people might not be the best ones. There are ones for professionals.

Find one that can help show you the test for alcoholism.

You also need to find something positive. Sobriety must be about positive activities.

Its just hard in a blizzard lol. Sorry guys, really, I appreciate the advice. I will play some video games. Im making coffee too

Like I go for walks downtown. Id hang out with Sara but shes across town and would need me to drive bevause shes been drinking wine

BB (and everyone who gave him shit about nearly relapsing), I almost said this to you at the beginning but I didn't want to drag you down. Most people need more than one try to quit a habit, alcohol included. You made a good choice not drinking tonight. If you make a bad choice one day, it doesn't mean you're done quitting...you reset your clock and do it again. And everyone here trying to be supportive, piling on guilt and shame does not help people break addiction. You can be sure that anybody who has given in to an addiction they are trying to break doesn't need your help to feel bad. If someone falls while they're marching, help them get up and get back on the road.

BB, you're doing great. If you don't live in a small town you should be able to find multiple AA meetings. In addition to the support they give you something to do, which is helpful. And I can tell you that I'd rather hear about your doubts and temptation than read drunken rants.

For sure. I quit in 2011 for 133 days. Ive quit for lent multiple times. Its not that I am an alcoholic. It is that I just simply wanna treat my mind better.

I suppose it is possible my drinking is associated with external factors more than chemical. Nobody in my family is alcoholic really on either side.

I dont mind if people judge me or offer advice. Im annoying, they probably didnt think id make it a week let alone 2

If you're not an alcoholic, that would be very good. If you went to an AA meeting, and they gave you the book titled "Alcoholics Anonymous", you might want to read it. It's got a lot of good information for everyone, not just alcoholics. If not, you can stop by and see if you can buy one.

BB luv you stay true to your self

I read it. I read addiction quotes regularly. I especially like the ones about people changing their goals to match their addictions. Thats a differential.

I change my habits to make my goals possible. I havent smoked pot in several months so I can have a better job for example.

I do appreciate what you are saying. Alot of alcoholism is about control and powerlessness in the face of their problem.

I got offered a 1.50$ raise today after only being at this job 3 weeks.

Did you read Forward and the Doctors opinion? They are important to read, but they are often skipped because they are before the first chapter.

Honestly I have a copy somewhere. I havent read it in ages but I remember the bit about it not mattering how long you go, that the moment a drink hits your lips.. ect

Just to play devils advocate guys, AA only has a 5% recovery rate anyway. Not saying thats a bad number but its a bit of a cop out to direct every horse to a stable.

If it's been a while, and your struggling right now, it might not be a bad idea to find it and read it again. It's helped tens of thousands of people, probably more. But, realize, it's not a read it and its done kind of book. It's a roadmap for recovery that needs to be followed, not just read.

Also, the test for alcoholism is also worthwhile to take. Or at least knowing what the test is. AA is really for people who pass (or fail, depending on your perspective) the test of alcoholism.

The problem with the AA recovery statistics are that there are a lot of court ordered people who have no desire to recover.

I am able to have 1 drink and not need more. I dont need one everyday. Ive never been like that. I did however stop practicing good self control for a while

I dont romanticize drinking. Especially after dating someone who had a terrible dark side to her. I didnt know that was real. I feel motivated to abstain as a result

I dont think she will ever get better. I was quitting for her to try to lead by example.

If you hadnt figured me out by now my real issue is impulse control, whether its mafia, drinking, my forum spamming, or whatever it is. Its poor self discipline is all

The bottom line: it only works for those who want it not for those who need it

For meetings and the program: I came; I came to: I came to believe.

That doesn't sound too bad. It sounds like you still have hope you can control it on your own. And if you can, great!

But, if it get's worse, AA does have a solution. It does work for people who truly want to recover from a hopeless state of mind. Provided they work all the steps.

And no you won't be "recovering" for the rest of your life. You can be "recovered". (If the AA group insists you can't be recovered, find another group.)

Agreed. I prayed for her but I doubt she has the willpower to make a change. Shes almost 5 months into her probation and still gets wasted.

I believe in myself, I have beer and champagne in my fridge. After this week, the temptation was/is there. Id rather just chat with intellectuals on here.

If im gonna have a drink Id like it to be me having friends over or maybe a date with a new girlfriend. Or something where itd be shameless.