Chapter 12
Most children at some stage of their lives have played ‘doctors and nurses’. This is perfectly natural and isn’t regarded as a felony providing no operations, amputations or internal examinations are performed. A blind eye is turned to adults who engage in doctor and nurse games in the privacy of their own home, again providing no operations or amputations are performed; internal examines are now permitted. It is a felony, however, to impersonate a medical professional in a hospital. That said, this crime is mostly ignored as the hospital administrators welcome the additional unpaid staff. It only really causes problems when the impostor starts killing the patients. Turkey would probably have known the statistical likelihood of been murdered in a hospital. If he did know he never got to tell anyone.
Turkey had a knack for forward planning. He had imagined his own death and had written his own obituaries which would be released upon his demise. The obituary written to announce his death on the webDip forum read as follows:
“Dear Kestas, zultar, mods, fellow diplomats, masterminds, members, casual players and political puppets of webDip,
It is with great sadness and regret that I have to announce my real life death. It is said that nobody ever died wishing they had worked harder, I don’t know if people die wishing they had played less, but I, for one, don’t regret a single second playing with you guys. You are my second family. The only difference to my real family is that I spent more time with you guys and communicated far more. I know that in our time together each of you has probably spoken behind my back, plotted my downfall and stabbed me in the back. But I also know you have done it with enthusiasm and vigour and that gladdens my heart. I have learnt a lot about the world from my interactions with the site. There was a time I knew nothing about European history and now I bore the few remaining friends I have relaying details of the 1901-1913 era. I have also been fortunate enough to be guided by yourselves about personal matters I raised in the forum. How to kiss, how to hit on my best friend’s girl, which drugs to experiment with and you also expanded my knowledge of exotic fruit and veg.
I hope I am remembered, fondly or otherwise.”
Turkey read it back to himself, brushed away a tear stain and promptly burnt it. Not because of the oxymoron in line 1, but because he realised that upon his death his real family would grieve, how could he also inflict this on his second family? He hoped his passing would go unnoticed, perhaps other players would wonder if he had joined another site or given up the game completely. His final act of kindest to his friends would be to spare them knowledge of his death.
One webDip player did know about his demise. He had tracked the IP address of his last post and was given his room number by the hospital reception who fell for his line about being his brother. He was now exiting a side bathroom and wondering down the corridor to his room with some grapes. He introduced himself at the door only to be told the terrible news that he was 20 minutes too late.
No one could trace the fake doctor and the hospital reasoned that it would only hurt the family if they were aware of the circumstances, so decided to sweep the matter under the carpet.
Whilst this was, of course, a terrible turn of events. A new player would be drafted in soon and the game could recommence without a pause.
To be continued…
Anyone up for a Modern game?
, anon, FP, WTA, 38 hours left to fill 7 spaces.
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