*scorned not scoured

Chapter 7

Why have self-control, when you can control others?

The only player happy with the country he had been allocated was Germany and this probably had something to do with the fact he had allocated it to himself as well as divvying up the other nations. Some time ago he had cracked the webDip code armed only with a smart phone and the Guinness Book of Favourite Pet Names. Here was a player that just had to test all the rules. The website had few rules, it resembled what the Wild West would have looked like if had of descended into anarchy. But Germany had managed to break every rule that existed several times and was now hiding from the omnipresent mods by routing his connection via Tor and the darkweb which even the CIA couldn’t trace. Germany knew who each of his opponents were, where they lived, what they eat for breakfast and more importantly what their mothers’ maiden names were. He had access to everyone’s account should he choose to spy on them. He would use this power sporadically so as not to alert his prey to the power he wielded. When he used his power it would usually be the final act when he was going in for the kill.

It never occurred to him that this gave him an unfair advantage. War was unfair and when you fought war you had a duty to win it by any means possible. People often hated how far warmongers would go to protect their country, but they were also really glad they were on their side. Germany’s real life job was surrounded in mystery, even those that knew him best could not have guessed that he worked at McDonalds. He would employ counter surveillance techniques on his way to work each day and became a master of disguise. He had once served his own wife and kids at the drive-through and none of them had batted an eyelid. His family thought he was in the secret service, they also thought he was an ex-navy seal. Everyone on webDip had been sold on this story, it was just so believable. Anyone who did question the veracity of the story soon disappeared from webDip. Whether or not they also disappeared from real life, no one really knew.

Germany played diplomacy on a level other players didn’t even know existed. Whilst they played with him, he toyed with them. His solo was all but assured prior to the first move, he could read any press he chose and would have foresight of every move made. He could disrupt an individual’s internet feed or attack the website at will. But he could do more than that; he could affect real life situations. He could tap into the traffic light system in Birmingham to prevent a player being home in time to finalise orders. He could distract Austria by inventing spurious matches on her dating site. He could manipulate the webDip data mine to fool Turkey and he could, with very little effort, play on England’s paranoia and get him to attack his allies.

In short Germany could control every aspect of the game.

Could no one stop his seemingly irresistible quest for European domination?

To be continued…

I now really want to play a game with your cast.

Please.... Don't.... Stop...

5 bucks that germany will win.

Seriously though, these are awesome, please keep going.

The only reason Tas would want to play with that cast is if he is secretly Germany.
Which makes sense cos he has read every single move I have made in my game with him - so I am not being entirely facetious also :)
Maniac, I am really interested to see how far you take this - as in, how many chapters you keep the storyline going. This is, as has been said 100 times before - fascinating stuff - please blog this somewhere :)

@Tasica and KingCyrus - thx for your continued support

@TVrocks - Germany is currently 1-3F but please check with you local state regulator as betting on the outcome of fictitious webDiplomacy games is banned in some jurisdictions.

@Shadow - I really have no idea how far this will go, it's kind of developed a life of its own. I will try not to disappoint.

I wish I could +5 these chapters; which is impossible. But to make up for it, I will +1 each of your post on this thread Maniac.

Lol thx Balrog - I note you even +1'd my typos, now that's a real fan. Probably won't have time to write a chapter today.

Maniac, that thar is some gud riting. Hilarious! When this story comes to a close I think we need to have an invitational and set the game up with the characters, as best the community can match them up. Germany will of course have to be the one to do this... Keep 'em coming!

LOL at Austria rebooting her computer in Chpt 6

Very Short Stories, pt. 1

TO AUSTRIA, FROM ITALY, 7:01 PM: Would you like to try a Key Double Western Alpine Switch-hog Doubleback Lepanto Southern Hedgehog Bluff?

7:06 PM: Austria moves Tri - Adr, Bud - Tri, Vie - Tyr

bump

Chapter 8

Make Love – Not War.

Italy read through Austria's tirade with a smile. Most of what she suggested wasn’t legal in any jurisdiction save Guantanamo Bay and some of the things suggested hadn’t been tried since the Spanish Inquisition. He smiled because he now knew who was playing Austria and thought he might be able to love bomb her into doing his bidding. A plan formed in his head which entailed flying tonight to Colorado, orchestrating a chance meeting with Austria, plying her with a little alcohol and getting her to agree to help him conquer Europe. He could tell his wife it was an urgent business trip and he would be back within 24 hrs. What could possibly go wrong?

He had met Austria briefly at a F2F tournament a few years previous and had taken her business card so knew where she lived and had her mobile number. With a little help from a friend inside the FBI he was able to narrow his search down to the local Wal-Mart. He found her in the pizza isle and approached her with “Don’t I know you?” She recognised him straight away but pretended she didn’t. This wasn’t the first time a webDip player had ‘accidently bumped into her’ and she knew exactly how to reel them in. She wasn’t sure which country this guy was playing or even which game he was in, but she was going to find out.

Before long she had allowed him to buy her a few drinks, a pizza and two pudding and was inviting him in for a nightcap. Italy hadn’t intended to betray his marital vows, but he’d had a few drinks, and this woman was coming onto him strong. He resisted right up to the point that she suggested they do it on the diplomacy board. This had been a fantasy of his for a while, and one that his wife wouldn't countenance. As their passion grew he reasoned that many powerful European alliances throughout history had been sealed this way and his guilt subsided. As they was finishing, he looked down and noticed Austria’s arse was covering all thirty-four supply centres. Austria had swept the pieces from the board prior to their lovemaking but a little fleet had found its way into her butt-crack and this just seemed to add to the sensation.

Once the act was over Italy, perhaps a little too prematurely, suggested his preferred moves now they were allies. Austria was waiting for this. She said she could be persuaded to follow Italy’s plan but she wanted something in return. Italy asked what she had in mind. Austria didn’t respond but opened her thighs a little and gently pushed Italy’s head lower. This was whole new territory for Italy, he wasn’t experienced at such things but something told him it wasn’t going to taste like a creampie. Austria sensed his hesitation. “I’ll do anything you want after.” Italy took a deep breath, closed his eyes and thought of Italy.

The following morning he awoke to find Austria making him breakfast. He could get used to this. She then dropped the bombshell that she’d had a change of heart and wanted to pursue another plan altogether. Italy started to protest. Austria walked over to the bed and started fondling Italy’s manhood. She started to massage his testicles and then much to Italy’s delight lowered her head over his tip. Austria had studied diplomacy for some time and had taken some advice too literally including Nixon’s famous quote. “Grab them by the balls and their hearts and mind will follow.”

As Italy enjoyed his bliss he thought he probably wasn’t the first guy who had underestimated a woman only to have her hand him his ass. Austria knew he also wouldn’t be the last.

To be continued…

Thx Benjamin Franklin and Ag7433 for you comments.

I'm not sure about chapter 8 so will re-write if feedback suggests I've taken the wrong path.

Please +1 here if you think Chapter 8 needs a re-write

I think that this definitely takes the game in a new direction, but so long as you don't go into too much detail, it should be fine. I do like the idea of taking more drastic "real life" actions to win the game as the story goes on. The real question is...would this be considered metagaming?

I think that metagaming is going to be the least of the concerns of the characters of this hilarious story.

Okay, guys, I’m going to try my hand at a fanfic of my own, based on a previous Fall of the American Empire game I played as Mexico.
Chapter 1- And so it Begins

The long trip by armored jeep to Dallas would have bored him if so many things hadn't happened in the past few months. It was almost too much for an ADD brain like his to handle; the United States had disintegrated into a cluster of five nation-states, Canada had followed suit when Quebec seceded, and he had been catapulted to the position of president of Mexico under martial law in the ensuing political turmoil. The way society used to work had come to a grinding halt, which had been exemplified when his escort had crossed the once-fortified Mexican-American border with ease. He could barely even remember how it had happened. That didn’t matter now; He had been called to a meeting with the leaders of two other nations, Texas and the newly formed conglomerate of states that went by the name “Heartland” to discuss terms of an alliance.

The jeep jerked erratically as it stopped before the Sheraton Hotel. He would have to remember to hire a new driver when he got back to Mexico. His current one was just too… impulsive for him.

The hotel was certainly impressive. It stood 42 stories high, and was flanked by two shorter buildings, as though they were guards, on either side. All three of them were sharply rectangular, and were solid metal on the shorter sides, but had windows on the longer portion. The windows were a light blue, reflecting the current state of the sky. As he walked closer to the building, flanked by his own two guards, he entered its shadow. The thing stretched higher than anything he had ever seen- even though there were a few towers taller than it in Mexico City, he hadn't seen them. His military base of operations was a hacienda slightly north of the Mexican Capital. The sheer massiveness of the building made him understand the name skyscraper for the first time; the thing truly did touch the sky. He walked into the monolithic tower’s cold embrace, ready to meet his new associates.

The interior of the building was exactly like he’d expected it to be. Like most American hotels, the Lobby had walls that were painted varying shades of browns, and a pattern of circles that decorated the carpet. The color scheme gave it an almost rustic feel, but the architecture and overall design was obviously modern. Maybe twenty feet from the door were three comfortable-looking chairs, arranged in a triangle. Two of them were occupied by the people that he’d be discussing terms with for the next few hours, each with their own two guards behind them; two was the number that had been predetermined before the meeting. He sat in the third chair, and the other two leaned forward.

“I hope I’m not too late, amigos. I wouldn’t want to start off on the wrong foot with either of you,” he spoke, before the Texan or Heartlandish president could begin. “Anyways, I know neither of your names. The events leading up to this point left the leadership of our respective countries a little bit, ah, shall we say, muddled. I’m Axél Rivera, president of Mexico.” The other two nodded.

“Well, I’m Jonathan Paynter,” said the man in the chair to his left. “President of Texas.” The Texan president had a deep southern-american accent. He was dressed like the other two, in a simple black tuxedo, and had a thick red beard.

“And I’m Nathaniel Davis,” the president of the Heartland spoke last. Axél shared a momentary glance with the man. Unbeknownst to President Paynter, a meeting between the other two had taken place two days before. They had decided to lure Texas into a treaty before crushing him between their two armies. They now sat mere inches away from the man they were soon to backstab.

“So, gentlemen,” Axél started, “shall we begin?”

I'd like feedback; this is the first thing I've ever written that'll be read publicly. I want to know what you guys think- is there anything horribly wrong with it? Is it boring? Should I continue it? Would you rather just hear Maniac's story?

Oh, King, your words flow smoothly, indeed. Corniness aside, it is enjoyable and I want to hear more! The tuxedos have me intrigued. Fall of the American Empire is a great map for such a tale. Thanks for sharing.

And Maniac... WTF? I was reading this while sitting in a Christmas Cantata waiting for the music to start and guffawed out loud (seemingly spontaneously) during the reading. The story is unique in that some of the players are fucked before they even start the game! I can't wait to find out, does Italy have the balls to screw her a second time on the gameboard - this time from a distance? Does Austria find the fleet in her canal of Kneel? Does France enter for a menage-a-trois? And poor England... just out there on his own wishing he could get some action without having to travel so far.... Keep it up!

@king - you have stated well and I look forward to reading more. To answer your questions specifically, you have done nothing wrong, it isn't boring and you should definitely continue. +1 my friend.

Thx for feedback Vask, Tasnica and Benjamin Franklin. You are right Tasnica that meta gaming will be least of concerns going forward. Ben a ménage-a-trios seems apt with France sure I could write that in.

I love the idea of fanfics for maps other than Classic. Though woe betide anyone who tries to tackle the World map...

Also, I might start a less diplomacy oriented stort soon, and will be asking for feedback.

Chapter 9

Few people understood exactly how the world’s economy worked and even fewer knew why it had collapsed in 2008. Fortunately the man tasked with writing a congressional report into the collapse knew exactly why it had collapsed and his report didn’t make for pretty reading. It was all the fault of TheGhostMaker (Ghost for short). Ghost had devised a system that ranked WebDip players. His monthly updates were keenly awaited by the webDip community and were regarded as the gold standard for comparing players’ abilities. This league table had been adopted by an underground Malaysian betting cartel that ran a book on each player’s next month’s position. Many gamblers who participated knew nothing about the game itself but that was not important to them; the Ghost Ratings were underground and therefore tax exempt unlike betting on football, horses or the stock exchange. The betting exchange became so popular that with two years it was estimated that 72% of the world’s illegal money was been funnelled through it. The cartel expanded to include betting on individual games and took all currencies including bitcoins. The players themselves were completely unaware of the betting industry they were supporting and this in itself became a selling point. The cartel wouldn’t have to sponsor teams or players so their profits increased exponentially. A bubble was starting to form.

Like all markets the Ghost Rankings depended on confidence and that confidence took a battering in February 2008. Ghost had bought a new computer and had some compatibility issues transferring his database across. The rankings were to be delayed. Delays were not uncommon, but this delay jilted the market. Soon a run on the cartel took hold and the various bookmakers had to start selling off their other assets in order to meet their commitments. The rapid sell triggered automated sell positions across the global stock markets. Gold, oil and currencies all fell and the fall just fed another fall and then another. Soon banks were failing and confidence evaporated.

All of this was traced by the guy tasked to explain the crisis, but it was so frightening to congress that his report was pulped and he was later found dead after suffering a lawn-mower accident. The world had come to accept an economy based on shiny metals and million year-old dead trees. It wasn’t ready to accept the truth; gambling supported everything.

Germany was one of the few players who was aware of this clandestine industry and had made a few bucks himself in the past. He had now decided to place a huge bet on himself to win this nosebleed game. It wasn’t even gambling as, to him, the result was a shoe in.

It was shortly after placing his bet that Germany made his first mistake. He took a sneaky peek at every players’ press. He wasn’t over concerned about anything that had been written, but he left a little tell-tale sign of his presence which England picked up on immediately. England meticulously recorded when he accessed his account and noticed on his next signing on that someone else had been on. He was only playing one game so he knew which game had been compromised. He posted the same message to all his fellow players, “Comms compromised, going dark.” All the others players knew what this meant. In a game where no one could be trusted, they couldn’t even trust themselves to speak. From this point on the game would be played as a gunboat and orders entered within the last few minutes of the deadline to prevent spies gaining an insight. Germany had given away one of his major advantages. Suddenly his bet wasn’t looking quite so assured.

England dug out his doomsday survival kit and headed out into the woods, leaving his mobile phone behind. He would enter future orders on public computers vowing to only use a computer once and to keep moving. His perpetual planning since the age of eight was about to be tested.

To be continued…

Chapter 10

It takes a lot of money to run a free site. There are hosting fees and the like. It was resolved early on not to accept any advertising and the site was funded by the kind donations of its members. Up until now the site had never sold its members data. However, the amount offered by an anonymous buyer to disclose who was in the nosebleed game was just too much to refuse. The site suspected it was one of the players in the game, but decided to turn a blind eye. Surely selling data for seven individuals couldn’t do any harm?

Four hours later and Russia was being bundled into the back of a black Proton by two burly Asian looking bodyguards. When these guys were given their task of kidnapping they worried that they might develop a Helsinki complex and empathise with their captive. They shouldn’t have worried. Russia’s incessant talking on the way to meet the goon’s controller was giving them both a headache and he was lucky to arrive without a bullet wound to the back of his neck. Russia had no idea who his captors were. He worked in a bookstall and attended evening classes. Sure he had criticised the Islamic State and Hamas in the past on the webDip forum but surely there were better kidnap targets?

Upon arrival at the aircraft hangar Russia was dragged out of the car and hauled before the head honcho who had just picked up a passing stray cat. This was fortuitous as nothing scared people more than someone stroking a cat. This scared people far more than pointing a gun at them or starting up a chainsaw. He came straight to the point. “You’re playing a high stacks diplomacy game as Russia.” It wasn’t a question, but Russia thought he ought to answer. “Yes.” He mind was reeling, ‘was this about a game?’ The head guy continued. “I don’t care if you win or lose, but you must sabotage Germany’s chances of success.”

“Must I?” said Russia. The very idea was preposterous. He couldn’t go into a game with a preconceived notion to team up against one player – that would be cheating, something he had never done. He viewed webDip and its members as his family – he wouldn’t betray them no matter what these thugs were going to do to him.

“For this we will give you five thousand dollars.”

“Just to be clear, we’re talking U.S. dollars?” queried Russia.

“Indeed we are. Half now and half when Germany loses.”

Russia thought for a few seconds before accepting, after all it is only a game. “Again, just to be clear. If I hold up my side of the bargain, you’re not going to kill me or anything?”

“No, WE’RE not going to kill you.” If the head honcho was a betting man, (which he was) he’d wager that Russia wouldn’t see the end of the game.

To be continued…