What does the Groves dictionary say about Peter Pears?
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See under Benjamin Britten.

Thucydides: You copied that from an essay. What a stupid characterization, painting the Republican Party of that period as pacifist. What a joke!

Oh, I have a good one.

WE TOLD THEM THE WEALTH WOULD TRICKLE DOWN!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-AOJcORtEwU&list=UU6W7sUpLiNpkY4ysATRtevg&index=3&feature=plcp

I went to see my doctor the other day for a health check. He said I've 6 stone overweight and I scored 44% on my BMI ....... I didn't even revise !!

A homeless beggar came up to me with his hand outstretched saying, 'I need change, I need change' ....... I said 'it's not change you need, it's a routine'.

I took some work in a bakery the other day .......... I kneaded the dough !!

I spoke to my ex-wife the other day and she'd love to have me back ...... it's just me front she can't stand.
I asked her how the children were, she said 'we didn't have any', that was our main problem, we never communicated.
I told her I was still missing her ....... I'm having a problem with the sights on my rifle !!

So this mushroom tries to get into a nightclub, but the bouncer won't let him in. "Sorry, we don't want none of your type in here." The mushroom replies, "Aww, come on! I'm a fun guy."

I went for a meal last night with the mushroom brothers ........ they're fun guys.
I asked the waiter what the Venison was like .......he said 'It's deer'.
I ordered a seafood platter and they ate all of the crabs, all of the prawns, all of the lobsters ....... that's just shellfish !!

I was standing at the school gates the other day when I was approached by a teacher.
She said 'Are you expecting a child?'
I said 'no I'm just really overweight'.

My parents are so old-fashioned but you know how the adage goes 'if you can't beat them ........ poison them'.

a baby seal walks into a club.

http://blehmeng.tumblr.com/post/2504201167

haha

largeham: Are you that YouTube user?

I always thought that was krellin crying out for help.

YouTube?

http://www.youtube.com/user/webdip

Dilplomat1824 was a professor of aerodynamics and had a pilot's license.

Hahahaha Jamie. Wait, wasn't that The_Master_Warrior? Or were they the same person? Anyway I remember asking him what his master's thesis was on and he said it was "A Complete History of Aerodynamics: From the Montgolfier Brothers to the F14 Project". It was hilarious.

They were the same person, yes. I remember his "thesis" - as if anyone's PhD thesis could be on such a broad topic as the complete history of the aeroplane. He was an idiot.

Also I felt it would have been mean at the time to point out that the Montgolfier Brothers have nothing to do with aerodynamics; hot air balloons are aerostats. But now that he's not around I just wanted to point that out.

The_Master_Warrior was banned?

So Buddah walks up to a hot dog stand and he says, "Make me one with everything."

*Buddha

A rope walks into a bar. The bartender says to him, "Get out of here! We don't serve ropes here!"

So the rope heads out feeling all dejected, finds a tough guy and pays him to beat him up and tie him up in a knot.

The rope goes back into the bar all beaten and frayed. Bartender says "Didn't I tell you we don't serve ropes here!?" The rope replies, "Nope! I'm a frayed knot."

The captain of a pirate ship was standing on deck when one of his crew members informed him, “Captain there’s an enemy ship approaching!”

The captain replied, “Quick, bring me my red shirt!” The crew member went to the Captain’s cabin and brought his red shirt to him. The Captain then explained, “If I am wounded in battle the men won’t know, so they will keep on fighting.”

A moment later another crew member came and said, “Captain there are ten enemy ships approaching!” The Captain replied, “Quick, bring me my brown pants!”

From the movie, Buck

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other, "This taste funny to you?"