This is amazing. I will bump this thread as necessary.

Thx Tasina - I'm kinda blown away by the nice things you guys are saying about the first three chapters and you inspire me to continue.

*Tasnica

I don't think I know players well enough to identify them in the stories but this is great work :)
Keep it going!!

Maniac, when I started this thread, I expected it to be filled with funny stories of jmo and putin playing volleyball on the beach, krellin being elected to Congress and the escapades of the modfia. What you gave us was something amazing, that not just webdippers, but all diplomacy players can enjoy. To you I say +1 sir, +1 indeed.

Thanks shadow and Vash I just hope I haven't raised expectations, the rest of what I right might be crap.

*write

It isn't real fan fiction unless the time waiting for the next chapter increases exponentially with the final chapter never being posted at all. These regular high quality posts are all wrong.

Yeah, I really was not expecting genuinely entertaining pieces of writing when this thread started.

This is beautiful! The only thing that would make this better is Shrek...wait never mind. +1 to you, my good man! A well-earned +1 at that! (I loved the line "Mile for mile far more dangerous than aeroplanes even in the years that we allowed terrorists to fly them into buildings." That really gave me a good laugh. Thanks man!

My eye is twitching. I want more.

Great job Maniac

Well, we could have more than one storyline occurring at a time.

Maniac.... You write like a..... well..... Maniac

Brilliant!

Chapter 4

Cold War Part 2

Ah, the games afoot! Once more into the breach will he send his troops, or close up the wall with his Russian dead. To say he wasn’t delighted to be playing Russia was an underestimation on a scale that countries always underestimate how much the Olympics would cost. Every sinew of his existence hated Russia. The real Russia, not the purple blob on the diplomacy board, but this hatred was so all consuming that it spilled over into his game play. When seeing he was assigned Russia he even considered inviting the western powers to take over Ukraine so he could show his solidarity for the current occupants of Ukraine, and Crimea in particular, who were at present under the control of the Communist Oppressors.

There were only two things that he hated more than Russia and they were both called Putin. One was the Russian leader who had, in his eyes, risked the collapse of the Russian (and by extension the world) economy and nuclear war just so he could holiday in a nice little hotel on the Black Sea. The other was Putin who roamed the webDip forum and who tended to best him in any debate they engaged in, ranging from Gaza to world history to favourite pie fillings. On balance he hated the second Putin more and hoped he wasn’t in this game.

All this hatred for everything Russian (save Vodka) suddenly vanished to give way to a new hatred. A hatred of Turkey whom he noticed had finalised his orders without any communication whatsoever. How could this be? Surely they have to discuss a co-ordinated bounce in the Black sea (a move designed to ensure neither pieces move). This could only mean one thing, something so unimaginable that he had to rewind his mind to a time when his pillow case was his best friend called Sabastian and they played with the fairies who had landed from Mars in his back garden. Once his mind was rewound he could just about imagine the concept of what every diplomacy player secretly dreads – a non-talkie.

Diplomacy was created for people to talk to one another. This was how alliances were forged and beautiful friendships were lost forever. To play with someone who never spoke was a complete anathema to the game. He wondered how on earth a non-talkie had acquired enough points to buy in to this high stakes game. The ownership of the site had changed recently from that very nice man Kestas, all hail Kestas, to a new generation; a generation that people suspected might try to make the site commercially viable. Perhaps the new guy had sold off some diplomacy points to this non-talker playing Turkey? If so he would be writing a very long letter of compliant – but that could wait for a while. For now he would compose his treatises to all the other players. These would seek to cover every aspect of the game from before it was invented to planning what to do in the retreat phase of 1908. They would be completely undecipherable and as always he would end up getting killed off early by the other players just trying to shut him up – or he would win when all the other players lost the will to live.

At three in the morning after his last communique had been sent he kissed each of his limited edition Star Wars figures goodnight and snuggled down to a few hours’ sleep.

To be continued…

Thx Octavious, Yanksfan47, Ag7433, scholzlynx, KingCyrus and Tasnica for your kind words. You have no idea how much they mean to me and they encourage me to keep going until I hit the dreaded writers’ block.

I have a new idea for a fan fiction: A webdipper by the name of Maniac came to the forums and wrote an excellent story that everyone read.

And they all lived happily ever after. The end.

Oh, wait, that story's true.

Chapter 5

The Wine is in front of me.

Whilst their love of Diplomacy may have brought people to webDiplomacy it wasn’t the only thing that kept them there. The site had spawned a community where likeminded people could engage in the weighty issues of the day or discuss trivial events in minute detail. It was also a great place to buy cheap oil painting or engage in forum games such as Ankara Crescent or Mafia. The rules of Ankara Crescent are too lengthy to explain here. Those interested in the game might like to know that Sony are developing a Playstation 4 version which will be hitting the shops just after Christmas in an attempt to avoid the rush. Mafia is a game where people try and extrapolate the seemingly inconsequential into theories about everything in the known universe and beyond. Edward Lorenz (he of the butterfly effect fame) was one of the game’s great pioneers yet he stood in awe at the level of gameplay in the webDip forums. One of the great webDip mafia players had signed up to the high stakes diplomacy game shortly after exiting the latest Mafia game. He had been unlucky enough to draw France. This was no surprise as he was the unluckiest man alive, he often told people that if he fell into a bucket of tits he would come up sucking his thumb. France wasn’t a bad country to play, but that was the problem, he much preferred to play the plucky underdog that could triumph against the odds and show off his immense intellect at the same time.

France was a level 9 thinking Diplomacy player. The levels are:

Level 1 – Players know the mechanics of the game and the importance of communication.

Level 2 – Players can use the mechanics of the game to communicate without talking. This baffles the level 1 players who think other players must be either psychic or cheating.

Level 3 – Players who destroy the opposition whilst making the opposition believe it was their idea all along.

Levels 4-9 I don’t understand.

France was so adept at the game that he reasoned with 92.7% certainty from one simple comment Austria had made, “I heard a rumour that our joint neighbour is looking your way” that Austria was being played by a gay male aged between 42 and 53 living in the North East of England with bad teeth and early onset boldness. There was, of course, a 7.3% chance that this was what Austria wanted him to think.

France decide to open dialogue with England with a pretend twofold duel double bluff lie. Only he knew if what he was saying should be believed. The wording of this opening salvo was a thing of beauty and should’ve been framed and used as an example to master players who wished to improve their game. Later communiques to Italy belied the fact that he had taken a few sips of a cheeky red and resembled a Scottish football fan bare-chested and staggering down Sauchiehall Street declaring his intent to invade Norway. But this was finals week, if a man can’t have a drink to celebrate finals week, then when could he?

To be continued…

Thx for your comment KingOfWatchestan - I hope you keep reading, I'm saving all the good bits for chapter 87.

Oh, of course I'll keep on reading; I like your writing style. I haven't got very much to do in my spare time otherwise. You know, I've tried to write fanfics on the internet myself before, but having ADD tends to serve as an impediment to writing more than two paragraphs of anything that isn't required of me-perhaps I could find inspiration in your work.

You should give it a go on here KingOfWatchestan - you only need do a couple of paragraphs. This is my first time trying to write this kind of stuff, I've written a couple of plays for a drama club I once ran, but that's about it.

On here? Didn't you already kind of take that role? Besides, I don't really know the different famous players and their tendencies; I haven't been on WebDiplomacy for very long, and this is only the 2nd forum I've even posted on. My only experience in writing comes from my AP English class and the 3 books I tried to write before I either
a. realized the plot wasn't that good
b. realized that I had a big plot hole that killed the few chapters that I had already written, or
c. just got distracted too often while trying to write (there's the ADD again).
That's why I haven't tried to write anything since.

@King: Don't worry. I didn't create this thread so we could just have one story. Feel free to create your own. Also, don't worry too much about quality or continuity. This is for fun. And if you want feedback to improve, we'll feel happy to give it.

I guess you're right, but this is a WebDip-centered fanfic forum. Like I mentioned earlier, I have no knowledge of any of the users, save for the few times I've seen Krellin raging in a debate somewhere in the forums. I might try my hand at writing somewhere else, and then direct anyone who's interested there.

I've always found writing an over dramatic analysis/explanation of a particularly crazy game to be fun to write. It doesn't take any knowledge of the antics of webdip, just a basic knowledge of the game.
If you're looking for something to write, you might try that. As I've said, I've always found it fun

Well, something I've always enjoyed is imagining games as if each player were actually leading a country to war, and the map was just a representation of the actual battles that took place. I think I'll try something like that, with one of my old (or current) games. Thanks for the advice, guys. I'll almost certainly be back with a fanfic sometime soon.

Exactly what I was saying. Can't wait to see it!

Thanks, I can't wait to write it!

@KOW - "Didn't you already kind of take that role?" - I hope my submissions haven't closed the door to other writers. There is no limit to the number of posts a thread can receive, there is room for everyone.

Might I suggest you write about a player with ADD and draw upon your own experiences.