I'd recommend some first-hand research... You won't be satisfied with any of the answers you get otherwise...

one-night stands and casual hookups are two very different things. Do you want an answer to one of them or both? Because I have two different answers...

@gf: What's the difference, exactly?

Well, casual hookups to me sounds much like friends with benefits. You know the person, are physically attracted to them, and if you want to hook up, you hook up, with little to no emotional pain when that person moves on to other dudes (or women). Many times Friends with benefits will develop into a relationship as well, but still, its all the benefits of relationships, with no strings attached and minimal time commitment.

A one night stand I'm wary of though. That sounds like the "oh, what was i thinking" sort of things, whereas friends with benefits is a bit more planned out. Its a lot riskier and a lot douchebag-ier to do one night stands.

If you don't care about the person you feel terrible the next day. It's pretty good during, though.

Many many people would rather go for the quick fix than the slow game. That's just the way people are. Relationships are long slow work where it is by no means certain that you're going to get your leg over. There are plenty of people (girls) out there who would prefer a long term relationship and may not even believe the "Sex and the City" propaganda that the third date is the sex date.

There is an advantage to having many sexual partners - experience! You will learn stuff you'd never dreamed of, some of it very good indeed. Stuff that will turn just sex into good sex, good sex into great sex and great sex into fantastic sex!

There are disadvantages to having many sexual partners too - STI's. Some are not treatable and some are fatal! Play safe.

You're young (I assume) and there's time for long term relationships when you're closer to 30, so get out there and butterfly (lovely verb).

Yeah, the next day you feel like shit. That's why I caught myself halfway one time with a girl and backed off. I patted myself on the back for that one :) But usually with casual hookups you care about the person, at least has been my experience

Don't for get about the biggest STD of all: Babies!

Hahahaha, of course properly using a condom can also reduce your risk of contracting an STI, and the risk of pregnancy.

At any rate, yes. I concur with everyone else's evaluations of the differences between one night stands, casual hook ups, and relationships. But for the record, relationships are scary and a lot more difficult to start up. Casual hookups have all the fun of sex without the minefield of a relationship. It sounds cheap or sleazy, but bear it mind it also depends what you want, and what the other person wants. If neither of you really wants a serious relationship that doesn't mean you can't still have sex.

Also I dunno, it's also possible to have a retroactive one night stand. You meant to hook up with this person again, but for whatever reason it never ends up happening, and voila, retroactive one night stand! Though that's not really the same thing. And again, as long as both of you know what it is, there's nothing wrong with a one night stand either.

If you drunk, you might be attracted enough to do both, until you sober up a realuze you slept with Jabba the Hutt.

Hooking up has it's inhernet risks that the person you hook up with (or you for that matter) may have hidden feeleings for the other one, feelings that aren't returned, and then somebody gets hurt. It's unintentional, but unrequited love mixed with hooking up is always a painful thing.

@Speaker: "You're young (I assume) and there's time for long term relationships when you're closer to 30"
I'm almost 15. Anyway, why would I want to wait till I'm close to 30 for a long-term relationship? I want to have one as soon as possible. Now, I've never had sex nor have I had a girlfriend, but from what I imagine, a long-term relationship would be much more fun and fulfilling than just sex. Am I just being naive? Are relationships really not as fun as I imagine them? If so, why would people have them at all, then?

@gf: Well, friends with benefits I can sort of understand, though I do wonder why you wouldn't want to date someone you like enough to be friends with and are attracted to enough to have sex with. And really, if you think about it, you're having sex with that person, and you're friends, so you're hanging out with that person, so really it isn't much different from casual dating, if at all.

Remember, anything that causes strong emotions (like a relationship) causes them both ways. Yes, love is great, but a fight can be really bad. Do you want that whole rollercoaster?

My opinion is: yes. I'd rather have the emotional attachment instead of 'sharing' a one night stand with others.

I disagree with the person who said casual hookups (FWB) is preferable to one night standing.

FWB inevitably causes emotional pain - the likelihood of one of the partners developing emotions, often unrequited, is too much of a risk. Whether you "knew what you were getting into" or not, that kind of pain is not something I would wish on anyone. So steer clear of it if you can.

Because otherwise, it becomes a sick kind of game (even more than your average relationship). The game is: run far far away the second I develop feelings, to stay ahead. You want to be the dumper and not the dumpee. And that is no way to "have fun" And if you already knew them, then you also lose a friend.

One night stands are totally different, you presumably have and will have no social connection to this person.

Thusly it can be fun and an interesting experience. There is the immediate post-coital feeling of disgust.. yes. But it's not that bad. Lol. The main thing is STIs for those - probably stick to third base and less for one night things otherwise you might have something for the rest of your life. And I think its probably not so much the symptoms or shame (usually treatable) of an infection - it's the guilt and risk of giving it to other people and the hamper that puts on your sex life that is the real death sentence.

Say you get HIV and then want to marry someone - now, as unlikely as finding a good marriage partner already was, you have to find one who is essentially willing to contract HIV.

That or you just find someone who already has HIV too lol.

@Thucy: But why would you want to have a one-night stand rather than a relationship?

oh well if you are single, you want both. and you take what you can get.

the kind of girl that will be willing to one night stand with you is not the same kind of girl that will want to be your girlfriend, so its not like you even have the option with whats-her-name-from-last-night for the most part.

its fine to prefer one over the other, but in my book its folly to turn one down when it comes along unless you have a good reason (i heard she has herpes, in the 1night stand case, or she is a shallow unintelligent user in the case of a relationship)

@CM - I really love steak, but sometimes a fancy a burger - does that answer your question?

Just don't eat a burger after you've ordered the steak : )

@Thucy: Okay, that makes sense. The thing is, I'm worried that if I had a one-night stand, I would be worried for days or weeks if the person was actually my soulmate and I'd let them get away. But I guess that the fact that a girl interested in a one-night stand isn't a girl I'd want to date takes care of that worrry, right?

@maniac: But I still don't understand why anyone would actually prefer the 'burger' over the 'steak', at any point in time. It just doesn't make sense to me.

@CM

Because, steaks are expensive and take longer to eat. Sometimes you don't want to make that type of commitment. Also, sometimes you can't find a restaurant that serves steak, but you're still really hungry.

@abge: Why wouldn't you want to make that type of commitment? And, as I said before, if I just had the burger, I'd be worried for days or weeks or hell, even months, that that burger would have actually made the perfect steak and I had just let it get away.

Oh, and also @abge: Why wouldn't a you be able to find a girl that wants a relationship? I mean, if a girl likes you enough to fuck you, why wouldn't she want to date you?

Because real relationships are different that HS relationships. They require more time and commitment. You have to deal with larger issues. HS relationships consist of:
-making out at the movies
-making out in the basement
-making out under the bleachers

real relationships consist of:
-we work opposite shifts, when will we see each other
-I just got a job across the country, should we try a long distant relationship?
-Are we ready to live together?

real relationships are also a lot more rewarding, imho, but that doesn't make them less hard. Some people just don't have the interest or time for them.

One night stand girls do not make for long term relationship material and long term relationships are work. Not everyone is willing to put in the effort to make a realtionship work. That's why divorce rates are so high. So, unless your willing to put in the work *and* risk getting your heart ripped out of your chest later considering the statistics of lasting LTRs, then the one night stand is for you. If you accept the risks and are willing to put in the effort, then the LTR is for you.

When I was single, I had one night stands. I had an FWB that got serious, turned into an engagement, then she dumped me for a guy her preacher approved of. And then I found the love of my life 23 years ago and got married 22 years ago (to the same LOML).

No one is really addressing my worry (that the person I had the one-night stand with could have been my soulmate, but I let her go), and that's all that is really holding me back from accepting this. The closest you're getting is: "One night stand girls do not make for long term relationship material." But Thucy already basically said that, and while that's true, it doesn't help with my worry.

If one night stand girls don't make LTR material, then you need not worry that she'll be the one. If hse is to be the one, then just go out and have a good time without the sex. Your 15 for fucks sake. You don't have to get laid just yet. Get to know her and see if you like her. If you do, let it take it's course. You'll get there. If you don't really like her or think she is right for you, but want to lose it, boff her brains out then call her a cab. And if you aren't in a rush to lose it (and there is no need to be), then just part ways after the date.

In short, one date. Really like her and want another? Don't do it. Wait until the time feels right. Don't really like her but she is hot and you want to do her? Do her. Don't like her and no longer find her attractive for whatever reason? Kick her to the curb.

Whatever you do, don't play games. Make your intentions clear to her or you could wind up with a psycho bitch from hell you just wanted to fuck one time calling you and pulling a Glenn Close on you.