I got beans, greens, tomatoes, potatoes

Is this another one of those perplexing Aussie threads, like the Churchie one?

If not, then I'll trade you one ore for two sheep.

Can I just rent instead?

@MKECharlie... Are you trolling the Aussies, or trying to be satirical ?
What y'all reading in dis thread is from one of Nebraska's finest (?) minds, libertarian, raconteur, libertine and Lothario, the bibulous and occasionally Heartbroken brainbomb.

@MM: it was an honest question. I was just (and remain) confused.

Do you gots any oil paintings?

Fake IDs, University degrees, drivers licenses and software fixes for Internet banking & ladyboy brides. We are unable to provide any of these.

I'll trade you a wood and a brick for your wheat and your sheep

major did you say you have a ladyboy bride? i bet you have a 'love doll' too. weren't you 'Lars' in that movie?

Give me a wood and a brick for free and I'll block brainbomb's longest road. I'm not in a position to get longest road myself, but you are if I block him. It's a good deal for you.

I'll trade you a Kopech and a Moncada for your Sale.

one kopec? last week you gave me two kopecks! (i had a bad week). you had a bad week, so i should suffer?!?

Yes.

ooh, mean man!

I still want to know about your policy on rentals.

I'll respond with a move to Switzerland.

The Red Sox were fucking robbed, Bo. I couldn't be happier right now. A stud in Moncada+++ for 3 years of Chris Sale?

Uno!

Oh Capt Brad it is indeed the case that daffy old MajorMitchell has probably already had 85% to 90% of all the sexual fun I will ever have, all with living women, not ladyboys, dolls, animals etc , I'm in the Autumn years for the sex caper. I no complain, I am most happy, I live in the best years of modern antibiotics, Viagra arrived with perfect timing. The 60's & 70's were a bonanza, we may have paradoxically had a lot more freedom in Australia forty years ago than we do today.
I don't have to explain the evolving relationship I have with the fire breathing MemSahib, Her Indoors on the sofa eating cakes, and if I am allowed certain freedoms occasionally and I am discreet then it's only a moral choice for the consenting adults involved.
If I choose to enjoy a discreet affair with a much younger woman & the young lady chooses to indulge the Daffy old MajorMitchell, I say that should be regarded as a good thing.
Instead of disbelieving envy, I actually deserve a bit of respect imho.
Since a white recent stunning exploit I am considering indulging in this modern fetish for piercings. A modest single piercing but in a most sensitive place. I will visit a local tattoo / piercings parlour to investigate and discuss it with my GP the next time I visit. I think lashings of pain killing cream will be required & a down time of 4 to 6 months, so this is not going to be a rushed decision.
Now since chefs are celebrities & cooking is extremely fashionable, which of you young reprobates wants to know a surefire intoxication recipe for the young Miss who will only ever drink one glass of champagne when invited to dinner. ?
It's a genuine corker, sometimes so effective that sometimes strawberries and coffee have to be bought out to reduce the level of exuberant intoxication of the young Miss.
It involves the use of a pear liqueur called Kruskovac in the cooking of a spicy dish.. So the clever & determined to stay sober young Miss gets done in by the combination of a most modest amount of French champagne & the hidden pear liqueur. It produces a perfect exhilarating reckless euphoria in young ladies, a glowing inner feeling that encourages the loosening and shedding of clothing, rarely has an emetic effect.
I suppose such schemes are sneered at these days.

I've also offered this tip before..how to.respond to the unexpected "We're pregnant" news when it comes from a casual lover etc.
So.many chaps fall at this hurdle. It's simple. No matter how shocking this news might be, a calm display of joy is required, happiness. No expressions of anything other than happiness and full commitment to be the best dad possible. Start coming up with baby names, etc Firstly a young chap should never get himself in such a predicament by using sensible precautions. But there I've been, and if the woman is pregnant and she decides to have the child then you have to be the best father you can be for the child and the mother. However the odds favour a false alarm in this situation.
And that is the most likely outcome. A false alarm. Heaven help you if you made the generally relationship fatal mistake of trying to verbally limit your responsibilities to possible baby.. Women don't easily forgive & tend to never forget that perceived lack of loyalty.
However if you play it like the canny old MajorMitchell did after messing up the first time at that jump, and went for the happy dad act the next time up, it's another winning way with a woman.. Remember it's an emotional, daunting task for her to give you this news, the happy dad act stuns the woman into happiness and she relaxes a bit.. and after wards.. well she will reward you for you loyalty..repeatedly.

Well I'd better go let the chooks out

@MajorMitchel: tl;dr

@_0rathaic I have no idea what your abbreviated message means

I'm pretty sure MajorMitchell just advocated for using date rape drugs.

I'm kind of mortified.

Yea... just to clarify thats not what decent guys do...

I wanted to talk to her so we sat down and agreed to just be unofficial. And no obligations. No rules. But really theres always rules. Im content with it.

But every day is different. Im happier. Or some days im more paranoid. But overall my soul eating chest pain and nausea is gone. My heartache is gone.

I have to remind myself shes a person not a game or a drug. I cant get addicted to a person or ill never be full and all my anxiety will be dumped on her.