Mini~Xu, Scooter and Dusty Balzac, Scallywags Playing Golf in No Man's Land

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MajorMitchell
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Re: Mini~Xu, Scooter and Dusty Balzac, Scallywags Playing Golf in No Man's Land

#21 Post by MajorMitchell » Wed Jun 09, 2021 4:45 pm

Well I have to be most cautious about what I say publicly about the matter because the judicial process has to be completed before I can publicly discuss the specifics. To make public comments would risk being found being in contempt of the Court, risk damage to my defense. All I can really say publicly is that a complaint was made, I've been charged with assaulting a private security guard working for new Chinese Consulate in Joslin, my first Court appearance is on 17th June & I intend on defending my innocence. To discuss the "qui bono" (who benefits, motivation for complaint) for example would be discussing matters that are "sub judice" ~ awaiting justice/ subject to judicial process as an approximate translation & doing so might/would constitute an offence of Contempt of Court.

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Re: Mini~Xu, Scooter and Dusty Balzac, Scallywags Playing Golf in No Man's Land

#22 Post by MajorMitchell » Wed Jun 09, 2021 4:52 pm

Performances.. four this fortnight. I have been busy. Whippersnapper Unicorn Chap's Hall in his Heritage Bluestone Villa in fashionable suburb coming along, it's the Hall of a thousand hours of preparation. Started painting ceiling, 2 ceiling roses & top and bottom horizontal feature rails of ornate cornice with individual tinted colours. House was originally Baptist Church Manse built circa 1850 (Priest's residence) then privately owned, used as Brothel circa 1918-1940 then private residence again. Still has red stained glass in windows in frame around front door from brothel years.

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Re: Mini~Xu, Scooter and Dusty Balzac, Scallywags Playing Golf in No Man's Land

#23 Post by MajorMitchell » Wed Jun 09, 2021 4:57 pm

Please help my career, my Dusty Balzac Bush Philosopher Facebook Page audience/ friends is about 68 & I need to get it past 100 to cross a Facebook threshold. Please look it up and give it a Facebook like/ please make Frenemy, oops Friend request.
I heard a new one​, Stans. ~Stalker ~fans.

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Re: Mini~Xu, Scooter and Dusty Balzac, Scallywags Playing Golf in No Man's Land

#24 Post by MajorMitchell » Wed Jun 16, 2021 3:34 pm

It's ~1am and I am parked in parklands near CBD of Adelaide with homeless people camping nearby. I went to Diverse City nightclub open mic night tonight, had a hearty meal, gave them a bottle of Talisker Single Malt Scotch Whisky for the Bar, did fifteen minutes of Standup and watched a brilliant duo sing and one played guitar. They did a four song encore after winning the $Aus100 first prize including a Burt Bacharach Hal David classic & a King Princess song I really liked so I will get the CD of their album with the song.
I finally paid last installment to get my Paul Hogan TV Shows etc DVD set and collected it, plus paid for the Artic Monkeys A M album CD that is ordered & on it's way to the Sunny Antipodes.
I also agreed to purchase an early 1990's Honda CB250 Red motorcycle for $Aus 1,500-.
I collected & paid $Aus60 for a vintage Telephone Linesman's Test Handpiece with old fashioned rotary dialling mechanism so it's circa 1950's / 1960's ~ it will make an excellent prop for comedy, to satarise mobile phones.
As Jim Morrison sang, "the future's uncertain and the end is always near"

96 yo Aunty Meg is close to crossing the River Jordan, spoke to her briefly on Wednesday about 3:39pm. She is so close to the end & I will miss her a lot, she's my most beloved Aunt.

So, it's En Avante Mes Amis and may confusion and calamity reign down upon Wicked Xu Doo Poodung and his servants.

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Re: Mini~Xu, Scooter and Dusty Balzac, Scallywags Playing Golf in No Man's Land

#25 Post by MajorMitchell » Mon Jun 21, 2021 7:11 pm

Doom.and Gloom, invade my affairs, tis no use whining or withdrawing as the young actress whispered to her Cardinal Sin.

The Ominous News is that I have foolishly accepted the offer to perform as Dusty Balzac Bush Philosopher in Adelaide heat 2 of the Antipodean national RAW comedy competition to be held at Rhino Room on Wednesday 14th July.

I'm tinkering with some new stuff about tackle box & compass get lost in the bushes, but need Hilarious jokes, so please submit your contributions.

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Re: Mini~Xu, Scooter and Dusty Balzac, Scallywags Playing Golf in No Man's Land

#26 Post by MajorMitchell » Sun Jul 04, 2021 6:15 am

Merci Mes Amis, love your work 💜💖💜
The open mic night at Diverse City nightclub on Wednesday 30(? 1st?) was cancelled due to small CV19 outbreak needing to be controlled and SA Government changing restrictions. The restrictions were eased 24hrs later and I did a five minute spot at Rhino Room open mic night on Thursday night.
My second performance at Rhino Room & Michael Bowley the organiser had me 1st or 2nd act in first half of show on my first outing on his stage.

On Thursday night, he placed me as fourth act in second half of show after intermission break, two spots from top.billing. A daunting acid test, it's great coming on after three hot comics because the audience is fired up, but if you don't start really well, keep audience laughter going, be even funnier, you can crash and burn so easily.
I had a strong performance and have a much better tighter concept of the five minute routine I will do in this critical Heat2 of RAW Comedy competition performance in ten days time ( assuming it's the 4th today, LoL)
Lots of work to do preparing, hand sewing embroidered patches onto a long sleeved shirt and rehearsing my routine, something I don't out enough disciplined time into, I do most performances "on the fly" without much more than a general idea of what I will do, the bumbling amateur.

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Re: Mini~Xu, Scooter and Dusty Balzac, Scallywags Playing Golf in No Man's Land

#27 Post by MajorMitchell » Sun Jul 04, 2021 6:27 am

I have a higher​ risk opening planned, I come on, speak in my pidgin French..
"Merci, merci, je t'aime, merci beaucoup, enchante mes amis, un cleric dans chapeau et Le Bishop Tallyrand et deux juene mademoiselles Dan's rouge lingerie entrez La Salon et .. Mon dieu ..Les petit bougousie(?) n'est pas ecoutez et parlez francaise, Les miserables... tres bien, me boganglish then...
& start speaking in English..
Just an idea..

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Re: Mini~Xu, Scooter and Dusty Balzac, Scallywags Playing Golf in No Man's Land

#28 Post by MajorMitchell » Wed Jul 07, 2021 3:17 am

The lunacy increases, seven days to go...
I went to Cranker Comedy last night to network with colleagues, met this most interesting chap Tony Roberts who was the headline act. Adorable & madly exciting Kylie 🌟 Star turned up and we're going to meet at tonight's first RAW Comedy competition heat at Rhino Room & sit together near the stage and play psychological games with audience and performers, all in fun and with a genuine care to not deliberately sabotage or harm another Standup Comedian's performance.
We're going to experiment with "looking as if we're going to heckle and not heckle" --- because we're known as wickedly wierd audience members, our pals when they're on stage will be expecting us to heckle, glancing our way.etc.. and we do fake countdowns to a heckle then don't..

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Re: Mini~Xu, Scooter and Dusty Balzac, Scallywags Playing Golf in No Man's Land

#29 Post by MajorMitchell » Wed Jul 07, 2021 3:17 am

Madly researching my local First Nations Community language Ramindjeri.

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Re: Mini~Xu, Scooter and Dusty Balzac, Scallywags Playing Golf in No Man's Land

#30 Post by MajorMitchell » Fri Jul 09, 2021 1:01 am

Five days to go? I have challenged African clairvoyant magician Joseph Mbappewa who advertises in The Advertiser Newspaper (Adelaide) to come to Heat2 of RAW Comedy competition @ Rhino Room, the challenge is for Joseph Mbappewa to cast a spell that gives Dusty Balzac Bush Philosopher a shrunken head during my performance on stage and Dusty (me) is going to use my magical powers to transform Joseph Mbappewa into a laughing stock.
Joseph Mbappewa has taken the bait, sending me hostile texts, 💀 skulls and abuse~ so it's another fight I have started.. LoL

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Re: Mini~Xu, Scooter and Dusty Balzac, Scallywags Playing Golf in No Man's Land

#31 Post by MajorMitchell » Fri Jul 09, 2021 1:05 am

I will do anything to get more audience members and win this competition, a shrunken head is a small price to pay for victory!
Polling of comedy colleagues indicates a strong opinion that giving me a shrunken head during my performance is an impossible task..
Straw poll of the Webdiplomacy Community...
Can Joseph Mbappewa reduce the size of Daffy Old MM/ Dusty Balzac's head & ego?

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Re: Mini~Xu, Scooter and Dusty Balzac, Scallywags Playing Golf in No Man's Land

#32 Post by taylor4 » Fri Jul 09, 2021 5:23 pm

I'm surprised you let this through the gate of your teeth. - Omaros

MajorMitchell
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Re: Mini~Xu, Scooter and Dusty Balzac, Scallywags Playing Golf in No Man's Land

#33 Post by MajorMitchell » Wed Jul 14, 2021 4:50 pm

Crashed & burnt in my opinion. Others were nice about it. Didn't get selected for state final. Put a lot into it and failed.

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Re: Mini~Xu, Scooter and Dusty Balzac, Scallywags Playing Golf in No Man's Land

#34 Post by Wusti » Thu Jul 15, 2021 2:26 pm

Don't feel bad MM. I had a few concerns when you seemed to be making your comedy awfully complicated. Never saw Billy Connelly or Oz's current favourite, Carl Barron get too complicated - their best stuff is extraordinarily ordinary, every day, every man stuff.

Might not be your thing, but LCD isn't always wrong.

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Re: Mini~Xu, Scooter and Dusty Balzac, Scallywags Playing Golf in No Man's Land

#35 Post by MajorMitchell » Thu Jul 15, 2021 4:11 pm

There's a lot of stuff people will laugh at that's just superficial crap in my opinion, like I watch people make jokes about others that show the person making the joke has no real understanding of what life is actually like for those of whom they make fun. I certainly don't have it worked out & that's why I failed

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Re: Mini~Xu, Scooter and Dusty Balzac, Scallywags Playing Golf in No Man's Land

#36 Post by Octavious » Thu Jul 15, 2021 4:56 pm

They have a fun little collection of shrunken heads in Pitt Rivers in Oxford. Have to keep them them hidden away now, of course. Political correctness and all that.

All that aside, good on you for giving it a go. You planning on charging back into the breach any time soon or taking a break for a while?

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Re: Mini~Xu, Scooter and Dusty Balzac, Scallywags Playing Golf in No Man's Land

#37 Post by MajorMitchell » Sun Jul 18, 2021 2:57 am

Having some healing time. Analysing everything. Will emerge with adapted plans, strategy etc. Get a better balance between doing standup comedy and:
Other artistic activities painting drawing, film.work, learning Ngarrindjeri language.
Responsibilities to family, self and battered Beach Shack & garden.
Political activism, Court trial.

Standup comedy. I am still determined to follow my own instincts and philosophical/ethical choices, and I'm not dropping the "theatricality" ~ costumes and props included. The whole thing is in its crudest earliest stages.
Anyway it's a nicer day today and I'm going to do some art/Political painting on my verandah balcony.

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Re: Mini~Xu, Scooter and Dusty Balzac, Scallywags Playing Golf in No Man's Land

#38 Post by MajorMitchell » Tue Aug 03, 2021 1:15 pm

Sixteen days have passed since my most recent post in this thread and disengaged Millennials playing with IT devices Scallywags and Whippersnappers are informed now that during this period:

South Australia had a seven day Lockdown/Shutdown when a CV19 Delta variant outbreak occurred and activities were quite restricted, which worked and the easing of restrictions has occurred.

Heaps and heaps of glorious rain has fallen upon this parched ancient land & my battered Beach Shack in Flyblown Gully by the Sea. Calf length Rubber Boots for outdoor footwear and playing in the artificial drainage system along the western boundary of my.modest property in Flyblown Gully by the Sea, it's called Andy's Creek.

The 60/40 Pond, 60% of the way down the boundary & gradient which holds ~900 to1,200 litres and in most years never needs it's overflow channel dug out, needed that relief about ten days ago & so did the upcreek ponds. Most of the year these ponds don't have much if any surface water in them apart from during winter.

This initial digging work & shifting wheelbarrow loads of some sand mostly clay to the excess soil pile has triggered a more ambitious program if domestic exterior works.
A new boundary fence along the northern half is one part. I have already re~routed the roof gutter downpipe.
Regrettably the top fifteen+ metres of Andy's Creek will be lost, it will start lower down the gradient, a stormwater piped system and the changed outflow location for gutter downpipe.

What will be gained is usable space between my battered Beach Shack and that boundary, the northwest corner and western side.
A new Art Studio, Aviary and Hen house and hen run amongst two citrus trees are planned with a long build time, ho ho.

The excavation and drainage work will allow me to get away with much greater internal height for a lower exterior above ground height most particularly when viewed from neighbouring properties. I also intend to be cautious with not building outside my real property boundary line, the aged fence wanders up that slope.

I done a bit of online comfort shopping and comfort shopping at the Port Elliot Timcomitre10 purchasing vans of spray paint in red yellow orange colours & 110mm sanding discs for my angle grinder.

One of my eccentricities is to stop when driving to move a hazardous item off the road and if the item could be recycled, reused then I often take it home like a crow with a shiny or interesting object.

I have accumulated a number of damaged aluminium sheet road signs, most hit by vehicles, or eventually the wind induced stress loads at the two bolt holes cause such cracking that the sign blows off in strong winds.

The modern high tech paints used in multiple layers on these signs, to be removed, take a serious workover with sanding discs on an angle grinder.

So one side takes quite a bit of work & the other a light going over with a clean new disc as preparation for painting. They also often require a workover with a hard rubber head hammer to flatten out impact damage.
So I have about seven in various sizes that I have taken from not ready to first/second coats of paint with two smaller sized ones needing original paint removed.

I am preparing the bulk lot so I can reuse them. It gives me choices for the first fabrication project using them.

The second small painting project coming along are my plywood sheet Political Activism signs. I am painting two new ones with black chalkboard paint on one side and on the other side, a Myanmar Resistance flag design, it has a central green cross, four yellow L shaped bands with red rectangles in each corner.

There's a third with chalkboard paint both sides. Want to slowly increase this stock of Political Activism signs.

I have arranged to purchase three new tyres for my car tomorrow & go to the dentist. Two new tyres will go on the front, the current front tyres go to the rear and one new true is the spare tyre. I got a flat rear tyre at 2am Saturday just south of Mt Compass, although I ran over the glass that caused it on the trip north Friday ~7:30pm.. twas a trip to the suburban expanses of Adelaide's northern suburbs, a 130+km one way expedition to purchase a vintage pram for $Aus 50- the proportion of fuel bill for the round trip + other km.~$Aus 42- of a $Aus 55- fuel bill.
I mentioned online comfort shopping. Facebook marketplace.

I had been watching this particular pram sale for some weeks, many weeks, as it's first listing price was $Aus100. (about thirty pommy quid ho ho, or 48 quid.) It's collection location was a definite deterrence but at fifty Pacific Pesos Amigos the seduction was unavoidable, irresistible.

It's a Cracker, circa late 1950s early 1960s and high quality still.in very good condition. A full size removable basket with fold up hood that can be used/flipped either end of basket.. Wonderful sprung framework, stainless steel fittings etc wire spoke wheels chrome hubcaps white tyres. Mudgaurds are.stylish shaped metal long one piece each side, just FAB! Blue exterior vinyl on basket exterior & hood. Cream coloured vinyl interior of basket with wooden sheet as internal liftout (to clean) basket floor.
It's the same vintage as the smaller vintage pram that I found on a pile of unwanted goods outside a house in an expensive suburb of Adelaide, not North of the CBD but southeast.
That smaller vintage pram is for a child to play with, to use with toy dolls, and I used it as a Busking prop.and adorned it with a Rams Scull and JC on crucifix, lingerie etc and it was a Smasher for getting donations in the right location.

This second, larger Vintage Pram is like my first Cruiser class Vintage Pram and the first a Destroyer class Vintage Pram. At present it's a beautiful Hull, it needs fitting out, weapons systems to entertain or surprise audiences when on deployment Busking.

I had already decided that a more radical Heavy Cruiser class Pram is required as a third Busking Pram, for this I have initially thought of those Battlebots that fight each other for some design ideas with a 1950-1960s Vintage external interpretation and vintage 1960-1990s Electronics and mechanics.

Hence the need for a new Art Studio / Theatrical/Busking props fabrication studio.
Today I visited a local Community FM Radio station & filled out a membership application form, paid the annual $Aus 40 fee for this financial year, so eleven months membership effectively. A new organisation to infiltrate and within bicycling on a nice day distance from my battered Beach Shack.
So it's new tyres and dentist appointment tomorrow, Wednesday, then on Thursday I have my appointment with a proper psychologist in a local clinic, my GP Doctor had his specialist doctor colleague quiz me and they made the referral and appointment back in June.
I will definitely have to be honest but not so honest that I get "section 8(?)~ted" under the SA Mental Health Act and confined for more intensive treatment, that's not the way to hsve a cordial and productive relationship with a chap's new psychologist.
I do hope that I am not subjected to viewing pornographic ink blots & forced to use "Gossamer winged Butterfly" to discreetly describe a smutty representation of the Beautiful vagina of my French tutor when I was a teenage whippersnapper.

I want ongoing therapy, one session every two to three months so a good first session is required, so I earnestly hope this psychologist passes her interview/ audition for the role as my mental health clinician ,& me in mine as patient definitely requiring ongoing therapy at the rate convenient to me.
Au Revoir Mes Amis et En Avante

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Re: Mini~Xu, Scooter and Dusty Balzac, Scallywags Playing Golf in No Man's Land

#39 Post by MajorMitchell » Mon Aug 23, 2021 12:03 pm

Greetings & Salutations dear readers, your author.is required to appear in Adelaide Magistrates Court in two days to answer a Charge of Commit Assault.
It's​ the second appearance in Court on this Charge for me, in July I entered a Not Guilty plea, made enquiries about getting copies of the brief of evidence etc from the South Australian Police Prosecution Officer and the matter was adjourned until Wednesday 25th August.

I have been approaching lawyers and law firms for months without success, yet had deliberately avoided contacting a lawyer whom. I knew decades ago when we were young whippersnappers.
So I got in touch with his office and left a message and he telephoned me later that day. I had to discreetly mention some former associates for him to recall who I was and immediately he offered his assistance.

When Australia's legal aid system was introduced in the 1980s it was intended to provide legal representation for both the disadvantaged and prolotariat, the workers, the pensioners but during the Howard Federal Government decade in power this wide elegibility was reduced, funding was changed and the states left with greater funding responsibilities vis a vis Federal Government funding responsibilities.

So although I would initially qualify for legal aid funding, after the trial the Legal Aid organisation would revise that classification because I am a property owner & have some modest Superannuation, and they would require me to repay the funds they had expended on my behalf as legal aid, and helpfully probably add a few administration fees along the way, LoL.

So I will privately fund my legal representation and go for an award for costs when I am found innocent or the prosecution is withdrawn. On an afternoon and evening that was full of Cosmic Madness where I gave money to begging people and went Busking beside the Exeter Hotel in Rundle St and received about $Aus 25 in donations and more importantly, after finishing Busking about 11:30pm was asked by some young whippersnappers​ to talk with them and had been doing so for over half an hour then mentioned this assault charge stuff and getting a lawyer and these whippersnappers got quite interested, asking questions which I answered and after a while they revealed that they are studying Law at Adelaide University.

Three of them are eager to get involved, helping in preparation and my lawyer had suggested getting help from University Law students so I am far more confident about my prospects in Court.

I have managed to negotiate the payment of $Aus 4,000 to the Law firm that is representing me, the quote/ estimate of costs was $5,000 so I will apply an old maxim,
If a lawyer quotes $10,000 you should give him $15,000.
Now many people misinterpret this as a cynical comment about a mercenary stereotype.
It is in fact pragmatic advice about the nature of the judicial system in Australia, expect delays, unforseen costs and be prepared.

So I intend on paying $Aus 8,000 by the end of the year to my lawyer and be well ahead on the costs curve.

My hair and whiskers have not been cut since April in preparation for a small role in a film, the producer keeps in contact and wants to do a two day film shoot soon. It's a most intriguing film project and I adore the secrecy and hope this might be a film project with a decent budget. I care little about being paid for my participation, at this embrionic stage of my career as a Performing Comedic Artist it's the opportunities that appeal more than financial reward.

I spat the dummy with the Flinders University Hockey Club and resigned my membership

Diverse City nightclub has been a Sanctuary and I've been going to Wednesday nights open mic nights & continuing to raise awareness about the Human Rights Crisis in Myanmar.

I finished most of those crazy abandoned BlighterDalekBot games that I rashly entered bar the one I was in the point of winning and missed orders, LoL.

So I have started a new World game called Ausglassen Urkomisch with a 50 point buy in so a potential 850 point pot ~ a pot of modest significance for participating players to squabble about.

Au Revoir Mes Amis et En Avante 🤠

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Re: Mini~Xu, Scooter and Dusty Balzac, Scallywags Playing Golf in No Man's Land

#40 Post by gimix » Mon Aug 23, 2021 1:18 pm

MajorMitchell wrote:
Mon Aug 23, 2021 12:03 pm
So I have started a new World game called Ausglassen Urkomisch with a 50 point buy in so a potential 850 point pot
Do you plan to win the game and use those :points: as an advance payment to your lawyer? ;)

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