Mini~Xu, Scooter and Dusty Balzac, Scallywags Playing Golf in No Man's Land

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MajorMitchell
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Mini~Xu, Scooter and Dusty Balzac, Scallywags Playing Golf in No Man's Land

#1 Post by MajorMitchell » Sun Apr 25, 2021 10:15 pm

Bonjour & En Avante Mes Amis,
I have created this new thread to replace my "Daffy Old MM dives head first into unforgiving hard floor thread for several reasons & they include:

1: PTG~ post trauma growth, that thread was created in early June 2020, on April 4th 2020 the death of my neighbour's Gardener whilst I pounded away at the CPR caper on my own & then my collapse in early June & resultant impact of my Daffy Old Scone with tiled floor are both experiences that have caused me some angst & done me some good. A year has passed, described in the thread created. A new thread is now required for the year ahead & here 'tis & I hope it will be Amusing, Entertaining & occasionally Illuminating for readers.

2: the surprising popularity of my scribblings​, rantings and anecdotes. 18,000+ views is astonishing and there are delicate sensibilities amongst my Publisher's personnel, plus the inevitable "monetisation" plays by those seeking to profit from exploiting the compassionate interested readers of my surprisingly popular thread are additional reasons for the discontinuation of that thread.

3: Relevance. Young whippersnappers & disengaged Millennials playing with IT devices and Mature Readers deserve a thread with relevance to the Pilgrimage ahead for our three Freedom Loving Artistic Activists, the three Scallywags.
Lovely Princess Estelle is promoted to Corporal Scallywag, a highly respected & desired companion who will I hope delight readers as much as she delights & enchants your author.
Refusing all retirement offers, my Adorable Fire Breathing MemSahib, Her Serene Imperiousness Indoors lying on a Sofa eating Cakes will continue to blight, oops, grace us with her predatory presence.
ComradeTrucky remains, loyal and a continuing scourge to those with poor driving skills and defective motoring etiquette, albeit on E~bike for three months with CV 8 Monaro tucked away due to a licence suspension to renew Demerit points. Sprocket the Rocket is around and about, probably zooming up the Cut Hill climbing twisty bits at Warp Speed.

Last seven days and nights, 1,000+km of driving in five trips from Flyblown Gully by the Sea to Adelaide. Performances at Diverse City nightclub & Enigma Bar and a chaotic half day of filming material with Nick Gooch, Zack Southern, Gomez & Ash.

Huge Scallywaggery, comic adventures & Delightful Pleasures with Lovely Princess Estelle in her Corporal Scallywag costume.
Well I was up before dawn engaging in light exercises & manouvres & then made tea for the victorious Corporal & self.
Having scribbled this new post, tis time for more tea. A tray with pot of tea delivered to my Adorable Fire Breathing MemSahib's quarters, and similar for Enchanting Estelle.
I am off to Adelaide again today, Jeeves~ing for my Young Unicorn Chap. Toodle pip & Tickety Boo I love you 💜.
Tis 7:45am
Au Revoir Mes Amis.

MajorMitchell
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Re: Mini~Xu, Scooter and Dusty Balzac, Scallywags Playing Golf in No Man's Land

#2 Post by MajorMitchell » Thu Apr 29, 2021 12:17 pm

So it was five days of adventure then one day at home then four more adventurous days and today at home with three days of adventures ahead. The trusty car has been driven about 4,200km since recent engine oil change ~18th March.
I have borrowed my disengaged GenX(? if that is one immediately prior to Millennials​) nephew's Nikon D3200 digital SLR camera & have a sturdy tripod camera elevator mount with rotating & tilt lever hand control to which the camera can be attached.
Of course he has placed the user manual in innaccessible location so today I visited my Job Network Provider to use their computer & printer to download and print 112 pages of Nikon user manual & a dozen or so pages of other information about making video clips with this model camera from other interwebby sources.

This evening I telephoned my whippersnapper nephew & he is going to "set up a laptop" in the next few days for me to use to download videos from the camera & edit them, then post them online.

I have seen the video clip by Nick Gooch "Boardwalk Empire" on Facebook & had a telephone chat about filming new stuff with Zack Southern & he's keen. We're both busy this weekend so we're planning on the following weekend for a filming day, or two.

When I was leaving the Job Network Provider's office I managed some good work with a most attractive young whippersnappers lass of about twenty three years of age, another unemployed untermenschen like me, yet far more pleasant in features & charms. I persuaded her to do a Facebook search for Dusty Balzac Bush Philosopher Facebook Page & she found it & clicked like, which was a superb outcome imho.

I am pleased to announce that after Hockey training Tuesday night at Woodville Hockey Club ground the Flinders University Hockey Club Treasurer, an enthusiastic young whippersnapper with professional degree in some science tried five times with his own mobile phone to do my South Australian Hockey Association online player registration and failed gloriously.
I had tried in three attempts of three quarter hour apiece last week and failed. Conclusive evidence that it's a bamboozled algorithm causing the problem and not any incompetence on my part.
So today I did it the good old fashioned way and went to the local branch of the bank the hockey club uses and paid the Flinders University Hockey Club my SAHA insurance fee and first installment of club fees about noon.
Later I telephoned Soyth Australian Hockey Association head office and explained the predicament and that I have now paid my fees and SAHA insurance fee direct to the Flinders University Hockey Club and that I would like to be registered to play this Saturday and that it would be unreasonable for SAHA to expect me to do that online.
I politely made it clear that it was now the responsibility of SAHA to liaise with the Flinders University Hockey Club and ensure my player registration occurred & the young whippersnapper acquiesced.
The Flinders University Hockey Club M6 team is playing at 12:30 pm at Adelaide Hills Hockey Club, Mt Barker.
These are new grounds built as part of a major upgrade to the Mt Barker Community Sports Centre that's related to federal grant funding secured by the Election of independent MP for Mayo Rebekha Sharkie, whom I supported as a volunteer & scrutineer in her three victorious Election campaigns.
So it's a fortuitous coincidence that my first Hockey game will be at Mt Barker in two days.
Back to my Jeeves duties tomorrow for my Young Unicorn Chap & his visiting enthusiastic young whippersnapper ladies, his pets, Alice the cat & young puppy Cosmos a most priveliged black curly haired English gun dog. Cosmos is a energetic Scallywag and heaps of fun, he also creates a good deal of extra cleaning work, which is to be encouraged imho.
En Avante Mes Amis

MajorMitchell
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Re: Mini~Xu, Scooter and Dusty Balzac, Scallywags Playing Golf in No Man's Land

#3 Post by MajorMitchell » Thu Apr 29, 2021 12:22 pm

I also have the befuddled BlighterDalekBots absolutely bamboozled in a game called Au Revoir and it's Autumn retreats in the year I move from having seventeen scs to having twenty one scs​ & complete victory, Huzzah.

Wusti
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Re: Mini~Xu, Scooter and Dusty Balzac, Scallywags Playing Golf in No Man's Land

#4 Post by Wusti » Thu Apr 29, 2021 2:46 pm

You're a weird bloke MM. Where do you actually live? In SA?

MajorMitchell
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Re: Mini~Xu, Scooter and Dusty Balzac, Scallywags Playing Golf in No Man's Land

#5 Post by MajorMitchell » Thu Apr 29, 2021 3:36 pm

Eccentric is a more genteel description. I live in my battered Beach Shack in Flyblown Gully by the Sea near Paradise Lost Cove on the Fleurieu Peninsula South Australia about 90km south of Adelaide's southern suburbs.
Check out the YouTube video Nick Gooch posted.. "Dusty's Surgical Enhancement Packs" and share it across the Interweb

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Re: Mini~Xu, Scooter and Dusty Balzac, Scallywags Playing Golf in No Man's Land

#6 Post by Wusti » Thu Apr 29, 2021 11:55 pm

Mate, I am from "The Shire" in Sydney, Land of Pentecostal Prime Ministers and Race Riots, being a throwback to 1960's White Australia.

I make no pretensions of being remotely genteel ;)

MajorMitchell
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Re: Mini~Xu, Scooter and Dusty Balzac, Scallywags Playing Golf in No Man's Land

#7 Post by MajorMitchell » Mon May 03, 2021 8:42 am

I empathise Austin, you are trapped between Pauly's Fat Pizza distopia and those who regard Ray Hadley as an intellectual. That's why Kathy Lette had Puberty Blues & fled to Europe to marry expat Australian Geoffrey Robertson QC. Some might regard her behaviour as overcompensation, others as quite rational.

I think there's a huge untapped potential clientele in Synney's urban sprawl suffering from both Irritable & Neglected P**is Syndrome and Irritable & Neglected V**Ina Syndrome ready for Dusty Balzac's Do It Yourself Surgical Enhancement Kits.

MajorMitchell
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Re: Mini~Xu, Scooter and Dusty Balzac, Scallywags Playing Golf in No Man's Land

#8 Post by MajorMitchell » Mon May 03, 2021 8:44 am

That damn software changed wusti to Austin, does it think I am conversing with a vintage English motorised charabanc?

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Re: Mini~Xu, Scooter and Dusty Balzac, Scallywags Playing Golf in No Man's Land

#9 Post by MajorMitchell » Mon May 03, 2021 8:45 am

In Texas?

MajorMitchell
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Re: Mini~Xu, Scooter and Dusty Balzac, Scallywags Playing Golf in No Man's Land

#10 Post by MajorMitchell » Thu May 06, 2021 5:53 am

Lot's of adventures, performed at Diverse City nightclub last night. At my young whippersnapper Unicorn Chap's residence in garden. About to go do painting and plaster work in front Hall. Joined several stalled BlighterDalekBot games where BlighterDalekBots have been expelled & the games are listed in droves in Open Games. No doubt my RR is inevitably going to suffer, LoL.

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Re: Mini~Xu, Scooter and Dusty Balzac, Scallywags Playing Golf in No Man's Land

#11 Post by MajorMitchell » Thu May 06, 2021 2:20 pm

Gosh whippersnappers, I will start with the news that Comedian Nick Gooch made a YouTube video called Dusty's Surgical Enhancement Packs and posted it on the interweb.
I joined them for a day if unplanned filming, it was a learning experience because they took me to an appalling location, so I refused to stay & participate in their "Boardwalk Empire" spoof & drove about 500m to a level carparking location and while I waited I set up a crude set with Daffy props and when they came along after doing their Boardwalk Empire spoof it was a bit like that Nirvana song.. here we are, entertain us..
So I acted foolishly and did a bit of a comedy routine I am working on, about young whippersnappers facing inevitable infertility and Dusty Balzac Institute Surgical Enhancement Kits.
Nick Gooch is a good fellow but didn't give me any input on editing etc, so he spelt Balzac incorrectly as Ballsack and there are other aspects of the video that I don't like.
So it's a learning experience, get my own camera & camera operator, make, edit and post myself and retain control.

Hockey on Saturday at Mt Barker was excellent fun. On the preceding evening I was too excited, I knew wouldn't sleep and went out and did a night time photo video shooting session in a superb location with lots of floodlights in Paradise Lost Cove, near an old Railway Station opposite the Pokies Bar of a hotel & came home at 2am exhausted and slept until 10:30.
Left my battered Shack about 11:20 am & drove to Mt Barker arriving at Adelaide Hills Hockey Club field at 12:25pm for 12:30pm start, knowing I was on reserves bench.
The coach kept me on the reserves bench until about twenty minutes into a 35 minute first half, then sent me on at right inner, not centre forward which is what I wanted. Well the team attacked as I took my place & got a penalty corner.
For Fledglings who do not understand modern field hockey, a penalty corner is given when a defender commits a breach of the rules inside the goal scoring half circle. The goalkeeper and four defenders have to stand behind the base line, the other six players from their team have to go and stand on the "far side" of the centre line of the field.

The attacking side, start with the ball on the base line five yards inside point where goal scoring half circle meets base line. Defenders behind base line cannot come within five yards of where the ball is placed.
So one attacking player is tasked with starting the short corner at this position.with the ball.
The attacking team can send as many players as it likes up for the penalty corner, they just have to be outside the goal scoring half circle prior to the penalty corner starting.
The umpire blows his whistle when both sides are ready to start & the ball is pushed usually, can be hit out to a receiver who must stop the ball outside the goal scoring half circle.
The receiver can move the ball into the goal scoring half circle & have a shot at goal immediately, if it's a "flick" any height is OK.
If it's a hit, it cannot be hit higher than 18 inches above field surface for safety reasons.
Or the receiver, after stopping the ball outside the goal scoring half circle, can pass the ball to any team members now inside the goal scoring half circle and they can have a shot, the same conditions for flick or hit still apply.
Well Tim Buxton an old hockey Comrade from.our Golden Oldies Masters Hockey team, 2014 premiership winners, was the receiver & told me to start standing to his left as we faced the goals. I ran in, he passed the ball to me after stopping it correctly, and with my first "touches of the ball in action" I had a shit and scored the first goal of the game. A short time later Tim Buxton scored a goal from field play setting up the team's first win of the season after three losses, a two goals to nil victory

MajorMitchell
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Re: Mini~Xu, Scooter and Dusty Balzac, Scallywags Playing Golf in No Man's Land

#12 Post by MajorMitchell » Fri May 07, 2021 2:36 am

Saturday's Hockey game was great fun & now the young whippersnappers in the team who hadn't seen me play before have seen that I can score a goal and I have some credibility with them & the coach. So I went to training on Tuesday night and performed at Diverse City nightclub open mic night on Wednesday, did a 12 minute monologue.
I did "Floorshow at Country Roadhouse Truckstop on a Saturday morning" skit ~it went OK but wasn't really good enough in present form. It was OK for the audience that night. Safe.
I was going to do a more risky skit, the "young whippersnappers facing Infertility and Irritable Neglected Penis Syndrome" with the two hand puppets, but the audience wasn't the right audience for that.

I do not like my whiskers but persist in letting them grow for this possible very small part in Roman film project. They are 98% white yet Princess Estelle had the audacity to say that I look younger with them than I did clean shaven.
There's​ sadder, confused and frustrating parts to my current existence & hostile elements on several fronts.
This weekend's Hockey game for me is on Sunday at 12:30 at Woodville Hockey Club.
I will do the engine oil & filter change on my trusty Freedom Wagon today. My pale blue 1974 Mercedes PanzerBenz SLE 350 has a new owner, DipComrade Darren, financial stress caused it's sale recently. Decades of fun and hundreds of thousands of miles with me ended.

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Re: Mini~Xu, Scooter and Dusty Balzac, Scallywags Playing Golf in No Man's Land

#13 Post by MajorMitchell » Wed May 19, 2021 5:52 pm

Well a lot has happened in the nearly two weeks since my last post. Two more games of Hockey but no more goals scored alas. Playing ok and having fun.
There's been some bleak times. Two more performances at Diverse City nightclub open mic nights.
I was my harshest critic of last week's performance and spent a lot of time working on new material.
Came up with a piece called Porky Pickles Headlines at Her Majesty's Theatre & Bombs
It's derivative tribute to Lenny Bruce The Palladium routine.
It went well. Needs tweaking refining practice yet it's solid good & got a good amount of laughter from audience on its first run & there were four other experienced Comedians performing & a new Chum on his first go.
Went out afterwards to Exeter Hotel former Liberal State MP Rob Kerin purchased me my second Talisker Single Malt Scotch Whisky.
Got home at 2 am~ish and have been catching up on my Diplomacy games.
Then this brief post, now it's 3:20.am and today I'm driving from Flyblown Gully by the Sea to Adelaide to do Jeeves duties for my Young Bachelor Unicorn Chap.
Friday night Enigma Bar open mic night, not sure if I will get on the Bill. Will try. Will.probably go and do Jeeves duties on Friday then try Enigma Bar.
Au Revoir & Bon Soir Mes Amis

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Re: Mini~Xu, Scooter and Dusty Balzac, Scallywags Playing Golf in No Man's Land

#14 Post by MajorMitchell » Wed May 19, 2021 5:54 pm

Porky Pickles Headlines at Her Majesty's Theatre & Bombs is going to get stronger in it's Satirical condemnation of Australian Comedian Austen Tayshus as, imho, a racist dinosaur

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Re: Mini~Xu, Scooter and Dusty Balzac, Scallywags Playing Golf in No Man's Land

#15 Post by Wusti » Thu May 20, 2021 2:36 am

How much can a Koala bear?

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Re: Mini~Xu, Scooter and Dusty Balzac, Scallywags Playing Golf in No Man's Land

#16 Post by Wusti » Thu May 20, 2021 2:37 am

B side of Australiana was mildly amusing.

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Re: Mini~Xu, Scooter and Dusty Balzac, Scallywags Playing Golf in No Man's Land

#17 Post by MajorMitchell » Wed Jun 02, 2021 5:16 pm

I performed Porky Pickles Headlines at Her Majesty's Theatre & Bombs at Diverse City twice to different audiences & it went well. Then I tried a new open mic night venue, Spoken N Slurred at Broadcast Bar on Sunday & had my first proper Christian Performance Death on Stage.
As it's now 2:42am Thursday local time, last night I did another open mic night at Diverse City, used new jokes to open & went really well, then did a routine I haven't done for quite a while, my Ethical dillema at Adelaide Casino Taxi rank with practical solution routine and it went well with audience. Two good Magic acts shared the$Aus100 first prize so $50 each. I edged out two other Standup Comedians for the $20 second prize.
Then drove slowly 90 km back to my battered Beach Shack in Flyblown Gully by the Sea. Saw a young Skippy in middle of road in Mt Compass & drove slowly past the young whippersnapper.

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Re: Mini~Xu, Scooter and Dusty Balzac, Scallywags Playing Golf in No Man's Land

#18 Post by MajorMitchell » Wed Jun 02, 2021 5:23 pm

I have been extra busy lately, losing flab and fat a bit up & down emotionally but determined to persist at the Performing Comedic Artist caper. First Court appearance for assaulting a private security guard working for new Chinese Consulate in Joslin is soon, Thursday 17th June, and I have paid Peter Salerno $50 for a ticket to fundraising dinner and show for Nepalese Community on Friday 18th June, not sure if I will be performing, but optimistic about being free on bail and able to attend with amusing anecdotes about the, in my opinion, false and vexatious complaint by Chinese Consulate & my legal campaign to exonerate myself and then claim compensation.

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Re: Mini~Xu, Scooter and Dusty Balzac, Scallywags Playing Golf in No Man's Land

#19 Post by Wusti » Thu Jun 03, 2021 1:05 am

So what did you actually do to said Vexatious chinaman?

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Re: Mini~Xu, Scooter and Dusty Balzac, Scallywags Playing Golf in No Man's Land

#20 Post by taylor4 » Fri Jun 04, 2021 5:17 pm

'More matter with less art' - Omlet

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