MyLFB MemSahib.discovers Doomsday Preppers

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MajorMitchell
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MyLFB MemSahib.discovers Doomsday Preppers

#1 Post by MajorMitchell » Sun Apr 05, 2020 3:38 pm

My Lovely Fire Breathing MemSahib Her Serene Imperiousness Indoors whom I wish would return to lounging on a sofa eating cakes has been wielding her Field Marshall's Baton.with considerable vigour as she.prepares for the collapse of civilisation due to the CV19 pandemic.

Regrettably Her Serene Imperiousness Indoors has discovered the cult of Doomsday Preppers.

Crikey, I'm due on a night patrol in ten minutes.
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taylor4
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Re: MyLFB MemSahib.discovers Doomsday Preppers

#2 Post by taylor4 » Sun Apr 05, 2020 7:44 pm

In USA some parties urging closure of remaining open gun stores as apparent Looting and other Crimes occur, anecdotal and web info indicate. This is 3rd hand data of course.
But look for the Harvard Man in charge of Handing out Vital things as well as Tiddlywinks to urge the Wharton Man (aka Commander-in-Chief to blame & continue to slaughter the innocent.
The Apocalyptic/Doomsday talk involves a religious Rapture; but what happens with amputated limbs and dental removals, or for that matter our baby teeth. The cultus must be preserved intact saieth Jupiter Pluvius and he only answers to Juno and the other Nobodyaloft who farted and belched and coughed [Apologies to Wm Blake aficionadosssssssssssssss

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Re: MyLFB MemSahib.discovers Doomsday Preppers

#3 Post by Octavious » Sun Apr 05, 2020 9:51 pm

MajorMitchell wrote:
Sun Apr 05, 2020 3:38 pm
Regrettably Her Serene Imperiousness Indoors has discovered the cult of Doomsday Preppers.
I feel your pain, brother. Mrs Oct was bad enough when she discovered the stash of emergency chocolate I had hidden in the under stairs cupboard. God knows what she would have done if she discovered me harbouring a cult.

Where did you keep them? Garden shed? Basement?
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Re: MyLFB MemSahib.discovers Doomsday Preppers

#4 Post by MajorMitchell » Mon Apr 06, 2020 4:40 am

I'm trapped in some grotesque distortion of Dad's Army. Three night patrols last night at one am, second at three am & four thirty.to Dawn to check observation posts & perimeter defenses.
Cook's assistant Sally has been promoted to Pantry Maid in reward for shooting two feral cats lurking around the chook sheds on separate.nights. I've learned to deliberately announce my approach to be recognised clearly when approaching her bunker with considerable caution at night. That careful approach gives Sally and her partner from the gardening staff ample time to complete their activities & be ready for inspection.
I've felt an increasing gratitude to former Australian Prime Minister John Howard and the State leaders & others who reformed our gun ownership laws in the 1990s. Thankfully those Laws now prohibit my Adorable Fire Breathing MemSahib Her Serene Martial Imperiousness from purchasing weaponry with extraordinary rates of fire, land mines etc etc. Although the ferocity of Her Serene Martial Imperiousness's knitting might indicate some ghastly design of knitting a damnable weapon.. the knitting needle grenade or sewing machine improvised explosive device.
If only my garden strolls were like those of earlier times when a chap could chip a few golf balls about instead of having to prod the ground continuously to avoid the Punji pits with sharpened bamboo waiting to spit the unwary pedestrian.

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Re: MyLFB MemSahib.discovers Doomsday Preppers

#5 Post by MajorMitchell » Mon Apr 06, 2020 5:16 am

Entrancing Princess Estelle's perfumed parlour, lounge & salon are a sanctuary of solace, a calm.oasis of peace. "Revolution overwhelmed the Tsars of Russia but their jewellery survives." is one of Beautiful​ Princess Estelle's​ maxims illustrating her optimism.

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Re: MyLFB MemSahib.discovers Doomsday Preppers

#6 Post by brainbomb » Mon Apr 06, 2020 7:35 am

Where in the world is
carmen
sandiego
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MajorMitchell
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Re: MyLFB MemSahib.discovers Doomsday Preppers

#7 Post by MajorMitchell » Mon Apr 06, 2020 12:23 pm

It's a sombre evening on the domestic front, I've had to have a crack at the CPR chest compressions caper this afternoon on the neighbours gardener. I was on my way out to pick up a book from the local library & pay some council rates, visit a hardware store etc and had only driven a short distance and saw the gardener collapsed in Widow P's front gate.
Thankfully he had not been shot by the enthusiastic defenders of western civilisation led by my Adorable Martial Fire Breathing Mem Sahib.
I summoned the ambulance service and grimly did the required tasks for about fifteen minutes. Multiple ambulance service vehicles arrived and it was a considerable relief to be able to step away from the unresponsive body.
I hung about for fifty minutes and then left to attend to my tasks. Plod rang me and arranged an interview and that has occurred. I'm now (briefly) holding the high moral ground vis a vis Her Serene Imperiousness Indoors & staff. I've made it clear in short succinct comments that I shall be given privacy & not be disturbed by their trivialities tonight.

A clarification for Octavious. Thankfully these Doomsday preppers are an external threat to this point. They were "discovered" by MLFB Memsahib in the sense that MLFB Memsahib has watched documentary television programmes about them and their cult and gained a crude understanding of their practices, enthusiasms and philosophies.
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Re: MyLFB MemSahib.discovers Doomsday Preppers

#8 Post by Octavious » Mon Apr 06, 2020 12:56 pm

Practices, enthusiasms, and philosophies? I thought it was all beans and guns.

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Re: MyLFB MemSahib.discovers Doomsday Preppers

#9 Post by taylor4 » Mon Apr 06, 2020 4:04 pm

"[J]ewellry survives"
La Vielle Russie, a Fifth AVE shop devoted to Russian antiquities of worth, including those Eggs & other favorites of the Tsar's extended family and the landed aristocracy -. the shop has gone the way of all flesh, it appears.
The demise of the storefront, near famed Pierre & Plaza hotels & opposite the gilded St Gaudens statue of Victory leading the equestrian USA Union GEN William Tecumseh Sherman -, the demise was due to apparent economic pressures previous to COVID-19.
There were occasionally ikons displayed in the exterior windows & everything of value was whisked away at eventide.
Above the shop is the Sherry-Netherland, a luxe bldg. An entire flat on an upper storey had been home to actor Gary Cooper's widow.

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Re: MyLFB MemSahib.discovers Doomsday Preppers

#10 Post by MajorMitchell » Tue Apr 07, 2020 2:45 am

I suspect that the deceased gardener may have eaten beans or similar fart inducing foods.. I described the poor chap as being unresponsive during my chest pumping which is incorrect. The only responses I was able to provoke were a prodigious fart from the body and a steadily increasing change in face colour to a grey/blue.
Another conclusion that I have made is that role playing in First Aid courses is inaccurate, persons, myself included when playing the patient are cooperative "pretend" patients, we raise an elbow to make it easier for a fellow student to slip the sling under it or similarly​ aid in small ways their efforts.
I know that I didn't do things exactly as I was instructed & practiced when in First Aid courses. I wonder if "my patient" might have recovered if I had, or if the poor chap deserved a better person morally to provide First Aid instead of an old sinful heretic, I wasn't able to successfully summon divine intervention.(I'm assuming that the prodigious fart had natural causes, or if that was divine assistance then my unworthiness was signalled via sphincter.. a damning inditement).
Maybe I blew an opportunity to save the poor chap, if I get another chance I'm going to definitely need to do better and make fewer mistakes.

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Re: MyLFB MemSahib.discovers Doomsday Preppers

#11 Post by Octavious » Tue Apr 07, 2020 7:07 am

Nonsense, Major. The cold hard reality is that most people who reach the point that they need CPR will die. The first aider is the last throw of the dice. A very worthwhile throw, but worthiness does not increase your chances of rolling a double six. I have no doubt that your efforts were robust, and I would be highly reassured if someone like yourself were present to roll the dice for me if I needed it.

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Re: MyLFB MemSahib.discovers Doomsday Preppers

#12 Post by taylor4 » Wed Apr 08, 2020 6:07 pm

About the age of 10 or 11, our instructions included "First Aid."
Snakebite - we live in an area with only introduced or pet venomous snakes.
One thing standing out was that "A dirty bandage is better than a dead patient."
Most of the other First Aiding has been superseded, especially CPR. The instructor subsequently turned on the gas, killing a child, their dog and herself.

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Re: MyLFB MemSahib.discovers Doomsday Preppers

#13 Post by MajorMitchell » Thu Apr 09, 2020 9:30 am

You're correct Octavious with your observation that I had virtually zero chance of resucitating/reviving the poor chap. I think the delay between his collapse.and me first seeing him & then starting on him after ringing ambulance was just too long. I might have shaved a minute off the time but I don't think it would have made any difference.
Nevertheless, having been put through the experience I am exploiting it for maximum benefit on the domestic front. MLFB Memsahib, Her Serene Imperiousness Indoors & full of Feminine Guiles & Cunning is scheming to purchase several compressed gas powered Dart guns as used to anaesthise large wild critters and associated drug darts.

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Re: MyLFB MemSahib.discovers Doomsday Preppers

#14 Post by MajorMitchell » Thu Apr 09, 2020 9:31 am

Gosh that's a poorly constructed last sentence.

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