Aircraft Carrier Sales, Get Yours NOW!

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MajorMitchell
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Aircraft Carrier Sales, Get Yours NOW!

#1 Post by MajorMitchell » Tue May 25, 2021 2:27 pm

Don't be left behind by the Royal Navy and it's new aircraft carrier or Xi Jinpeng's latest models of nuclear powered aircraft carriers. Avoid embarrassment at the Cowes Regatta or at Monaco.
At Aircraft Carrier Sales an Armada of aircraft carriers are available for purchase, from Do It Yourself Kits for the Fledglings to build & play Imperialist Warmonger with at Kindergarten to more advanced models for enthusiastic boat builders.
Or there are ready to go units available for the busy Warlord.

Stop being bullied at work or at home~ Enjoy life afloat with concubines in International Waters as your drones deliver thermo nuclear weapons in laser targeted air strikes on your Oppressors at work or at home.

For Space Enthusiasts we have our new Do It Yourself Mars Mission* kits, don't let Elon Musk or Dicky Virgin beat you to the best Martian Real Estate ~ a bargain at one hundred & fifty billion US dollars.

*only good for one way use, batteries not included.
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biggerarmydiplomacy
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Re: Aircraft Carrier Sales, Get Yours NOW!

#2 Post by biggerarmydiplomacy » Tue May 25, 2021 2:54 pm

Hello?
Yes I would like two order 2 carriers and 500 thermonuclear weapons please.
Shipping (xD) included?
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Szpoti
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Re: Aircraft Carrier Sales, Get Yours NOW!

#3 Post by Szpoti » Tue May 25, 2021 3:38 pm

Please be aware that transactions closed on this website will entail a 5% commission fee, payable within 15 nanoseconds.
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JECE
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Re: Aircraft Carrier Sales, Get Yours NOW!

#4 Post by JECE » Tue May 25, 2021 3:45 pm

Shipping is how they get you every time! Last time that I wanted to buy drones equipped with thermonuclear warheads I only made it to the checkout screen. I had to cancel my order when I saw the absolutely outrageous 10 :points: shipping fee per drone! Can you even imagine?

At least with the aircraft carriers the shipping lanes are already paid for.
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Jamiet99uk
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Re: Aircraft Carrier Sales, Get Yours NOW!

#5 Post by Jamiet99uk » Wed May 26, 2021 7:13 pm

Do you also sell genuine non-genuine fake novelty real passports, or oil paintings?
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MajorMitchell
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Re: Aircraft Carrier Sales, Get Yours NOW!

#6 Post by MajorMitchell » Thu May 27, 2021 11:50 am

The more luxurious models do feature in Warlord Admiral's Suites numerous garish and obscene paintings with what is described as "Brothel~shiek" (,the "h" & "e" are silent, not pronounced unless customers are in earshot, then they are pronounced)
Fake documentation abounds most notably in all technical support, certification of instruments, (*navigation systems documents an avalanche of unintelligible jargonese) operating instructions, warranty documents & insurance policies, so passports are naturally included with Officers Qualifications

MajorMitchell
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Re: Aircraft Carrier Sales, Get Yours NOW!

#7 Post by MajorMitchell » Thu May 27, 2021 12:02 pm

Thanks BiggerArmyDiplomat for your confident order. Corruption in Xi Jinpeng's shipyards allows us to deliver two as new Aircraft Carriers to the tax haven in international waters of your choice* with a modest delivery fee of $US10,000 per nautical mile after the first two thousand nautical miles from Shanghai towards your chosen tax haven in international waters.
* Tax havens within a two thousand nautical mile proximity of the PRC are excluded from available destinations.
The usual payment arrangements apply, one third in gold bullion, one third in proper US Dollars trusted by the Christian God or Bwitish Currency in small denomination notes, well that's all their notes really, with non sequential numbers and one third as human slaves to the specifications in Sales Brochures.

MajorMitchell
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Re: Aircraft Carrier Sales, Get Yours NOW!

#8 Post by MajorMitchell » Thu May 27, 2021 12:06 pm

If you can provide refugee documentation a complete crew will happily sail your new Aircraft Carriers with resolute promptitude from Shanghai to delivery​ location

MajorMitchell
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Re: Aircraft Carrier Sales, Get Yours NOW!

#9 Post by MajorMitchell » Thu May 27, 2021 12:08 pm

Well thats what you tell us, hint hint nudge nudge & we tell them, luxurious Freedom awaits.. press gang them with alacrity is our recommendation

biggerarmydiplomacy
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Re: Aircraft Carrier Sales, Get Yours NOW!

#10 Post by biggerarmydiplomacy » Thu May 27, 2021 12:17 pm

Well that sounds great, though I meant to ask:
Do you offer insurance for your products in case the may become *damaged*. And what about the liabilities on those nukes? About the whole slavetrade thing: uncool man, but I have to offer indentured serfs with their respective plot of land in east Alabama.
Now, Delivery is a tricky thing of course. Some advise me to ask for delivery in Rome, others in Mekka. But I would like to arrange the handover somewhere, where no one is watching. So how about a rendezvous near the Auckland Islands, either on Disappointment Island or further north, near Mt. Hooker. Or maybe further south near Mt. Dick. You decide.

MajorMitchell
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Re: Aircraft Carrier Sales, Get Yours NOW!

#11 Post by MajorMitchell » Thu May 27, 2021 3:57 pm

I keep forgetting that the new description of slaves is gig economy workers. Regrettably Smurfs and/or Serfs from East Kentucky are not considered to be adequately domesticated as they are de~evolving towards primitive feral states

MajorMitchell
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Re: Aircraft Carrier Sales, Get Yours NOW!

#12 Post by MajorMitchell » Thu May 27, 2021 4:02 pm

Rome is quite suitable, the Vatican does have exorbitant fees yet provides superb highly experienced enabling services for unorthodox business transactions.

MajorMitchell
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Re: Aircraft Carrier Sales, Get Yours NOW!

#13 Post by MajorMitchell » Thu May 27, 2021 4:07 pm

The Vatican has a proven performance record where no witnesses or corroborating evidence can be found for innumerable activities that occur with disturbing frequency with it's active participation.
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PRINCE WILLIAM
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Re: Aircraft Carrier Sales, Get Yours NOW!

#14 Post by PRINCE WILLIAM » Fri May 28, 2021 12:25 pm

Keep away from the Holy See. To paraphrase Tolkien: Do not meddle in the affairs of cardinals, for they are subtle and quick to anger!
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brainbomb
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Re: Aircraft Carrier Sales, Get Yours NOW!

#15 Post by brainbomb » Mon Jul 12, 2021 7:10 pm

:points:

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