webdiplomacy.net

So I am one of the managers of a restaurant. It’s stressful, I get that. But recently it’s been miserable. I freelance write in my free time as I make enough doing that to pay my bills. Should I quit the job I hate? Or is there something to be said for pushing on and having a stable regular weekly job?

And if your curious why it sucks. I’m not the highest ranked manager; and she is the worst leader I have met. She doesn’t hold anyone to standards until she is mad at them for something and then she only holds them to standards. She lies blatantly to corporate and falsifies documents. She’s literally the worst type of person. I’m just getting tired of walking on eggshells and watching her be terrible. Not to mention that today she gave me my first disciplinary action in 3 years because a week ago I made a managerial decision to skip a weekly detail task as our sales were low and labor wasn’t looking right. It’s just not worth it. Thank you for letting me vent. :)

Set the place on fire

If you quit your job you must assume that you won't have any additional income apart from your current freelancing income for a few months unless you were to receive supplementary unemployment income (which you're probably disqualified from). Unless you have guaranteed extra freelance work, which I'm assuming you don't because, well, freelance writing. Even if you did get extra work, could you make it sustainable? I'm assuming the answer is also no because only 10% of freelance writers actually work more than 40 hours a week. In short, I'm advising no unless you have enough work, another week job, or are ahead in your savings. Don't get caught up in thinking your life will be less stressful if you quit a stressful job. Statistics show a strong correlation that having stress increases the less money you have. Happiness usually peaks around the above-average middle-class wage, which I'm guessing you're not far off from being a restaurant manager and free-lance writer.

There was one job where I hated my manager. He came about 6 months into me working at a drug store. It was a monthly event that he fired one of the female managers. He was a sexist pig that liked to have something of an entourage of employees, a few young men, following him during work. He smoked half a pack a cigarettes a day and denied the harmful effects of smoking, saying it didn't cause lung cancer (remember this is a drug store). Much worse, he was actually the district manager of a well-known drug store in a high-profile area of the US.

I basically never talked with him about anything except about work. Maybe it's my personality, but I just managed to keep everything inside without ever letting my real feelings come out. I would leave the room if he came if I didn't need to be there. Maybe you could just avoid her like I did?

Its always easier to find a job when you have a job. Unless you’re considering going back to school or a travel year or fully investing heavier in your freelance writing or something, best to just start putting feelers out while you endure this a bit longer.

She may view you as a threat.

Take her job.

Durga wrote: ↑

Fri Feb 09, 2018 3:03 am

Set the place on fire

this.

You want to vent, but you also seem to want my advice, so from someone who has had five different retail jobs, including a couple as management, I have some for you:

a) There is no shortage of retail jobs out there. I acknowledge that some places are a little bit thinner on open work than others, but there are always retail jobs available, especially this time of year and especially if you are willing to leave management to go back to a "lesser" role like serving or driving or whatever. Once you have one of those and you have management experience, getting back into management is not difficult, but I've actually found that with my latest job, going back into management would be taking a drastic pay cut for drastically increased responsibilities and less flexibility over my hours.

b) You should not pressure yourself into staying at a job you hate. If you have to give it a few weeks or a month or whatever to make sure that you're all set, that's great, but shitty jobs just make life suck, more than having less money. If you're realistic about what you can go get and in what timeframe, you'll be okay.

c) As a rather dedicated photographer and someone that happens to prefer freelance over contracted work, it doesn't pay the bills. Never will. It pays for the time and that's it. Maybe freelance writing is a little bit different, but I doubt it.

All the advice was Good. Appreciate it. I think I’m going to go with durgas. But add the caveat that I burn it with the manager in question inside. -_-

Get any other job so you have some income to help pay bills. Then rat her out to upper management to burn her. Whatever happens to her, you are gone to avoid more stress.

CommanderByron..you allege that this person falsified documents. Get copies..get the evidence that shows this. But don't confront her. Start discreetly looking for a new employer. If you're seriously considering leaving then put in a frugal month / 6 weeks, keep working, pay bills & save some money. What's your leave/ holiday situation ? Do you have accrued annual leave you could take ? Would it be paid out if you resigned ?
If you decide to leave/resign then fine, but don't let emotions shape the way you leave..do that carefully so you are not inconvenienced / lose money...do it on your terms & the best way is by getting another job to go to.. Employers invariably prefer to get someone who is already employed.
Then when you resign you can drop the "problem person" in serious trouble.. make it clear that they caused you to look elsewhere for employment and if you have evidence of this falsification of documents then don't make the unambiguous allegations, but "express concern at a possible governance issue"
Basically.. don't get mad, get even

Oops.. express concern... governance..AND submit the evidence if you resign

Okay. MM that’s a good perspective. I think I’m falling on that option. I don’t have leave or paid holiday (this company is trash to its employees I won’t throw them under the bus because I do like the food and business model just if you aren’t THE main restaurant manager you are pretty much an underpaid and over worked employee.

Of course asking advice from Diplomacy players would lead to suggestions of backstabbing and vengeance. You’d get better advice asking on Craigslist.

Craigslist would suggest I offer her erotic comfort for a low price, or sell her a used Toyota for 800$ more than the blue book value.

Well CommanderByron​ good luck. Here's some thoughts you might consider. First, find your own "circuit breaker" song ( or something else ) to use when you're stressed by this "unhelpful work colleague". Eg. I've used the first few lines of an old song.. "Up, up and away, in my beautiful, my beautiful balloon" so that instead of calling some incompetent grocer's clerk "A blithering cork brained clown" I managed to make a more diplomatic response . Just "singing a few lines in my head/ to myself" depending on circumstances switches my thoughts from frustration to "I've got a plan to deal with this"
I've got at least two dozen ditties & songs I use exclusively on these lines with The Fire Breathing MemSahib

If you are swinging towards the "find a different job" decision then that is an opportunity for you CB, so you could make a planned, organised shift towards work that is more rewarding .. financially​ & in other ways.
Don't display "disaffected employee" at work in your current job.. make a point of doing your work well.. it's working on your "CV & references", it conceals your intentions from your current employer.
You might think about the businesses that "do business with your current employer" as potential alternative employers as well as the business rivals of your current employer... Amongst these businesses you might find great opportunities "staying within industry / current career path".
Then there are the opportunities to make a bigger change of career and industry.
You could consider starting your own business, in the food caper using your experience etc or in a new field.

Have you considered consulting Steephie's "Random experts" on great New business opportunities ?

Does your employer have a "whistleblower" policy? If you have evidence of falsified records then that would be a good way to go. It should be anonymous and could create an opportunity for you to take a step up.