M~M falls head first into unforgiving hard floor

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MajorMitchell
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Re: M~M falls head first into unforgiving hard floor

#61 Post by MajorMitchell » Fri Aug 07, 2020 4:34 pm

A CalamityJane~ish Whippersnapper? A Fruedian Whippersnapper or Jungian?

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Re: M~M falls head first into unforgiving hard floor

#62 Post by MajorMitchell » Mon Aug 10, 2020 7:54 pm

What Ho from frosty Flyblown Farm. We're excited about more coming widespread rains across WA and Central.& Eastern Australia. CV19.has escaped into the public community in Victoria causing dramatic shutdowns and restrictions.
The frosty nights are great for knocking the fly population on the head.y newly knitted & knotted dressing gown is purportedly complete. I've been persuaded* to wear the garish item with it's many clashing colours and unfortunately caught sight in a mirror of the ensemble of misshapen pinkwooly beanie, Dressing Gown of many clashing colours, notably bilious greenish hues, maroon, puce and brown swathes, long beige pockets with pink.trimmimgs placed to provide a skilled contortionist.with some difficulties of usage.
(* in the sense of given a choice of obedience and having food or non compliance and hunger constituting persuasion)
It was worth suffering the humiliations to get a bowl.of hot porridge, toast with Apricot jam and two oranges.
I had a unsettling dream, I was a dragonfly caught in a spider's web and the more I wiggled about the tighter I became bound in the web. I woke up mid dream and found myself completely tangled in woollen threads.
It turned out to be the tangled remains of the grey and yellow .knitted and knotted cardigan LPE conjured up for me and an unravelled formerly knitted knotted lingerie item in bright red wool. After extricating myself I placed the evidence near the dogs beds in hopes of framing those canine blighters but it didn't work. So now I address those dogs as Stool Pigeon & Singing Canary.

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Re: M~M falls head first into unforgiving hard floor

#63 Post by MajorMitchell » Wed Aug 12, 2020 1:48 am

Stool Pigeon & Singing Canary are aware of being in slight disgrace and being sycophants seeking approval. The good news is that Comrade Trucky has decided that my trusty pale blue Mercedes PanzerBenz needs new high quality replacement engine mounts & new sparkplugs and leads, so he and young whippersnapper Sprocket the Rocket are going to spend a day doing the work at Flyblown Farm.
Which means my adorable and loving captors have to present me for independent inspection and almost properly fed and attired. Freedom for a few hours within certain limitations beckons, Hoorah!!!

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Re: M~M falls head first into unforgiving hard floor

#64 Post by MajorMitchell » Tue Aug 18, 2020 9:30 am

My adorable and formidable feminine captors have cunningly requested that Comrade Trucky and young whippersnapper Sprocket the Rocket be Plague tested before visiting Flyblown Farm to service my trusty pale blue Mercedes PanzerBenz .
In retaliation I coerced the Gardening Staff into demanding everyone at Flyblown Farm be Plague tested including building workers and Flyblown Farm is now a temporary quarantine zone. It cost me over half the secret funds gained from punting in thumping bribes.
Nevertheless external circumstances have created an opportunity for me to exploit my Most Beautiful and Martial Fire Breathing MemSahib's interests in the Australian Wine Industry.
Her Dear old Daddy, may his eternal soul be forgiven, had an intimate relationship with Bachus and bequeathed his vineyards amongst his heirs and successors, notably Her Serene Imperiousness Indoors lounging on a Sofa eating Cakes.
The Chinese Communist Party controlled PRC has attacked the Australian Wine Industry as part of its use of trade sanctions etc in it's attempts to bully our nation into subservience.
So I plan on proposing that Lovely Princess Estelle, myself, Comrade Trucky, young whippersnapper Sprocket the Rocket and interested staff from Flyblown Farm engage in peaceful protests outside the local State Consular Offices of the PRC , in a combination protest expressing our support for pro~democracy protestors in Hong Kong, our opposition to the oppression of the Uighar community, to the Tibetan people and these actions by the PRC that seek to bully Australia.
I will seduce Lovely Princess Estelle with this idea first, hint of a stay in luxury in much closer proximity to her favourite retail outlets & away from Flyblown Farm, and the idea of her being a modern day Boudicca leading the activism.

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Re: M~M falls head first into unforgiving hard floor

#65 Post by PRINCE WILLIAM » Tue Aug 18, 2020 5:32 pm

Dear Major, are you still in bad shape or just captive to your female dictators?

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Re: M~M falls head first into unforgiving hard floor

#66 Post by MajorMitchell » Thu Aug 20, 2020 12:02 pm

Thanks for asking, I think I am returning to good form after a long spell in the care of my domestic captors. In my opinion I have suffered no loss of cognitive abilities & the Gardening Staff's secret punting fund's growth using my tips is sound evidence.
However my Adorable Fire Breathing MemSahib has an entirely different assessment of my cognitive abilities and will never relinquish the new powers gained or grant me freedoms now lost.
Nature's axiom is adapt or perish. My life at Flyblown Farm is much like a never ending game of diplomacy where a solo win is impossible and only death will bring some form of Draw, maybe with PCSS scoring not that ghastly DSS. PCSS scoring being Proper Christian Scoring System, much like PPSC where good acts & prayers/bad acts& sins balance are like your schedule count.

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Re: M~M falls head first into unforgiving hard floor

#67 Post by MajorMitchell » Mon Aug 24, 2020 1:27 pm

There are a few old hands here who have observed my unorthodox behaviour at the diplomacy caper with regard to solo wins & players who after a long alliance with me, then stab me, betray.my trust to go for a solo win and how I am often likely to hand it to them.on a plate, no contest. So moves are out of vulnerable scs to useless spots etc or holds any retreat is a disband etc.
I've never had a solo win with Italy here at webdiplomacy, and currently I'm in a non anonymous game, have Italy, have fifteen scs, could easily get a solo win, but to do it I have to stab one of two good allies.... Does Daffy Mm value his reputation for loyalty more than getting his first solo win with Italy at webdiplomacy?

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Re: M~M falls head first into unforgiving hard floor

#68 Post by PRINCE WILLIAM » Mon Aug 24, 2020 5:32 pm

My dear Major, I am always respecting my allies and never stab them. Alas, most people don't. So make the difference.
Personally, this code of honour has cost me not the solo but each and every game I played this year.

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Re: M~M falls head first into unforgiving hard floor

#69 Post by Octavious » Mon Aug 24, 2020 5:50 pm

MajorMitchell wrote:
Mon Aug 24, 2020 1:27 pm
There are a few old hands here who have observed my unorthodox behaviour at the diplomacy caper with regard to solo wins & players who after a long alliance with me, then stab me, betray.my trust to go for a solo win and how I am often likely to hand it to them.on a plate, no contest. So moves are out of vulnerable scs to useless spots etc or holds any retreat is a disband etc.
I've never had a solo win with Italy here at webdiplomacy, and currently I'm in a non anonymous game, have Italy, have fifteen scs, could easily get a solo win, but to do it I have to stab one of two good allies.... Does Daffy Mm value his reputation for loyalty more than getting his first solo win with Italy at webdiplomacy?
I can't believe that you're even considering playing so selfishly as to not stab. You would rather massage your own ego and arse about with reputation building than to teach the other new and inexperienced players an important lesson in how the game should be played? Shame on you, sir. I expected a bit more respect for your fellow sportsmen.

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Re: M~M falls head first into unforgiving hard floor

#70 Post by MajorMitchell » Tue Aug 25, 2020 1:15 am

Thank you dear DipComrade Octavious for reminding me of my duty to the Sporting Graces of Let & Allow, patting a partner on the back whilst easing the Stilletto in gently between their ribs.
Have a gander at the game, I'm superbly poised to strike...
1

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Re: M~M falls head first into unforgiving hard floor

#71 Post by MajorMitchell » Tue Aug 25, 2020 1:28 am

I do understand Prince William, you are burdened with the obligations of Nobility, the old Noblesse Oblige caper and you do not get the recognition for your selfless actions and proper appreciation from those you assist to victory.
Those of us who have risen out of the grubby proloteriat are not hindered with, we were blessed with deprivation from birth and the freedom to claw, fight and struggle our way out. Unlike your esteemed personage trapped from birth by privilege and oppressed in luxury & indulgence and burdened with lifelong obligations to the expectations of others and the responsibilities of Nobility. Monarchical Lives Matter, we can't have dangerous Anarchists posing as freedom fighters lobbing bombs into the Horse drawn State Carriages of our Regal class.

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Re: M~M falls head first into unforgiving hard floor

#72 Post by MajorMitchell » Fri Aug 28, 2020 7:49 am

Regrettably Dear Octavious I have been forbidden the dubious pleasures and inevitable guilt deriving from a Solo Win with Italy by my Supreme Domestic Authority on the grounds that my Ego is insufferable at the best of times and absolutely unbearable if I get a Solo Win against Proper Human players of any respectable Religion approved of by my Adorable Fire Breathing MemSahib, so unless the chaps with Austria and England were Scientologists​.... I was a sniveling coward and went for the Draw and an illusion of Diplomacy virtues and Loyalty & Honesty.
Nevertheless I came away richer for the experience and up by 35 lovely Webdiplomacy points.
I'm allowed to have Solo Wins against BlighterDalekBots. My Adorable Fire Breathing MemSahib, Her Serene Imperiousness Indoors lounging around on a sofa eating Cakes or Knitting allowed me as compensation to use the Gramaphone​ today during Playtime with Lovely Princess Estelle and I started out with Doris Day, then played a lot of Dusty Springfield. I'm not cutting quite the figure at the Dancing caper these days, clad in an Incontinence nappy for the Mature Woman, Flannel Pyjamas, Knitted & Knotted Dressing Gown of many Clashing Colours & misshapen Pink Woolly Beanie & Tartan Slippers, so it's perhaps not surprising to readers that Lovely Princess Estelle collapsed during her gyrations in a fit of giggles and mocking helplessness.

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Re: M~M falls head first into unforgiving hard floor

#73 Post by Octavious » Fri Aug 28, 2020 8:04 am

Major, with the upmost love and respect, you are a complete numpty :razz:
1

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Re: M~M falls head first into unforgiving hard floor

#74 Post by MajorMitchell » Sat Aug 29, 2020 12:03 am

Well I was still.first to plus one your endearing comment above. My young nephew is coming to visit Flyblown Farm today and I'm allowed to wear Proper Workman's Orange Hi~visibilty Bib& Braces Overalls over tracksuit pants and the ghastly nappy, but I have proper socks and leather shoes. Real Shoes, not Tartan Slippers.
I hope ALL READERS have gone to the thread Celebrating the Marital Union between Beloved Dipbro Brainbomb and His Princess Elizabeth and given Beloved Dipbro Brainbomb a plus one as our collective Wedding Present. Please, please do this.
A newly married chap will in.my opinion require as much positive Karma as is possibly achievable, and I am bold enough to speculate that Wise Octavious might agree, for he is reputed to be as Wise as a tree full of Owls.
I'm so looking forward to seeing my young scallywag nephew and it's going to be a lovely day in the weather aspect, sunny, warm for almost spring, a bit windy, but fine, fine, fine. Lovely Princess Estelle is going for Glamour in her attire, her costumery..My Adorable Fire Breathing MemSahib, Her Serene Imperiousness Indoors lounging around on a sofa eating Cakes or Knitting transforms Herself into a Doting, Loving & Generous Aunty & has ordered Cook & Pantry Maid Sally to cook up a feast of pastries, Hamburgers and all other types of suitable foods & drinks.
The Gardener's Punting syndicate are playing safely this weekend, fine tracks are not what we like, we like Heavy tracks and Fine weather, so there's a few races in Victoria... country meetings..
I've drafted a few of them into opening up some Sheds.& preparing for my young whippersnapper, scallywag nephew so we can play.with the old cars and motorcycles kept safe and warm, free from rodent & possum droppings on paintwork under canvas covers.
I'm off to check the toy Scalextric set up in it's shed & fine tune a few of the cars with Lovely Princess Estelle, she is organising the music & other games.

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Re: M~M falls head first into unforgiving hard floor

#75 Post by MajorMitchell » Sat Aug 29, 2020 6:55 pm

Well it's nearly 4am as I start this post & the household at Flyblown Farm is settled quietly, a light scattering of rain on the roof, delicate pattering drops of life giving rain can be heard. My young whippersnapper scallywag nephew failed to appear, sending me a text message about 11am with a pathetic excuse about "having disturbed sleep patterns".
He's definitely in Disgrace for his shameful cowardice and the anguish he's caused his Doting Loving Generous Aunty, Her Adorable Fire Breathing MemSahib Her Serene Imperiousness Indoors now snoring in bed after tears and unhappiness before bedtime & quite a few at bedtime. So I've had to doze in an armchair next to Her Adorable Fire Breathing MemSahib's bed and look after the dear woman.
I'm furious with the young blighter and have decided to engage in a bit of disinheritancing, namely the old BMW Touring Motorcycle and sidecar that the young blighter is mad keen on getting when I'm finally struck down by some God, Diety, Malevolent Demon or my own damn follies. Beautiful German engineering, the Russian? Ural Motor Cycle company were building in the 1980's copies of the WW2 BMW Wermacht motorcycle sidecar combinations for the Red Army and a mate who sold advertising for an Australian Motor Cycle magazine and wrote reviews got an imported to Australia Ural Motor Cycle sidecar set up & we rode it around Sydney having all sorts of high jinks, capers, scrapes & near misses, I had it doing tiny wheelstands, letting it roll back slowly with a sloping Sydney street and then using the massive flywheel momentum & delicato clutch control to.launch it forward. It still had old style exposed shaft drive, the BMW touring outfit I had acquired had the early single rear swingarm with totally enclosed shaft drive..But the Ural Motor Cycle was crude and tough, would even run on kerosine & cheap vodka mixed 50/50 & have more staccato bark from the exhaust in proportion to amount of vodka.. more vodka, more bark, then we added Michael's Ether boost system. Ah the halcyon days of glorious youth, well my supposedly earlier adult times.
I'm scarpering out of here as early & quietly as I can, My Adorable Fire Breathing MemSahib will in all likelihood in most vengeful moods in the morning and it is prudent in my opinion for me to flee for half a day. I've got the pale blue Mercedes PanzerBenz ready, so I'm off to a nearby hamlet to relax out of range. I will go try the drawing & sketching caper in a little park with a wonderful old Rotunda & there's a Main Street Market Day. So it's nearly 4:30 am..soon time to quietly prepare for the escape.. before anyone wakes up.

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Re: M~M falls head first into unforgiving hard floor

#76 Post by MajorMitchell » Mon Sep 07, 2020 1:44 pm

Tempus Fugit and you deserve a canimg, as my old Latin Master once told us many times when I was a fledgling. Sort of what I said to Lovely Princess Estelle this morning after breakfast. "What canes shall I get?" asked LPE in eager anticipation.
"Pack the lot, we're off to the City today" I boldly announced clad in humiliating garments including a fresh incontinence nappy for the Mature Woman. Well the look.on.my Adorable Fire Breathing MemSahib's beautiful face would, like Helen of Troy, launched a thousand ships filled with fleeing men. But not Daffy, aged MM. I casually announced that whilst shaving LPE in her bath earlier in the morning I had heard on the radio that elections should have been held today in Hong Kong.
So I informed listeners, including Sally the Pantry Maid who had run off and returned with a First Aid kit should I be maimed by my Adorable Fire Breathing MemSahib's dulcet response to my brazen audacity; that today Lovely Princess Estelle & I were off to the City to Protest outside the PRC Consulate in the City.
Lovely Princess Estelle was ecstatic, my Adorable Fire Breathing MemSahib perhaps not quite as enthusiastic.

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Re: M~M falls head first into unforgiving hard floor

#77 Post by MajorMitchell » Mon Sep 07, 2020 2:31 pm

So Lovely Princess Estelle picked out a nice suit, shirt & tie for me to wear & I chose an old favourite pair of Proper Christian Leather Shoes to wear.
After much dashing around and about Flyblown Farm my pale blue Mercedes PanzerBenz was laden with necessary paraphernalia including two plywood blackboard Billboard sets, chalks of several colours & ready for the starter's orders.
LPE skipped lightly to the car wearing lingerie unseen & a long fur coat, so as it was a warm day with warm northerly winds we ran the air-conditioning in the pale blue Mercedes PanzerBenz, but alas Lovely Princess Estelle felt heated and the long fur coat came off & the saucy lass flung it onto the rear seats as we drifted along at 60mph.
Personally I am well used to her capers, but LPE's disrobing took place as I was in an overtaking lane and trying to pass a large semitrailer truck in the left lane.
I swear that blighter put his foot down to keep up & applied his trucks airhorns with some willingness to be heard in Melbourne and Perth. It so startled Lively, Lovely Princess Estelle that she, well had a wardrobe misfunction to use a Janet Jackson euphemism.
Fortunately my pale blue Mercedes PanzerBenz is serviced by Comrade Trucky & young whippersnapper Sprocket the Rocket, so I gave the Accenuator a solid press down & the V8 response was fantastic, the transmission kicked back to second gear & we swiftly left in a roar of rapidly rising rpm and noises, the barking exhausts making a beautiful serenade. Comrade Trucky & young whippersnapper Sprocket the Rocket had long ago seen to the exhaust system. Custom tuned length extractors into twin enlarged diameter piping all wrapped in heat insulating tape to ensure very high gas temperature and maximum speed gas flows out the exhaust system.
Once in the City with Lovely Princess Estelle more demurely dressed over her scandalous lingerie, which is only to be encouraged, we engaged in what LPE calls her "Retail Political Activism"& the part I think she liked quite a lot.
First call was at a fancy new Mercedes Benz retail outlet where LPE raced into the showroom like a top class sprinter out after a month in a horsebox.. I followed up, I felt a cane inapropriate & couldn't find my walking stick, so I improvised by selecting an Old hickory shafted Mashie Niblick with a hand forged head as a walking aid & prop.
The unctuous sales persons had been informed that we were considering purchasing a new vehicle for Lovely Princess Estelle, so they diplomatically referred to LOSE as my "companion" & LPE immediately corrected the incorrect title usage by firmly informing them that She is my Mistress & a damn Good Mistress to me, so she insists on proper respect from sales persons.
Then LPE started to quiz them on whether the two door convertible they'd recommended had Any Components Made in the PRC.
Like a terrier with three rats trapped LPE cut through obsfucations and dissembling.
Then LPE announced that the gleaming convertible they'd recommended was "Simply no good, no good at all for her if it had parts made by oppressed slaves in the PRC" and that she wanted to try the Ferrari dealership or perhaps a new Jaguar might be better.

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Re: M~M falls head first into unforgiving hard floor

#78 Post by MajorMitchell » Mon Sep 07, 2020 2:38 pm

Lovely Princess Estelle might appear to be a bit scatterbrained, but she is as clever as a three wagons of chimpanzees and she had been quizzing Comrade Trucky & young whippersnapper Sprocket the Rocket & making notes in preparation, so she knows virtually all.new cars contain components made in the PRC.

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Re: M~M falls head first into unforgiving hard floor

#79 Post by MajorMitchell » Mon Sep 07, 2020 2:43 pm

I think it was the eighth or ninth car dealership when Lovely Princess Estelle announced to crestfallen sales persons that she had decided that she wanted a New Horse bred in Australia instead of a car containing the products of enslavement and tyranny by the Chinese Communist Party.
Then after getting coffees that contained nothing from the PRC in our mugs not made in PRC we were off to the PRC Consulate.

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Re: M~M falls head first into unforgiving hard floor

#80 Post by MajorMitchell » Mon Sep 07, 2020 3:03 pm

Once organised outside the main driveway of the Consulate of the PRC we had a glorious time. Lovely Princess Estelle modelled her new handmade, handstitched with her own delicate hands white silk & apricot pink silk bikini & had me write her Protest Messages on designated parts of her exposed skin in lipstick colours as she directed. I stuck a chalkboard Billboard set & chalk written protest messages of my own.
"Don't let any International Bully turn Aussie into Chinese Changi prison" was a touching, sensitive historically​ characterisation of a distopian future & "Save Our Golf Courses from being made Paddy Fields​ and us Slaves" were my contribution & LPE was firmly displaying her "Don't Buy Chinese Products" line of critical commentary.

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