Poetry 2!

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WyattS14
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Poetry 2!

#1 Post by WyattS14 » Fri Jul 06, 2018 7:42 am

Alright. My goal here is to have an organized forum section for poetry rather than random pieces that can be dumped every now and then.

Once we have a group together that is interested we can have topics and see what everyone has to say about anything and everything through spoken word (of course unspoken, unless you wish to)

These topics could range from politics to the environment to dark laments through stories involving things like child protective services so strap in and get surgic with it! Let’s make a commotion that’s sysmic with this!

I’ll start with a topic since I just finished up a piece on it.


*Understanding circumstance/false assumptions*

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Re: Poetry 2!

#2 Post by WyattS14 » Fri Jul 06, 2018 7:55 am

I tell you what
Today really just sucked
I was with my beautiful girlfriend and we didn’t even fuck

And I tell you what
My new mower was running slower because of some sut that stuck

And I tell you what,
No really there’s more
After my hour of chores my hand was just a little sore

But I’m not even done
After working, no fun, in the kinda hot sun
I Had to play a video game against my brother, one on one,
And I never even won

No one, no way,
Could be having a worse day
Sure, there’s whole cities in decay,
But the people must like living that way
Who else would they decide to stay?

I also know families feel there’s no hope with taxes,
But they have clothes and they cope with blow after blow so it can’t be that shit
At Least they don’t have to worry about getting mower oil on their new shoes, lavish
Now I would say that’s shit

That’s right, I guess I forgot to mention
SAE 30 on my new shoes that I bought from a shoe convention
I paid the value of my grandparents pension
Now there’s two different shades of grey and that’ll just grab bad attention

So if I could have your attention, I have something to restate
I’m having, without a doubt to acclaim, the very worst day
Worse than any medical bill that you can’t pay
Worse than any cancer, overdose, or even any castaways many days spent away

If I could breathe my premium, filtered air into you
You’d have 1st world problems too, I promise it’s true

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Re: Poetry 2!

#3 Post by Octavious » Fri Jul 06, 2018 10:25 am

I'm struggling a bit with this one. What's the underlying message? If it's as simple as "be thankful for what you have, others are far worse off" it seems rather crudely done. If there's something more profound I'll need a bit more signposting to what that might be.

Kudos for getting SAE 30 into a poem, though ;)

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Re: Poetry 2!

#4 Post by WyattS14 » Fri Jul 06, 2018 12:10 pm

So obviously.. I’m not actually complaining about having the worst day ever.

The point of the poem is to set up a situation with a clearly privileged individual that seriously believes a lot of the things happening to them are truly awful, because they value their lives as belongings so much more then they would ever value someone that was in a bad situation.

I tried making it clear that the individual had absolutely no true understanding to a ridiculous point, which wasn’t supposed to be funny, But rather a profound exaggeration of a lot of people’s views that haven’t really had to experience struggle.

The message, which I suppose is arguably lacking to begin with, is a little bit pushed, but one reason I wrote it this way is because my poems are never really down to earth like this. When I say down to earth I mean they’re never REALLY about physical beings or belongings, but almost always ideologies and societal norms (which is clearly dug into this one too, But still) also thanks for the SAE 30 applaud haha, I know my fair share of small motor terminology ;)

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Re: Poetry 2!

#5 Post by Octavious » Fri Jul 06, 2018 1:19 pm

I think that's my problem with it. The individual of the poem to me is too exaggerated, too ridiculous. You read it and it loses its power because nobody is like that. For me poems like these are best when they hold a mirror to your reality, but if this is a mirror it is one with a clown's face drawn on with cheap make up.

The whole first world problems concept struggles a little for similar reasons. The idea that problems experienced in the first world are trivial is demonstrably false, and to claim otherwise is at best irritating, at worse grossly offensive. The extremes of the human condition are really quite unifying. We all have the opportunity to love, we all have the anguish of losing a loved one. We are also unified by trivial problems. There are very few children across the world who haven't felt hard done by when a guardian has presented them with some nutritious but unpleasant tasting (usually green coloured) foodstuff and a lecture on how a theoretical starving child in another time or place would love to have such a treat.

There are great inequalities across our world, that is beyond doubt, but I've always felt they were best highlighted with the truth rather than exaggeration, especially when such exaggeration hides the very things that unify us.

Anyway, that's just my ramblings on the subject. Putting those thoughts into a poem is probably beyond me :p.
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Re: Poetry 2!

#6 Post by WyattS14 » Fri Jul 06, 2018 5:32 pm

mole hills out of mountains
Blood filling fancy fairy filled fountains
There’s trouble surrounding
Those once beautiful brass bells are banging, clanging, and bombastically sounding
To the listeners it’s arousing but as a viewer I honestly feel like I’m drowning

There’s corruption and violence around every turn
It seems like the better I do the more it burns
The more it chars away at everything I’ve earned
The more my fountains, bells, and ancient urns become fictional like wyverns

I don’t know what you just might be going through
But I’ve seen misery, disparity, and even depression too
You have your problems and believe me, I have mine
So let’s bring our broken bells together and harmonize at the same time

We’ll talk about our problems like we would if we were kids
It might sound stupid
but if some clashing chords are made that way it would be easier to deal with

We could make our conversations chords
Maybe just intervals too
I’ll talk about the death of my steward and you might tell about spending the night in the sewers

Our very own playlist made of sounds never seen together
Maybe we could transmit our music up to be in the sky forever
I know a guy that knows a guy that just needs to pull a lever
But his lever must be stuck because I just called and he won’t pick up

I guess the world doesn’t want a broadcast of unity
We can still talk and maybe one day the world will see
At least we’ll both be set free

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Re: Poetry 2!

#7 Post by Crazy Anglican » Fri Jul 06, 2018 7:00 pm

Sitting in the shade
The blistering Georgia sun
seeks me with hot breath

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Re: Poetry 2!

#8 Post by Crazy Anglican » Fri Jul 06, 2018 7:14 pm

With trembling unpracticed hand
my heart desires to speak truth,
yet my mind inserts the fear that maybe
there is really nothing in me worth sharing.

"Who am I to which anyone should listen"
my quiet constant friend whispers.
Why waste the effort and the time
only to be rejected?

Perhaps it is rejection that let's me know
I am a fish in the stream and not merely the stream itself.

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Re: Poetry 2!

#9 Post by WyattS14 » Sat Jul 07, 2018 8:19 pm

@octavious. Thoughts?

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Re: Poetry 2!

#10 Post by Octavious » Sat Jul 07, 2018 9:43 pm

Yes... that feels like it comes from somewhere real... You have quite a talent for this. A Damned shame we can't hear them spoken...
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Re: Poetry 2!

#11 Post by WyattS14 » Sat Jul 07, 2018 11:17 pm

Hmmmm.. gimme a day

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Re: Poetry 2!

#12 Post by badivan1 » Sun Jul 08, 2018 9:41 pm

There once was a man from Roma
Who happily stabbed Vienna
"If he wants a war,
Then I'll give him more!"
They get crushed by Juggernauta
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Re: Poetry 2!

#13 Post by WyattS14 » Sun Jul 08, 2018 11:17 pm

Beautiful and inciteful. A true pieces of art depicting hard times not only on the battlefield, but also in life itself.

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Re: Poetry 2!

#14 Post by badivan1 » Mon Jul 09, 2018 3:51 am

On second thought, I might remove all the punctuation to make it more ambiguous

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Re: Poetry 2!

#15 Post by CptMike » Sun Jul 15, 2018 1:31 pm

1v1 players... How they love Austria !
When they get it, it is close to euphoria.

And who could possibly blame them ?
With this, so many stratagems !

They can reach St Petersburg before France.
Or suddenly go back to Berlin take their chance.

And if they reach Western Med in Spring '03.
Victory is close to be a warranty.

Sometimes Germany can be a trouble.
But most of time both Mun and Ber come in double.

And if they don't like fighting.
There is still the possibility of rushing.

Yeah. With Austria, any player feels happy.
And he is entering his moves safely.

Then came xorxes. :shock:
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Re: Poetry 2!

#16 Post by Maniac » Sun Jul 15, 2018 1:59 pm

Web diplomacy
I’ve drawn Italy again
Now I must CD
3

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Re: Poetry 2!

#17 Post by CptMike » Sun Jul 15, 2018 2:47 pm

Dedicated to Ezio. ;)

FvA would be noble.
GvI just good for noodles.

A victory with Italy is a question of luck ?
Well. If so, come with Germany for the fuck.

Nor a feverish or gambling German can beat Italy.
There is no other solution but reading the adversary.

And if Italy can make the running.
Then buddy you can start crying.

FvA is a question of mathematics
And GvI is just not good for dogmatics.


:zultar:

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Re: Poetry 2!

#18 Post by badivan1 » Sun Jul 15, 2018 10:22 pm

There once was a man from Britain
His fleets sailing anti-Russian
He and Germany
Share an enemy
Then France dupe them both by stabbin'

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Re: Poetry 2!

#19 Post by abbygrrl » Mon Jul 16, 2018 9:35 pm

Hey guys! I run a spoken word show for a college radio station. Would anyone be opposed if I read this thread? And would anyone be interested in recording themselves reading their work and sending it in? You'd get full credit, though right now I can only credit to your usernames here. Excited to find these gems here on webdiplomacy.
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Re: Poetry 2!

#20 Post by badivan1 » Mon Jul 16, 2018 9:59 pm

i am personally not opposed to have my poems publicly distributed (with some credit, whatever its worth). however, i don't see why you couldn't read all the poems by yourself in our behalf

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