Hey, you there!

[RagingIke297]

Hi, my name is Ike, some of you reading this thread may know, most of you probably do not, but my divorced was finalized on Thursday. It wasn't something that I wanted to happen and I felt like I could fix it, but in the end I couldn't. Even less of you know that, with what felt like my entire life slipping away from me, I got checked into the hospital two weeks ago because I was seriously contemplating taking my own life because of the weight on my shoulders. I'm not going to go into details here, but as soon as I posted something about my divorce in a thread yesterday I got a bunch of support there and a bunch of support in PM's too. Turns out plenty of people have gone through the same thing, and some are even going through it right now.

So as for the purpose of this thread; it is not to garner any sort of pity or sympathy or empathy from anyone, the purpose of this thread is to hopefully let someone out there know that you aren't alone in the struggle you're having, that you do matter, that even though the storms you're going through right now seem like they have no end, storms always clear up. The night is always darkest before the dawn. While I'm almost through this one patch of darkness in my life and I can almost see that daylight, I know for a fact that there are some of you out there in the midst of a storm right now and it's pitch black. I want YOU to know that if you need to talk about something that's weighing on you, that I'm here to listen (or give advice or my opinion or whatever you think you might help you). Everyone needs support during tough times and it's nothing to be ashamed of. If you're out there and you feel like you could use someone to talk to about a situation you're going through or a problem you're having, please PM me and we can talk on here, snapchat, discord, email, carrier pigeon, phone, telegraph, or whatever you're comfortable with. For those of you who don't feel like reaching out or talking about it, I get it, I'm some random stranger on the internet, but I do have this message for you: I believe in you, you can do this, take it one day at a time and while it might seem like forever away, you'll get out of this storm someday soon I promise.

All the best,

Ike

[jmo1121109]

Thanks a lot for posting this. I'm glad you got the help you needed in your dark time.

[dargorygel]

Sorrow and hope for you, Ike.

[RagingIke297]

Thanks a lot for posting this. I'm glad you got the help you needed in your dark time.

Thanks Jmo, mental health is really important but I feel like it doesn't get talked about enough until its too late

[brainbomb]

the best thing about life is getting chances to try again and do new things. reinventing yourself is never a thing to be ashamed of. I look forward to many more times of enjoying your company Ike. truly one of my favorite people on here.

[Vaporwave]

Being a passionate guy, I'm not sure if I will ever be able to get over a divorce. It takes a lot of inner strength, even though divorce is normal and acceptable nowadays, it's still a hurtful and very unwanted event.

But sometimes it's necessary for it happen, it might be the best solution for both parties in certain cases.

[dargorygel]

RagingIke is absolutely correct. Whatever our crisis, we make it worse by trying to solve it on our own. Talking to 'someone' might feel weak, or annoying, or immature... but it isn't.

[PRINCE WILLIAM]

Ike, I hope the passing to daylight for you is not far away. It is very brave and kind of you to share all this with us and offer to talk with those who may are in similar dark stages on their lives' journey.
I can feel you, understand how dark it was, how you felt that the weight thrust on you was crushing you. I have never been married and never divorced but a decade ago I had a serious health issue and undergo major surgery. I know despair and fear and the need to talk to someone. Sometimes is easier that someone not to be every day familiar but someone far away on the internet.

[RagingIke297]

Just to share again, because of how this was received, i know that it's not easy but something that really has been helping me lately has been taking 5 minutes out of my day, setting down my phone, closing my eyes and thinking of all the things I have that I'm grateful for: I have a phone, I have a car, I have two wonderful rabbits, I have a laptop, i have a fridge, I have two parents and several friends that care about me very much, I own my own house, a dream of mine since when I was 14 or 15. I have very little debt outside of my mortgage given my age. The list goes on, those are just the big things...

When I sit back and really think about what I have instead of focusing on what I don't have or what I've lost, I realize I could be much worse off. Additionally, sometimes you need to look at what you've accomplished and how far you've come and what you've weathered. It's all about the journey, not the destination. Don't let life pass you by trying to get somewhere because once you're there you'll just set another goal then you'll get there and set another and another and another.

I'll end this with something one of my favorite artists put out on his last album:
My most considered, like, "successful" moment of my life was the worst
The most depressed I've ever been
Literally feeling like I'd probably be happier if I was just dead
I got a number one on Billboard, my song is massive right now
Like I may never have a song this big again
My tour, I think every date sold out except one date
So I literally had everything that I had always dreamed of happening
And I felt, I didn't feel happy at all
And so I think what happened was I spiraled really bad
'Cause I was like, "I'm here, and if this is it, there's gotta be more for me
'Cause if this is it, like, it's not gonna work"

Again, please reach out to me if you need someone, you've got amazing times ahead of you even if you don't know it yet

[Claesar]

I absolutely love rabbits but I have none

[RagingIke297]

I absolutely love rabbits but I have none

Awwwwww, why not?

[Octavious]

Yeah, especially as you can get them so cheap at the butcher's

[dargorygel]

Hausenpfeiffer 🥺

[brainbomb]

leave bambi alone

[dargorygel]

"I've never met a bambi I didn't like." Some famous person.

[RagingIke297]

Hey again, I keep thinking of little thoughts that I feel like I should share with people. Please take some time today to think about if there is anyone in your life that you could be treating better or talking to more or taking more places or being more thoughtful of. For those of you lucky enough to have parents and grandparents that are still alive and still communicate with you, when was the last time you called them? For those of you with children and grandchildren, when was the last time you took them out for a lunch and talked to them? For those of you with close friends, when is the last time you sat down and really talked about how they were doing? Not like "hey, how are you? I'm good, you?", I'm talking about pushing it further than that. For those of you with a spouse or significant other, when is the last time you surprised them with something that they love?

Sometimes it could be something so small that makes a huge difference. An apology, it takes literally two minutes. Not like a "meh, i was wrong", apology, like a "hey (insert pet name), can we talk for a minute? (go and sit down somewhere, set your phone down and actually engage) I was thinking about (thing) that happened the other day and I just wanted to let you know that I didn't handle it how I should have and I'm sorry." It's not about getting one back, its not about making them feel bad, its about making them recognize that you do care, because when they start to question that it is a very slippery slope. It could be just stopping on the way home and picking up some flowers or some small gift, I'm going to be honest, I'm a guy and I love flowers, they're bright, they smell great, plus I would be getting them from someone who was important to me. It could be that you take a day you know your SO isn't busy and you clear that day off and plan a surprise date night. It could literally just be coming over first thing when you see them next, giving them a hug and telling them how much you love them. You'll have to be the judge of what would mean the most to them, each situation is different.

Finally, please don't take anything for granted. I'm still really young and I've lost 3 of my 4 grandparents. I thought that me and my wife would be a forever thing, we would separate when one of us died in our 80's or 90's. We stopped living together when she took a vacation to North Carolina, we agreed that before she came back I moved to back to Ohio for a while, she thought that maybe we just needed some time apart. When I moved back she moved in with her parents and is still there to this day. I never thought for a moment when I woke up to her shuffling around to head to the airport super early that March morning would be the last time we slept next to each other, I never thought that the kiss I made her come back and give me would be the last one we would ever share. If I would have known, I would have done so much differently. You really just never know, so please take someone you love today, tell them you love them, and do something special for them.

Best,

Ike