M~M falls head first into unforgiving hard floor

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MajorMitchell
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Re: M~M falls head first into unforgiving hard floor

#81 Post by MajorMitchell » Mon Sep 07, 2020 3:34 pm

We certainly attracted attention, a security guy promptly arrived and had a go at the verbal intimidating tactics and photography tactics, but Lovely Princess Estelle adores a camera and the pair of us exchanged some banter with the blighter. Then the suits arrived, male and female wearing masks & a different chap in a cheap suit took over the photography capers.
Lovely Princess Estelle quickly had him.engrossed in his task of gathering photographic evidence of her political activism that I caught him.unawares approaching him.from a vulnerable flank, and I booked vociferously "I trust you are NOT taking Salacious or pornographic photos young man" & startled him, he spun like a top to face me, then Lovely Princess Estelle squealed loudly and he spun back to face her, but she had closed in to engage & his foot came down on a stick from the large eucalyptus trees blowing in the wind, he stumbled off balance, stuck out his paws ..and grasped the breasts of Lovely Princess Estelle, who squealed even more loudly, jumped back & at that moment I took the second photograph of the incident. I like the third photo, it captures the delicate white silk and apricot pink silk bikini top.entangled in this blighter's paws and the delicate nipples that were exposed, catching the sunlight perfectly, all in very sharp focus.
I presume it was shortly after that the watching Chinese officials & security guards might have regretted having already summoned the local State Police by telephone, for they arrived only minutes later.
To find me comforting LPE after wrapping her in her favourite sarongs and scarfs & her weeping piteously but bravely saying she "didn't want an ambulance called, the brave freedom activists in Hong Kong needed ambulances after being shot by criminals masquerading in PRC uniforms, not her"
So the police made their enquiries and looked at the photos I'd taken with my phone. I would summarise the consensus conclusion to be that "a most unfortunate incident occurred" although there are some differences​ in opinions on whether Lovely Princess Estelle and I should consult my Adorable Fire Breathing MemSahib's Lawyers about the "most unfortunate incident that occurred" with several persons representing the PRC most persuasively urging that such a course of action was totally unnecessary.

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Re: M~M falls head first into unforgiving hard floor

#82 Post by Octavious » Mon Sep 07, 2020 3:46 pm

I think I saw a similar plot play out when badly struck down by a cold and watching a flick in the wee sleepless hours to pass the time. It was a French film, I recall, and utterly incomprehensible.

But all that's beside the point. The important question, of course, is have you been watching the cricket? ;)
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Re: M~M falls head first into unforgiving hard floor

#83 Post by MajorMitchell » Mon Sep 07, 2020 4:07 pm

May I reassure concerned readers that LPE recovered and only a few hours later after an hour in a bathroom, then donning a new smart outfit of Italian design & manufacturing, source materials non PRC, with jewellery definitely not PRC sourced she most courageously consumed a complete Beef Wellington dinner with 2 bowls of strawberries and raspberries for her desert and we have safely negotiated our journey home, where she sleeps the sleep.of the innocent & pure of heart.

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Re: M~M falls head first into unforgiving hard floor

#84 Post by MajorMitchell » Mon Sep 07, 2020 4:11 pm

No Octavious I have had no time for Cricket lately. Which of itself is evidence of the diabolical times that Trumptoad & other corrupted leaders have inflicted upon us all.

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Re: M~M falls head first into unforgiving hard floor

#85 Post by MajorMitchell » Tue Sep 08, 2020 2:21 pm

Readers understand that there is a fair amount of delusional nonsense in these tales of Flyblown Farm but that there are truths in them as well. I did, with companion drive 100km to protest outside the PRC Consulate & 100 km back after visiting an old Comrade etc etc. The exhaust system described does exist, but on Comrade Trucky's Monaro CV8 (were sold in USA as Chevrolet badged imports from.australia) and he has upgraded the pale blue Mercedes PanzerBenz exhaust for me, but not to the level of his CV8​.
What does disturb me is that readers are freeloading on content, reading my occasionally amusing yarn and pertinent comments from first class contributors like Wise Octavious and not paying for the IP Rights, reading and enjoying visualisations and imaginings most entertaining, and simply not fulfilling their part of the Faustian pact of paying with plus ones.
I deliberately tested you READERS and some of you failed, I left the most recent post from Wise Octavious for 24hrs to test my readers.. over fifty views and not a single plus one for Wise Octavious, so I've gone and out his first plus one on that post.
He asked about CRICKET, and by gosh that's so important, so pertinent, such an astute ability to see the essential, critical things of importance & fifty views and NO PLUS ONE FOR WISE OCTAVIOUS from these freeloading whippersnappers & Millennials ????
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Re: M~M falls head first into unforgiving hard floor

#86 Post by Dart_attack » Tue Sep 08, 2020 7:39 pm

MajorMitchell wrote:
Tue Sep 08, 2020 2:21 pm

He asked about CRICKET, and by gosh that's so important, so pertinent, such an astute ability to see the essential, critical things of importance & fifty views and NO PLUS ONE FOR WISE OCTAVIOUS from these freeloading whippersnappers & Millennials ????
You will of course excuse those of us who remain outside of the cricket-sphere, perhaps one such young whippersnapper might suggest ice-hockey, or the ever famous football (none of the american nonsense) as a point of rapprochement to a younger readership?

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Re: M~M falls head first into unforgiving hard floor

#87 Post by flash2015 » Wed Sep 09, 2020 6:22 pm

MajorMitchell wrote:
Tue Sep 08, 2020 2:21 pm
He asked about CRICKET, and by gosh that's so important, so pertinent, such an astute ability to see the essential, critical things of importance & fifty views and NO PLUS ONE FOR WISE OCTAVIOUS from these freeloading whippersnappers & Millennials ????
I guess my biggest concern is - will it be mandatory for the streakers at the cricket to wear masks?

I can understand your concerns about China...but I am not sure why you pick on some Irish guy called Paddy Fields.

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Re: M~M falls head first into unforgiving hard floor

#88 Post by MajorMitchell » Fri Sep 11, 2020 4:32 am

Hmmmm, I look at the post by Wise Octavious & see only the plus one I gave him, so as far as rapprochement between our fledgling Millennials & other young whippersnappers and us crusty old codgers, or COCs in txtspk, might I diplomatically suggest that our younger brigade should be enthusiastically & prolifically plus one~ing Wise Octavious to earn the necessary goodwill they need to be taken seriously by us Crusty Old Codgers, otherwise, to use a euphemism, we'll just offer wry smiles & suggest you get an apple from the fridge & take it outside to eat, perhaps collect those skateboards left scattered around & put the wheely bin out, without it containing your youngest sibling.

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Re: M~M falls head first into unforgiving hard floor

#89 Post by flash2015 » Fri Sep 11, 2020 7:30 pm

"Wise" is not the adjective I would use...but anyway.

What is the criteria to be a COC? I would argue that if you are old enough to remember World Series Cricket you should automatically be a member...

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Re: M~M falls head first into unforgiving hard floor

#90 Post by Octavious » Fri Sep 11, 2020 8:16 pm

What adjective do you favour? Mellifluous...? Learned...? Sexy...?

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Re: M~M falls head first into unforgiving hard floor

#91 Post by MajorMitchell » Sat Sep 12, 2020 4:33 am

Dear Readers, both of you, you have to respect the craftiness and guile of Octavious our Wise Oracle, note how he asks me "what adjective..' and uses the singular form, not plural, he does not ask 'what adjectives?'. It's just the sort of trap.any excitable.young whippersnapper & Millennial would blithely enter without a moment's thought, too busy SnapoTiktokchatifying on their mobile phones​. This is why they should be plus one~ing COCs for the sound advice that they can read here.

Of course Octavious is "Sexy". Such is the sexual allure of Octavious that in the good old days of his early adulthood that the British Govt Home Secretary had to implement precautionary measures in, I think it was eight Counties, Mary Whitehouse dithered between wanting Octavious "sent to the Vets" and wanting him ""sent to her budoir" & I think several Clerics including two Bishops issued dire warnings from.their pulpits of the Dangers of the Seductive powers of the then young Octavious and the threat he posed to Married Women and the sanctity of Marriage.
When Octavious married his Lovely Wife it did cause much anguish & tears before bedtime & and after bedtime amongst single women whose dreams of becoming Mrs Octavious were shattered, but great relief to most married men in at least eight Counties.

So dear readers, you perhaps appreciate that no single adjective is capable of describing anything more than a fragment of the nature of or many formidable qualities of Octavious.

As to his powers of mind, intellectual abilities, well all I have to tell readers to give them a hint of those aspects of Octavious is to tell them that it is understood that Omnipotent Zultar and Almost Omniscient Kestas will consult Octavious for guidance & are most respectful to Octavious when he visits Omnipotent Zultar's Magic Cave for tea & scones with them & the Almighty Mods.

So suitable descriptive terminology would include:
Wisdom, Perspicacity, Powerful Sexual Attractiveness effects on those predominantly, but not exclusively of the female gender, just ask beloved Dipbro Jamiet99Uk about the giddy way some of his excellent pals chatter about "what a dreamy dish is Octavious" & they fantasise about taking Octavious to their own budoirs & discuss the happy Playtime they most desire.
Describe Machiavelli with only a single descriptive term, impossible.
The same applies to Octavious.
Readers are invited to offer their suggestions of adjectives, other descriptions, even euphemisms to describe Octavious, cautioned with regard to Legal Statutes on Libel, reminded of the rules of our Bwave New Forum with More Decorum & yet again, implored to "pay for content" by plus one~ing posts in this thread that they read.

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Re: M~M falls head first into unforgiving hard floor

#92 Post by flash2015 » Sun Sep 13, 2020 12:42 am

I think you two need to get a room...

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Re: M~M falls head first into unforgiving hard floor

#93 Post by MajorMitchell » Sun Sep 13, 2020 1:37 am

Dear Flash, Octavious, Jamiet99Uk & myself have our romantic capers with our various partners & fulfill​ our sexual needs within those relationships, we do not engage in any romantic capers here at webdiplomacy,.
The love between DipComrades, Dipsisters and Dipbros is a pure, platonic type of love, an intellectual affection built on respect, admiration, with no sexual component.
Like the love Omnipotent Zultar has for us all, or that which the Almighty Mods have for Maniac, Dipbro Brainbomb and all of us.
Take the example of dearest Dipbro Jamiet99Uk, he is like immoveable stone and has zero sexual desires regarding Octavious, bit his excellent pals who have seen Octavious or heard of Octavious, well some become all giggles and blushes and are most attracted to Octavious. Octavious is of course a perfect gentleman in his response to occasionally receiving Roses and cards from these bold chaps, he will reply with small gift & card that explains gently that he, Octavious is committed to Mrs Octavious in all ways and for all time, so their desire to embrace him.must go unrequited.
Love and sex are both complex and tricky capers, it is natural to be confused about them when a chap or lass is a young excitable whippersnapper.
Reading sound advice in this and other threads from.Aged Veterans of those capers is probably the best thing a young excitable whippersnapper Millennial can do to help untangle confusing matters of romantic and sexual capers.
I did see a new plus one, but only the one, so I again plead with readers to pay for content with plus ones.
I note that this thread has exceeded 4,100 views and thank all readers for their support.
Unfortunately this level of popular appeal has resulted in attempts to introduce advertising for the USA POTUS election campaign, a floor cleaning product & an exercise machine, both endorsed by Chuck Norris into this thread, all of which have been rebuffed and refused by Omnipotent Zultar and the Almighty Mods.
So again, it's plus ones that will keep monetisation by allowing distasteful advertising at bay.

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Re: M~M falls head first into unforgiving hard floor

#94 Post by MajorMitchell » Sun Sep 13, 2020 5:05 pm

What's that allowing? in last sentence, should be "keeping at bay...'

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Re: M~M falls head first into unforgiving hard floor

#95 Post by MajorMitchell » Mon Sep 14, 2020 1:34 am

If any additional proof is required to demonstrate the Wisdom, Perspicacity & other many fine qualities of dear Octavious it's his Ghost Ranking, currently Number 7 & that is an achievement all our loveable excitable whippersnapper Millennials should respect and aspire to replicate as best they might.
I'm a mere 310 places lower at 318 & this unheard of ranking for me will surprise many readers, inside the top 500 by a decent margin, how is it possible?
I can only imagine that somehow my Adorable Fire Breathing MemSahib & Lovely Princess Estelle, a Most Machiavellian Pair have something to do with it, perhaps they have"persuaded" the Ghost Ranking Adjudicators to position me as they have, and the Most Machiavellian Pair, My Adorable Fire Breathing MemSahib & Lovely Princess Estelle have done this as a surprise present to demonstrate their True Love for Daffy old MM.
Has anyone seen the Ghost Ranking Adjudicators recently? If so did they appear to be slightly dazed yet extraordinarily happy, smeared with pink lipstick, disheveled attire, missing a shoe or socks ? Or did they appear to be most fearful, anxious,, nervously twitching, clingy and not wanting to be left alone? Or did they appear to be in both sets of states, a mad bipolarity of conflicting behaviours?
I make no accusations, or suggestions of guilt on the part of the Ghost Ranking Adjudicators, they are only human and do their best. My Adorable Most Machiavellian Pair can summon forces no mere ordinary human can withstand.
What a lovely surprise, those two scallywags triumph yet again.

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