Finished: 03 PM Sat 16 May 15 UTC
Swiftly Taylored Domination
1 days, 12 hours /phase
Pot: 409 D - Autumn, 2022, Finished
World Diplomacy IX, Anonymous players, Survivors-Win Scoring
1 excused missed turn
Game won by wpfieps (440 D)
13 Apr 15 UTC Autumn, 2015: [South-Africa]:W-C I'll help you if you can give me Mexico in 2 turn.
N-E i can help you if you can give me Afg in 3 turn.
14 Apr 15 UTC Autumn, 2015: [Western-Canada]:Literally impossible since you're an army for you to do either of those without help...
14 Apr 15 UTC Autumn, 2015: [South-Africa]:If you can give me Mexico in 2 turn, the impossible will be possible !
16 Apr 15 UTC Autumn, 2015: [Frozen-Antarctica]:Does me, well played folks.
17 Apr 15 UTC Spring, 2016: [Kenya]:Good game FA!
19 Apr 15 UTC Spring, 2016: [Kenya]:Comon India, ready up. Why do you insist upon slowly bleeding out? We've spent the past 3 days on retreats/builds.
22 Apr 15 UTC Spring, 2017: [Near-East]:Time passed and Vlad's half-Canadian son, Luc, was now in high school. Like any red-blooded half-Russian half-Canadian youth, Vlad was learning leadership skills by being captain of his high school hockey team. But then the Vancouver School District adopted a new concussion policy, and their hockey team was converted into a curling club. Due to the confusing mixed-messages Vlad's son was now receiving from his more progressive education, he converted the armaments aboard Canadian fleets into shuffleboard rinks. Before long, everything had been sunk except his own personal boat.

Without any military left to protect him, Vlad's son was sent to live with his numerous aunts and uncles in the Okanagan Desert where the Canada's expired nuclear waste was being dumped. Being Canadians, and thus not the most logical, all of his uncles were named "Ben". So he needed to refer to them as "Young Ben #1", "Old Ben #2", etc. One day, one of his uncles (O.B.1) came to tell Vlad's son a family secret.

"Luc, V.'s your father," OB1 said. Vlad's son got all excited, "My dad is that fat CIA boss who does voice-overs for CNN? Cool!"

OB1 corrected him, "No; not Vader; Vlad. Your father is Vlad."

"Oh," a disappointed Luc said, "I should go be with my dad. But Vlad is hiding out deep inside territory controlled by Near East. How can I get there?"

"Use the outsourcing force, Luc" said OB1, "I'll teach you my Jedi Mind Tricks, but first you need to find someone soooo stupid that you can mentally manipulate them into helping you." Vlad's son did find an army that gullable: the Indian Army. The Indian Army had been extremely lucky to find itself facing certain victory. But Luc's mental tricks worked, and convinced General Patel to piss away their future in exchange for a few rupees.

General Patel carried Vlad's son first to Moscow, where Vlad's old palaces were. But they discovered Vlad wasn't there, and the palaces had been converted into camel stables, with a couple of European ranch hands cleaning up after the camels.

Next, General Patel took Vlad to Siberia where Vlad used to work at McDonalds. They didn't find Vlad amongst the Siberian community of deposed dictators, but they did find his chess-playing buddy Mohamar Ghadaffi. Ghadaffi had found work contracting for low-budget intelligence agencies (curiously, Ghadaffi's "services" include back-up-storage of customer's top-secret-data by copying that data onto public chat servers). Ghadaffi told Vlad's son that Vlad was now living at the base of Mount Everest, so that's where Patel finally took Vlad's son. It turns out that India's female sherpas are the "easiest" sluts in all the world -- perfect for Vlad.

"What went wrong?" Luc asked Vlad. Vlad explained: "You and I are just not cut out for world-domination. The game of world-domination isn't won by the way that you and I like to impose our will on others through ultimatum. Instead, the people who win are those who can form a mutually-beneficial arrangement with both sides staying loyal to that arrangement throughout time."

Meanwhile, having completed his zombie-like servatude, General Patel was surprised to find that he didn't have any country left to return to. Instead, he's now operating a chain of 7-11's and Kwiki-Marts across Asia.
22 Apr 15 UTC Spring, 2017: [Western-Canada]:That seemed kind of racist towards the end there... But overall, very creative
22 Apr 15 UTC Spring, 2017: [Libya]:Yeah creative but badly abusive.. Near east, you should know what you are talking about. Never disrespect any couintry be it Russia, India or Canada. You spoke too much this time. Disrespect upto a certain level for fun is fine. But make sure you don't cross the line or you'll find yourself into trouble someday.
22 Apr 15 UTC Spring, 2017: [Kenya]:Give me a fucking break. It's creative FICTION.

Are we not playing this game for entertainment purposes? Racist? Abusive? You guys are silly.
22 Apr 15 UTC Spring, 2017: [Kenya]:WC, you may have also been joking. Libya however lmao..
22 Apr 15 UTC Spring, 2017: [Western-Canada]:I was being lightly humorous, but I thought there should have been more fiction and less analysis
23 Apr 15 UTC Spring, 2017: [Western-Canada]:This game looks like it might take forever lol
23 Apr 15 UTC Spring, 2017: [Kenya]:No kidding (: how long have we been on?
23 Apr 15 UTC Autumn, 2017: [Brazil]:Sorry :P
You may proceed.
23 Apr 15 UTC Autumn, 2017: [Kenya]:Ok Brazil. NOT gonna fly lol
23 Apr 15 UTC Autumn, 2017: [Kenya]:that BAT bit (;
23 Apr 15 UTC Autumn, 2017: [India]:NE looks like he has some kind of flesh eating disease. Someone should take out the victim and this eyesore.
23 Apr 15 UTC Autumn, 2017: [Brazil]:Would you not have done that? :P
23 Apr 15 UTC Autumn, 2017: [Kenya]:Of course I would have haha
26 Apr 15 UTC Autumn, 2017: [Near-East]:"Winter is coming" and the white-army-walkers are on the move. Everybody needs to get south of the great Wall
28 Apr 15 UTC Autumn, 2018: [India]:Looks like someone is about to get stabbed.
28 Apr 15 UTC Autumn, 2018: [Kenya]:I doubt it. The only people capable of stabbing at this point are me and NE, and I'm failing to see where your concern is.
28 Apr 15 UTC Autumn, 2018: [South-Africa]:He talk about me of course ;D
02 May 15 UTC Spring, 2019: [Kenya]:zzzz retreat save
02 May 15 UTC Autumn, 2019: [Brazil]:I was waiting for a reply but if you want to ignore me then fine.
03 May 15 UTC Autumn, 2019: [Kenya]:sorry brazil that was my fault
07 May 15 UTC Autumn, 2020: [Western-Canada]:I would like to mention that I called NE's victory when I was under attack lol
07 May 15 UTC Autumn, 2020: [South-Africa]:Hahahaha, you're so wrong, I'll do an EPIC comeback in the game and force N-E to 3-way draw !
07 May 15 UTC Autumn, 2020: [Western-Canada]:Go for gold lol
07 May 15 UTC Autumn, 2020: [Brazil]:Mind you, this would be very different if this was WTA instead of PPSC.
09 May 15 UTC Spring, 2021: [South-Africa]:Yes, but its not
09 May 15 UTC Spring, 2021: [Western-Canada]:Troof--^
10 May 15 UTC Autumn, 2021: [Near-East]:Epilogue:

Having taken over the world, Arab conquerers attempted to capture Vlad and his half-Canadian son where they were hiding out at the base of Mount Everest. Being as diabolical as any James-Bond-villian, Vlad unleashed an earthquake and subsequent landslide that killed hundreds and enabled them to escape via helicopter to his favorite Indian whorehouse (one that was owned, operated, and serviced by General Patel's sister).

However, Vlad made a critical error. He had contracted the helicopter flight from Libyan Airlines. Instead of keeping their flight plan a secret, Libyan Airlines broadcasted the helicopter's destination to the entire world. It was an easy task for authorities to arrest Vlad and his son, who were brought to the Hague to stand trial.

The Hague, like most European societies, has a strong feminist movement. Thus, the majority of Vlad's jury pool were European women. This was fortunate for Vlad, since he had plenty of blackmail photos of his jurors in embarrassing situations. Vlad was declared innocent of all charges and is now living out his remaining days in luxurious comfort.

Vlad's son was not so lucky -- he was found guilty and sentenced to death by Frozen-Antartican Firing Squad. The Antarticans are the only people left in the world who still "shoot straight" (both ballistically and verbally). They were true to the task, and Vlad's son was shot dead.

The night before the execution, European jailors had offered Vlad's son his final meal: "You may have anything you want for your last meal. What do you want to eat?"

Being a chip off the ol' block, Vlad's son had replied, "I want to eat Taylor Swift's pussy."

United Nations Charter 92565 mandated that the European jailors actually must honor a request like that, so Miss Swift was taken away from this year's 20th TV music awards show, and flown to the Hague.

Taylor Swift was accustomed to big, dumb, burly musicians with no real future. So she discovered that Vlad's half-Canadian son was actually "her type", and more than just "eating" took place that night. As a result, in 9 1/2 months, Vlad is going to have a new granddaughter (the pregnancy would normally take only nine months, but South Africa will continuously forget to ready-up -- causing the birth to get delayed by two weeks).

Vlad has already picked out a name for his new granddaughter: "Swiftly Taylored Domination, the Sequel". Yes, that is a strange name for a girl, but it makes more sense if you see it in the original Russian, spelled with backwards capital B's and such.

As a preview, in "...the sequel", Argentina can still be heard wandering the world, crying "why won't anybody be my friend?"
11 May 15 UTC Autumn, 2021: [India]:Bye bye brazil.
11 May 15 UTC Autumn, 2021: [Libya]:Woahh.. What a description from NE.. Laughed my lungs out on that.. :'-D But how about the idea being an actual reality? Should we have another world game which is actually named Swiftly Taylored Domination-the sequel? I can bet Russia won't join lol... :-P
14 May 15 UTC Spring, 2022: [Kenya]:Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Zzzz Z.
14 May 15 UTC Spring, 2022: [Kenya]:Retreat phase save on the last turn of the game why?
15 May 15 UTC Spring, 2022: [Near-East]:Break out the Sweetwater Moose Drools to celebrate the finish. WC's buying.
15 May 15 UTC [Western-Canada]:Lol sure. Mouse Drool is a pretty good choice haha
15 May 15 UTC [Near-East]:No, you're Canadian ... "mouse" is supposed to be pronounced as in "mooose"
15 May 15 UTC [Kenya]:It's been a great game, gentle people.

As you might suspect, NE and I allied early on in the game and the strength of our alliance was too strong for any one nation to overcome. Brazil and WC, this game was in your hands prior to stabbing each other, and this end result really was only possible because of your falling out, so many thanks to the both of you.

Don't worry about buying WC, you have Albany's bills to budget. I'll pick up the tab. (;
15 May 15 UTC [Kenya]:ps, sorry I broke the chat again. *wink wink WC*
15 May 15 UTC [Kenya]:Congrats to all surviving nations, and especially to you NE. This win was well deserved.

SA, it's time for us to retire. Our fleets can maintain our parameter in our absence.

Let's head to Australia and watch Steve Irwin re-runs sipping those 'ritas you've perfected in Morocco.
16 May 15 UTC [Near-East]:(to un-break the chat, I just drag mouse over it and copy/paste to a word processor)
16 May 15 UTC [South-Africa]:GG
17 May 15 UTC [India]:I warned you all.
17 May 15 UTC [India]:I warned you all.
17 May 15 UTC [Near-East]:FrozenAntartica hit the nail on the head in an earlier public chat.
This game had key alliances between Brazil & FA, and between
Brazil & WC. Those alliances were strategically unstoppable and
they would have certainly been the final 3 surviving players, if not for the
diplomatic breakdown of those alliances.

However, the even more dramatic example of diplomatic failure
was sanfi's (India's) action. After Brazil / FA / WC imploded, they
were destined to collapse down to a complete elimination.
Although sanfi had provided Kenya & I essentially zero support
throughout the game, we had genuinely committed to carrying
sanfi along on our coat-tails, and providing sanfi with a solid
third-place finish that would have been somewhere around a
dozen SCs. The only thing sanfi had to do was to remain loyal
to the cause. Instead, sanfi foolishly chose to keep "one foot on
the other side" (a connection with WC), even at a point where it
was publically clear to everyone that WC was headed towards
elimination and couldn't have helped sanfi even if WC actually
had honest intentions of helping sanfi (which private chatting
suggested that they didn't). As a result, sanfi got the elimination
that they deserved, and the residual SCs fell to the benefit of Brazil.
17 May 15 UTC [Near-East]:So I was surprised to see sanfi with a rating in excess of 1000,
because I feel that this was an example of quite foolish play on sanfi's part.

Start Backward Open large map Forward End

Near-East
wpfieps (440 D)
Won. Bet: 20 D, won: 215 D
46 supply-centers, 38 units
Kenya
MyxIsMe (511 D)
Survived. Bet: 20 D, won: 151 D
31 supply-centers, 30 units
Brazil
cardcollector (1270 D)
Survived. Bet: 20 D, won: 39 D
8 supply-centers, 11 units
South-Africa
Siagas (736 D)
Survived. Bet: 20 D, won: 5 D
1 supply-centers, 1 units
Argentina
Defeated. Bet: 20 D
China
Ricgraz (100 D (B))
Defeated. Bet: 20 D
Europe
Defeated. Bet: 20 D
Frozen-Antarctica
Creigh (3075 D (G))
Defeated. Bet: 20 D
Ghana
Le_Amx (100 D)
Defeated. Bet: 10 D
India
sanfi (1709 D)
Defeated. Bet: 12 D
Libya
Parth (203 D)
Defeated. Bet: 20 D
Pacific-Russia
Defeated. Bet: 18 D
Quebec
Cesarz (100 D)
Defeated. Bet: 20 D
Russia
Albion (100 D)
Defeated. Bet: 16 D
USA
jblue22 (100 D)
Defeated. Bet: 20 D
Western-Canada
tedwmoeller (620 D)
Defeated. Bet: 20 D
Oz
Defeated. Bet: 13 D
Civil Disorders
StonedRaider (100 D)Oz (Spring, 2001) with 5 centres.
Ricgraz (100 D (B))China (Spring, 2003) with 1 centres.
Jeans (100 D)Russia (Spring, 2003) with 6 centres.
elJabal_elAkhdar (100 D)Pacific-Russia (Spring, 2003) with 7 centres.
TylerGrier (100 D)Ghana (Spring, 2001) with 4 centres.
jblue22 (100 D)USA (Spring, 2005) with 1 centres.
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