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Finished: 09 PM Thu 27 Feb 14 UTC
Private GSPIA
7 days /phase
Pot: 35 D - Autumn, 1914, Finished
Classic, Anonymous players, Survivors-Win Scoring
1 excused missed turn
Game won by arcanazar (189 D)
16 May 13 UTC Spring, 1901: Glad we got this started! Good game, everyone!
16 May 13 UTC Spring, 1901: Good game!
17 May 13 UTC Spring, 1901: All the best :)
20 May 13 UTC Spring, 1901: Has anyone heard from France or Austria?
20 May 13 UTC Spring, 1901: Nope.
22 May 13 UTC Spring, 1901: I'm sorry everyone, I've been procrastinating on making a move because I don't quite understand how diplomacy works. I'm slowly figuring it out though.
22 May 13 UTC Spring, 1901: No worries. Also, to those who have "saved" their moves but haven't clicked "ready", I'm not sure that the game will execute your orders unless you click "ready". Just so you know.
24 May 13 UTC Autumn, 1901: Dear Great Powers of Europe and West Asia,

The Tsar of Russia publicly rebukes the diplomatic assault by Germany. In the last year, Russia has received hostile communications from Germany in an attempt to subvert Russian interests and play Austria and Russia against each other. German diplomatic tactics have included attempting to force re-negotiation of previous pacts with knowledge that Austria supported Germany. These tactics reneged on signed treaties.

Most recently, a suspicious communication was received that lead to action of the Russian military in Prussia. Upon reviewing the troop movements it was found that Germany had, in fact, moved troops away from the Russian border. Russian officials immediately released an apology which was rejected by the Germans. The Germans had previously admitted to working with the Austrians in order to deter Russia.

In light of Germany's aggressive and dangerous actions, Russia has no choice but to take defensive measures. As of now, Russia declares war on Germany. Any nations aiding Russia in our righteous cause will share in the spoils of war. Lands taken by allied countries will be left in the control of those countries, including supply centres. Effective immediately, Russia declares Berlin to be a part of the Russian empire.

During this troubling time, Russia will not take any hostile action against a nation that aids against Germany or honours existing non-aggression treaties. Any nation taking up arms to support Germany will share it its fate.

- Russia
24 May 13 UTC Autumn, 1901: People of Europe,
Where others spread half-truths, Germany holds fast to honesty. And in that interest, following this message I will be releasing the complete diplomatic transcripts between myself and Russia, and myself and Austria. Decide for yourselves if Germany has acted in such a way as to deserve invasion, and judge for yourselves who is to be trusted.

My neighbour to the east has misconstrued German diplomatic efforts and the history of relations between the German and Russian people.

We had agreed to a pact of non-aggression and granted Sweden to Russia. Russia speaks of broken pacts, and yet it is Russian armies that now pillage Prussia. Germany, for its part, did not move towards Russia even after receiving communications from Austria that the Russian Bear had turned its hungry eye toward the German people.

Since Germany had not heard from Austria after seeking friendship, Germany had initially supported a Russian campaign south towards Austria. However, after hearing assurances of friendship from Austria, Germany tried to divert the war that they had supported. Germany sought to keep Russia from invading Germany’s friend and ally. We did not seek to mislead Russia to create weakness, as Russia suspected. Rather, Germany sought the benefit of both its supposed allies. Russia could continue to have Sweden so long as peace was maintained between Russia and Austria. Germany in fact apologized for the miscommunication and renewed their stance of friendship.

Russia also claims that Germany rejected their apology. This is false. Germany cordially responded to the occupying army. In the interests of the safety of the German people of Prussia and the greater European peace, Germany asked for the withdrawal of troops and a public apology to secure Germany’s friendship. Russia did not respond and Germany sought more trustworthy allies. Russia then responds with half-truths and a public declaration of war.

Where Germany has been trusting, Russia has been suspicious. Where Germany has been open to reconciliation, Russia seeks more violence. People of Europe, the German people submit themselves to your judgement.
24 May 13 UTC Autumn, 1901: Diplomatic Transcripts - Germany and Russia

R: Thu 16 May Spring, 1901: Greetings Germany,

A non-aggression pact between our two countries could be extremely beneficial for both of us. I expect that most of my attention will be focused on the South-East.

I propose a non-aggression pact, and an understanding that Sweden belongs to Russia.

- Russia
R: Thu 16 May Spring, 1901: What are your feelings towards Austria?

G: Fri 17 May Spring, 1901: Sounds good. As for Austria I think that it is best for us both if they are contained. What have they told you of their plans?

R: Sat 18 May Spring, 1901: I have yet to receive diplomatic communication from Austria. I suspect that they are purposefully keeping quiet.

G: Sat 18 May Spring, 1901: It might be possible that they just haven't communicated with anyone. They haven't confirmed moves, so maybe they haven't been active?
G: Sat 18 May Spring, 1901: If we still haven't heard from Austria closer to the deadline, will your warsaw army be available for some support or to apply a little pressure? Will you be moving it into Galicia or Ukraine this turn to support your expansion south?

R: Sat 18 May Spring, 1901: Warsaw can be available for support South. Currently Warsaw is holding to await support from Moscow.
R: Sat 18 May Spring, 1901: * for supporting the South.

G: Sat 18 May Spring, 1901: So warsaw is waiting for support from Moscow? I'm not sure I understand. Is Moscow moving south to ukraine, or is it just supporting moscow this turn? I would think that moving warsaw to galicia and moscow to ukraine would still allow for them to support each other for the next move and create a stronger position for you. Just holding warsaw would be very defensive. But maybe I'm misunderstanding your plan.

R: Sun 19 May Spring, 1901: I don't expect to take Galicia in the first turn since Vienna will likely be protecting the north.

G: Mon 02 PM Spring, 1901: I guess it depends a lot on where in the north they try to protect and what their plans are. If they are trying to secure some of the balkans they may move budapest -> serbia, trieste to albania and vienna to budapest. This also depends on their relations with italy. Of course if they are feeling more aggressive they might move more north, but I think that they won't because the supply centres to the south are much easier to gain.
G: Mon 02 PM Spring, 1901: So where would warsaw be moving to, exactly? Do you mean to move it to Galicia, but don't expect to take it, or that you'll be moving it somewhere else?

R: Mon 03 PM Spring, 1901: I expect that I'm moving Warsaw to Galicia but one of Budapest or Vienna will stop me.

G: Mon 07 PM Spring, 1901: Okay. Hopefully Austria will be too interested in gains to the south to block. Either way, they also sort of waste a move by keeping you out, since that unit couldn't be put to more productive uses instead.

R: Tue 11 AM Spring, 1901: Yes, I think that Austria may not actually be in the game, really. It is in our best interests to take as much of their territory as possible. I have agreements in place to keep Budapest.

R: If France is also not responding, you may be able to take Paris within a couple of turns. I assume that you're taking Holland as soon as you can, as well.

G: Wed 10 AM Spring, 1901: Hi Russia, I'm starting to think that it might be best if you move from Warsaw into Ukraine instead of Galicia. I can guarantee you Sweden, but only if you don't move into Galicia.

R: Wed 12 PM Spring, 1901: That sounds suspicious. Why would I move all of my troops away from my northern border?

G: Spring, 1901: Sorry, Austria was wanting me to use that leverage in order to secure their peaceful relations. I thought that Warsaw to UIkraine still allowed you a strong stance in the Balkans. I had thought that you would be moving generally south to make gains in the balkans and protect against turkey (sevastopal to black sea, moscow to sevastopol) and I thought that moving warsaw to ukraine would be a way to secure rumania without unnecessarily irritating Austria so early.

But I understand that that could also leave you vulnerable. Anyway, I did not mean to strain our relations and I can again promise Sweden for only non-aggression.

R: Wed 10 PM Hi Germany, I now see that you were not secretly trying to take me over. I wish to express my regrets for taking Prussia and not trusting you. I hope that this will not sour our relationship in the future.

G: Thu 11 AM Hi Russia, I appreciate your apology, but I'm not sure how I can trust you now. I would need some kind of sign that you mean what you say. If you truly regret your actions and value my friendship, an apology in the Global forum followed by a withdrawal of your troops from my territory would go a long way to earning back my trust.
24 May 13 UTC Autumn, 1901: Diplomatic Transcripts - Germany and Austria
G: Wed 15 May Spring, 1901: Austria, my fellow Germanic people! I just wanted to establish a non-aggression pact between our countries so that we can focus on the more dangerous threats that surround us. Hopefully you'll get a good share of the Balkans and then once we've gotten some of the unoccupied supply centres near us we can figure out how to help each other more. Let me know what you're thinking and maybe I could also chat with some of the other countries to misdirect them and help you secure the supply centres to your south.

A: Tue 02 PM Spring, 1901: Definitely! You seem to be in a most precarious geographic position! Those meddlesome French are just going to try and reclaim their former glory as they so often do. Fear not! Your southern border is safe

G: Tue 10 PM Spring, 1901: I am very thankful to hear from you Austria, and glad you agree to my proposal. You may want to watch out. I think some of the countries around you may have taken you for an easy target since your armies seemed not to be mobilized. How are your relations with Italy and Russia?

A: Tue 09 PM Spring, 1901: Russia certainly has some interesting ideas about carving you to bits...

G: Wed 09 AM Spring, 1901: That's funny, (s)he's been saying the same about you :) I think we probably gain more from keeping each other alive than from allowing Russia to become strong. Hopefully (s)he doesn't stab either of us too early.

G: Wed 09 AM Spring, 1901: I have a little leverage with Russia by possibly being able to block entry into Sweden. Would you like me to get assurances that they not enter either of our territory?

A: Wed 02 PM Spring, 1901: That would likely be helpful.... Friendly advice... watch Silesia.
26 May 13 UTC Autumn, 1901: Germany,

Thank you for posting this! I can vouch that the communication with Russia is accurate. I believe that this conversation clearly indicates that you were working with Austria against Russian interests.

I have not given up hope that we can peacefully work out this situation, but I still require Berlin as payment.
26 May 13 UTC Autumn, 1901: Attention! The Kingdom of Italy is now hiring! Positions available include: interns, to write briefing notes summarizing the outbreaking situation between Russia and Germany. Other tasks include ensuring the steady supply of wine and women for His Greatness, the King of Italy.
30 May 13 UTC Autumn, 1901: The popular Italian world news periodical, "The Economist, Italian Edition" (no actual affiliation with "The Economist") has released its Autumn 1901 edition. Top stories:

-"Italian Parliament condemns Austrian invasion of Greece": Italy's government reacted with outrage as they learned of Austria's illegal occupation of Greece. According to one MP, "Austria has no place in Greece! If anything, Greece is the territory of Italy by historical rights!" This view is very popular among many Italians who recall how the Ancient Roman Empire liberated the poor, innocent, starving Greek people from their democratic oppressors and restored order by establishing the leadership the Greek people needed. In response to this unprecedented attack, the Italian army launched a counterattack and now occupy the Austrian territory of Trieste, the first stage of Italy's "Operation Vienna Freedom". This Operation is being carried out with support from the King's Bastards (the finest spec ops in Italy and Europe), Italian Intelligence and the Air Force. His Greatness, the King of Italy called upon the international community to join Italy in taking swift humanitarian action, and enacting sanctions on Austria until this "Greek crisis in the zone of Europe" is resolved. His Magnificent Patriarchy extended invitations to state leaders and delegations of all European countries to join him in the Italian Royal Palace to discuss the situation over food, wine, and the company of women.

-"Italian Navy responds to distress calls as massive Tsunami hits Tunis": Following what many Italians are now calling the "Tuni-Tsuni", the Italian Navy has been actively involved in search-and-rescue operations and distributing aid and wine to victims of this terrible natural disaster. The government of Tunis has expressed its gratitude, inviting the Italian Navy to remain in the country for as long as necessary to restore Tunis to its previous state.

Editorial from Italy's national news provider, "The Sun Star":
-"Actually, public harems DO benefit society": I've had it with these liberal hacks who think that abolishing the harem industry in Italy will somehow be a good thing. Their arguments are completely self-contradictory. The same people criticizing His Mightyness of misogyny fail to recognize that an important part of the "Harems, Harems Everywhere!" Bill was to provide young women with the financial resources they need to pay for the unreasonably high Italian university tuition rates. They claim that these harems ruin our reputation in Europe, but conveniently ignore the revenue they generate from European tourists. It's the same people who criticize every decision His Gloriousness makes and then criticize Him when he disappears for days on end. You would think they'd be grateful for his absence in Parliament! And guess where he goes when he disappears... If you guessed "the harem", BINGO! The only real argument against the HHE Bill is economical, that the establishment of 50 new harems in 12 days could cause a supply shock to the harem market. But even then, that's an economic argument, not a social argument. Look folks, it's a tough world out there, and if you oversensitive, DEMOCRATIC pansies are so scared of having your daughters end up in a harem, well get up off the couch, get yourselves a job, and most importantly, get yourselves off of the welfare payments you get from the taxes of hard-working Italians. It's because of leeches like you draining this economy that we need these harems in the first place!
09 Jun 13 UTC Autumn, 1902: Top story from the Autumn 1902 edition of "The Economist, Italian Edition":

"Italy praises and congratulates Turkey for their liberation of Greece": In a public statement today, his Mighty Patriarchy, the King of Italy, gave thanks and praise for Turkish military forces for liberating Greece from the Austrian occupation which began almost a year ago. Italy called on the international community to take action, and Turkey answered this call. Political commentator Murphyus Rex noted that "the King made this public statement completely sober, fully clothed, and in the absence of harlots. The rarity of these conditions for public announcements by the King marks the sincerity of his praise for the Turkish government." The King announced that Italy will send diplomats to Turkey to discuss the peaceful repatriation of Greek territory to Italy (a goal as old as the Roman Empire). The King also publicly invited the Sultan of the Ottoman Empire to join him for some R&R on one of Italy's most famous and beautiful tourist attractions, Whore Island, which sits off the coast of Naples between the Tyrrhenian and Ionian Seas. Furthermore, the King has promised free tuition for one year for all female Turkish students studying at Italian universities. Male Turkish students studying in Turkey will receive one year of free admission to all Italian public harems, by presenting their student cards and travel visas upon admission.

Top stories from the Autumn 1902 edition of Italy's national newspaper, "The Sun Star":

"Parliament and lobby groups unanimously agree on amendment to the "Harems, Harems Everywhere!" Bill": Today, Parliament granted unanimous support to an amendment to the HHE Bill being backed by feminist lobby groups and IUPE 69, the Italian union of public employees that covers harlots and consorts. The amendment calls for stricter regulations on the cleanliness of public harems. This unanimous support for the amendment marks a rare occurrence in which Parliament and left-wing women's groups actually have such strong agreement on a particular issue. In regards to this, the Minister for Social Affairs, Bev Oddissimmo, remarked that "this amendment benefits everyone. No one wants to be employed by a filthy harem, and consumers want to ensure the quality of the services they receive." The Bill is set to come into force by the end of the working day, well before most MP's have to leave the office.

"Italian democratic system criticized as Presidential nominations approach": Demonstrations calling for democratic reform to Italy followed yesterday's announcements of the upcoming nominations for Presidential candidates. The Presidential election is set to take place in Autumn, 1904. As it stands, the government of Italy is structured as a Royal Democratic Republic. It is Royal in the sense that the head of state is ultimately our glorious ruler, the immortal King, whose spirit has passed through to the bodies of his sons and grandsons over hundreds of generations, as everyone knows. It is democratic in the sense that the people vote for elected officials to represent them in Parliament who themselves choose a Prime Minister from among their ranks. Finally, Italy is a Republic in the sense that it is led by a President, who acts as Italy's head of state, a measure to ensure the formal separation between the King's authority and the power of the people. Criticisms of Italian democratic governance include the fact that, although the Constitution states that the role of Parliament and the President are to replace the King's authority with that of the people, in convention, the King is the active ruler of Italy. Further criticisms include the fact that there is only one political party in Italy to choose from: the People's Secular Patriarchal Neo-Conservative Party. In light of the upcoming Presidential candidate nominations, the specific focus of these demonstrations is on the fact that Presidential candidates are chosen exclusively from a pool of the King's offspring. This selection process has only been amended once; it allowed for the pool of Presidential candidates to include the King's illegitimate offspring as well as those born of the Queen. It increased the size of the pool of Presidential candidates by almost 400%. The law is unlikely to change, however, demonstrations continue. Police responded to the first wave of protests by arriving on scene with wine and harlots, telling protestors, "Next time, we come back with tasers and pepper spray." Over four fifths of the initial protestors left with their gifts, and have not returned to continue demonstrating.
19 Jun 13 UTC Spring, 1903: Spring 1903 Edition of "The Economist: Italian Edition": Top Stories:

"Negotiations over Greece Stagnate": Diplomats of The Italian Kingdom and the Turkish Empire have reached a standstill in the negotiations over the return of Greece to Italy. The Italian Kingdom, while appreciating Turkey liberating Greece from Austria, feels strongly that it has a historical claim to the land. So far, in exchange for the territory of Greece, Turkey has demanded a much larger portion of former Austria than would be part of a fair deal. Russia has previously informed the Italian government that it would recognize the legitimacy of Italian claims to any Austrian territory captured by Italy, but has so far remained silent in this affair. The Foreign Affairs Minister for the Kingdom of Italy, John Bairdissimmo, has expressed optimism that Italy will be able to reach a fair deal with Turkey that will be mutually beneficial to both great nations.

"Tunis 1 year later: Impact of the Tuni-Tsuni": A year ago today, Tunis was hit with a deadly tsunami that, if not for the swift reaction of the Italian navy, would have cost Tunis far more lives than it did. The rescue of victims during the tsunami and the subsequent aid delivered once the tsunami ended was instrumental in the rescue of the country's citizens and the redevelopment of its infrastructure. It was several months before life returned to normal in Tunis, and even today, its effects can still be felt. "I lost my entire family," recalls one Tunisian, "But I am so grateful to the Italian Navy for the excellent wine they delivered, now it is the only thing that gives me joy." Another Tunisian remembers how his entire business was crippled by the tsunami, and how the Italian government helped him through his difficult time: "When the tsunami hit, I was sure my brothel was done for. But! The financial aid that the Italian government gave to help rebuild our infrastructure means that one day my business will be back in order! In the meantime, I have even been hired as a temporary manager for an Italian public harem on Whore Island, thanks to Italy's program for temporary work for unemployed Tuni-Tsuni victims! My girls have even qualified for free tuition at fine Italian universities, in exchange only for free services at the very same public harem!" To this day, Italian flags fly over many parts of Tunis, as remembrance for the aid delivered to them in their time of need, and also because of the hefty fine that is levied on them if they do not fly flags over what few buildings they have left.

Top Story from the Spring 1903 edition of the Sun Star:

"Justin Trudissimmo selected as new Presidential candidate for Autumn 1904 Elections": Justin Trudissimmo, the illegitimate son of our glorious immortal King, has been selected by the King himself to represent the people of Italy as the only presidential candidate for the upcoming presidential elections in Autumn 1904. The decision has been widely criticized by traditionalists, who believe that he would never have been selected had it not been for recent reforms to the selection process, allowing for the King's illegitimate sons to run for President as well as the King's sons born in wedlock. Despite a lack of clear policy initiatives, Trudissimmo demonstrates excellent dance skills and hair, which most Italian political analysts believe would help him win the election even if there were other candidates running.
20 Jun 13 UTC Spring, 1903: Proclamation by the Tsar of Russia,

Dear peoples of Russia and citizens of Europe: these are dark days filled with anger, fear and spite. As you all know, the English fleet has despoiled the Great City of St. Petersburg. Millions fled in terror as the English guns cut down men, women and children where they stood. Despair engulfed the city as barbaric English soldiers took the defenseless city by force.

Immediately following this tragedy, the English claimed that the invasion was due to a communication error between the High Command and the commander overseeing operations of the fleet. However, after making promises of the return of St. Petersburg to Russia and other reconciliatory gestures, the English have broken off communication. The last diplomat dispatched from Moscow to London was turned away at the English border.

It is with deep regret that Russia has no choice but to declare war on England. These trespasses will be dealt with via the full force of the Russian armed forces.
22 Jun 13 UTC Spring, 1903: (Message to everyone, including you Russia, from the human playing England) I just want to say that if some of you were muted by england, it is simply because I must have put my phone in my pocket without locking it. It's as stupid as that.
22 Jun 13 UTC Spring, 1903: You in England have such little phones! No Italian phone can fit in ones' pocket. In fact, larger phones are symbols are higher status! This here is the King's phone!
22 Jun 13 UTC Spring, 1903: Haha, the King of England would be forever grateful if the great kingdom of Italy could share this incredibly futuristic technology. Hence preventing further misunderstandings!
25 Jun 13 UTC Spring, 1903: An open lettre to England and Europe.

Russia would like to indicate that our communications have been blocked by England. Any attempts to communicate have been met with a response that we have been muted. If this is intentional, then England has refused to cooperate in good faith with the Russian people. If this is unintentional, then there is only a precious little time left.
27 Jun 13 UTC Autumn, 1903: If Hitler were Russian and this game was in 1945, this would be the Czar's reaction to England and Turkey:
06 Jul 13 UTC Autumn, 1903: If Hitler were Russian and Mussolini were Turkish, this would be their reaction after last round:
08 Jul 13 UTC Autumn, 1903: If Italy were Chris Tucker and Turkey was the female ninja assassin from Rush Hour 2:
11 Jul 13 UTC Autumn, 1903: Dear Great Powers of Europe,
The Mouthpiece of the People's Republic of France will be travelling the world next week, and will be far too busy enjoying the foodstuffs of various exotic countries to even entertain thoughts of war.

In the spirit of ensuring full participation by all powers for the upcoming turn, will those countries who have not yet readied their move, do so.
Highest Regards to All.
19 Jul 13 UTC Spring, 1904: Spring 1904 Edition of "The Economist: Italian Edition" Top Story:

BETRAYAL IN BUDAPEST: Efforts to negotiate the return of Greece to Italy have been deeply twarted by Turkey's unprecedented invasion of Budapest, and failed attempt to take Trieste, both Italian territory. The Italian government is deeply shocked by this move, which many are calling the worst betrayal to ever take place since the Red Wedding!!! Efforts are underway to negotiate peace with Turkey, but until this
can be reached, the Kingdom of Italy is urging the international community to take action against this most treacherous villain, the Sultan of Turkey.

In other news, the Italian gov't has repealed a grant of free harem services to Turkish students studying in Italy, a favour granted in light of Turkey's supposed liberation of Greece done on Italy's behalf. Furthermore, the Italian gov't has retroactively billed these students for the services they ordered at these harems, and has imprisoned all those students who have been unable to pay. These arrests have been justified under sections of the Harems Harems Everywhere Bill which guarantee certain financial protections for harem workers.

Furthermore, the President of Tunis, a country that Italy nobly saved from a tsunami only years ago, has made a public statement against Turkey, calling it, "... pretty much the worst country that has ever existed."
23 Jul 13 UTC Autumn, 1904: Top story from the Autumn 1904 Edition of the Sun Star:

"Justin Trudissimmo disappears, no where to be found!": The top candidate and only candidate for the upcoming elections for the Italian President has gone missing, and no one has any clue as to where he may have gone. Justin Trudissimmo, the illegitimate offspring of the King of Italy, was set to win by a landslide victory. Now, it seems that there is no one eligible to take his place in the race, and this has many quite worried. People have speculated that perhaps the reason for his disappearance may have something to do with the turning of the tide on the Eastern Front in the war against Turkey. Police have been searching for the candidate for weeks, but are on the verge of giving up the search, since they have nearly exhausted all of their leads. "We have double checked, even triple checked, almost every harem in Italy! If we don't find him there, well, I just don't know where he'll be" said the Italian Chief of Police in an interview yesterday. No one is sure yet what will be done about the upcoming elections if he cannot be found.
28 Jul 13 UTC Autumn, 1904: People of Europe, strangers from distant lands, friends of old. I summon you to answer the threat of Moscow (and Turkey). Europe stands on the brink of destruction. None can escape it. You will unite or you will fall. All of us are bound to this fate - this one doom.
We Germans never had much hope, but if we are marked to die, we are enough to do our country loss; and if to live, the fewer men, the greater share of honour.

Any which hath no stomach to this fight, let him depart; his passport shall be made, And Euros for convoy put into his purse. We would not die in that person’s company that fears his fellowship to die with us.

This day is called Saint Pantaleon’s Day. He that outlives this day, and comes safe home, Will stand a tip-toe when this day is named, and rouse themself this time each year. They that shall live this day, and see old age, will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours, And say “Tomorrow is Saint Pantaleon’s Day.”

Then will they strip their sleeve and show their scars, and say “These wounds I had Pantaleon’s day.”

Old men forget; yet all shall be forgot, But we’ll remember, with advantages, what feats we did that day. Then shall our names, familiar in all mouths as household words- England the Pink, Deutchland and Italy, Burgundy and Gascony, Paris and Breast - be in their flowing cups freshly rememb’red.

This story shall the good man teach his son; And Pantaleon’s Day shall ne’er go by, from this day to the ending of the world, But we in it shall be remembered- We few, we happy few, we band of siblings; For (s)he to-day that sheds his blood with me Shall be my sibling; be they ne’er so vile, This day shall gentle their condition; And those in API now-a-bed Shall think themselves accurs’d they were not here, And hold their summers cheap whiles any speaks That fought with us upon Saint Pantaleon’s day.
08 Aug 13 UTC Spring, 1905: Hi everyone,

Speaking as not-Russia, I hope that everyone is having a good time. I was just looking at the game options for another game and I found that there are other maps that we can play on!

There is a North American map that we can play on, but it requires 10 players. How many people would be interested? The maps can be seen here:
09 Aug 13 UTC Autumn, 1905: A North America Map sounds great! I know that Chaity wanted to play as well, but that was after we had already started this game. We could take it back to the fb page?
12 Aug 13 UTC Autumn, 1905: Top story from the Autumn 1905 edition of "The Economist: Italy Edition":

Turkish invasion of Tunis screws over peaceful, innocent population": This year's illegal and immoral invasion of Tunis by the Turkish navy has undermined years of effort and hard work of the Italian government into rebuilding the country following the Tuni-tsuni several years ago. The treacherous Turkish government has continued to demonstrate its lack of respect for human rights with its occupations of territories that the Italian Kingdom only means to help. It is clear that the international community has no hope for a bright future should Turkey continue to gain power.

Top story from "The Sun Star": Italian King declares Marshall law.

In response to the disappearance of Justin Trudissimmo, last year's elections were unable to take place. That, coupled with the negative military performance in the East against the Turkish army, has led the King to declare Marshall Law, with the military and all state institutions falling under direct control of his Royal Manliness. Commentators have noted that this is a move that has no legal or constitutional precedence at all whatsoever. Basically, it is only allowed to happened because it isn't not allowed to happen. Until the only Presidential candidate we have can be found, it is unclear that future elections will ever even take place at all!
17 Aug 13 UTC Autumn, 1905: Venice is taken, and all Italy shall soon see their glorious liberation under the Grand Leader of Turkey, Our Benevolent Sultan.

In his all encompassing love for his adopted children, the Italian people, Our Omnipotent Father, the Sultan, has ruled that he will lead his new citizens, through an honoured Vassal, whom he is certain, in his boundless wisdom, will lead with a power and love that is near to his own.

That is why, it is our Lord Sultan's great pleasure to announce the installation of Vassal Justin Trudissimmo, who shall rule this new piece of the Turkish Empire, NEW CONSTANTINOPLE (formerly Italy). At his side, through which her father, Our Renowned Sultan, shall rule vicariously, stands the Princess Sophienna Sultana. All of the Turkish Empire rejoices in this new union, and the many years of serenity it will bring.

All Turks shall drink of milk and honey tonight. Long live Our Benevolent Sultan! Long live Princess Sophienna and Prince Justin! May they rule evermore in peace, and may there be many royal babies to come!
20 Aug 13 UTC Autumn, 1905: Top stories from the Autumn 1905 edition of "The Economist: Italian Edition":

"King of Italy literally dies of broken heart; revived by own rage": Police have now ended a search for missing Presidential candidate, Justin Trudissimmo, who has been found alive and well in Turkey. Earlier, the Turkish government announced Trudissimmo's intention to betray his own government, and rule over Italy as a Turkish vassal following the defeat of Italian forces. All across Italy, news of Justin Trudissimmo's betrayal of his former country and marriage to a Turkish Princess (whom many are now calling "The Turkish Tart") has been met with passionate angst. However, no reaction has been more dramatic than that of his own father. His Manliness remains in critical condition after literally dying of a broken heart due to his son's betrayal. Doctors report that soon after his death, however, the King was revived by the sheer power of his own rage, again due to his son's betrayal. Such a case has never before been seen in Italy. The King's death took place in his palace, and he was able to call an ambulance shortly after his revival. There were no witnesses to the event, but doctors are calling the King's testimony and available forensic evidence "totally legit".

"Italy crumbles:" With the capture of Venice, Italian infrastructure and society break down as Turkish forces move South towards remaining Italian cities. Chaos is all over the streets, as civilians take shelter in the several harems that remain unharmed despite the ridiculous violence taking place. It is worth noting that, at the very least, Turkish armed forces have treated Italian harems particularly well. Regardless, outside these peaceful safe havens are streets of chaos. Several non-state factions have joined up with Turkish forces to further their own cause in the formerly secular and patriarchal state of Italy. Terrorist groups such as al-Qaeda and Femen have been rumoured to be seen fighting together alongside Turkish forces, no doubt with the intention of establishing their own radical, Muslim-Feminist dystopias in the absence of a more rational, stable Italian government.
10 Sep 13 UTC Autumn, 1906: Top story from the "Sun Star", Autumn 1906 edition:

"Morale high as King's Bastards hold Rome and Naples": Despite earlier failures in the war with Turkey, Italian forces have continued to hold the last two remaining strongholds much longer than expected. This is largely due to the work of the elite Italian Special Forces Unit known as the "King's Bastards". The historical roots of this unit trace back to the first liberation of Greece from the Persians. This liberation took place shortly after Persia conquered Greece following the events depicted in the play "300", an Italian play that tells the tale of the 300 Spartans who died fighting for their country. The Italian King, knowing he'd be outnumbered by the sheer size of the Persian army, began a massive "recruitment" campaign, forming an enormous army of his own offspring. After much patience and diligence, within 8 years the King had an army large enough to push back the Persian forces (with the support of adult soldiers) and liberate Greece to its former glory. Today, the King's Bastards are no longer made up solely of the King's offspring. However, their fighting skills are clearly seen in their ability to hold what remains of the Italian state.
29 Sep 13 UTC Autumn, 1907: Hey you guys, since England doesn't have internet access, can we vote to pause or draw this game? If he had internet access we'd be able to put up a good fight, but since he doesn't, we can't really play a good game at this point.
29 Sep 13 UTC Autumn, 1907: Personally, I am in full agreement of a draw, mainly for the sake of my poor rival, Turkey, who must be deeply embarrassed by my continued repellence of its attacks on my remaining territory.
03 Oct 13 UTC Autumn, 1907: ok, I am back now and should be able to at least make my moves on time
23 Oct 13 UTC Spring, 1909: Top story from the Sun Star:

"Morale plummets as Turks capture Whore Island":

Italian strongholds Rome and Naples have finally fallen to the Turks. Italian forces put up a damn good fight for a damn long while, but were finally overridden. Although many take comfort knowing that their comrades died well, the news of the Turkish capture of Whore Island has left the national morale completely devastated. Once a symbol of the country's greatest values (patriarchy and lack of religion), our loss of this paradise has left many to face the fact that our very national existence stands on the brink. Even worse, the Turks have since used this place of peace as a staging ground for its naval assault on the Tunis, which Italy helped to rebuild following the Tuni-tsuni several years ago. The Turkish invasion has done much to reverse the redevelopment of their economic and basic infrastructure, and the President of Tunis has condemned the attacks.

The King Italy, last seen on Whore Island, has since gone missing. No one is aware of his location, however, it is rumoured that he was last seen in Marseilles, disguised as a Gypsy.
30 Oct 13 UTC Autumn, 1909: BREAKING NEWS!!!

Italian Surprise Counter-Attack retakes Naples, Whore Island; drives Turkish Forces into Ionian Sea:

In what can only be described as the underdog battle of the Century, Italian forces launched a surprise counterattack that drove the occupying Turkish forces back into into Ionian Sea. During their retreat, Turkish forces had to abandon Whore Island, which they'd captured months before. This battle has been a great show of symbolic defiance at the Turkish tyranny of the great Patriarchal Kingdom of Italy. Hope has been restored among the people!
07 Nov 13 UTC Autumn, 1909: Well, good game, you guys! I suppose, in a way, Patriarchal Monarchist Dictatorships with puppet Parliaments were never the right way to go. It'll be interesting to see how it turns out, though!

Start Backward Open large map Forward End

arcanazar (189 D)
Won. Bet: 5 D, won: 35 D
19 supply-centers, 14 units
sjscott (0 D X)
Resigned. Bet: 5 D
14 supply-centers, 16 units
mahatma_phil (100 D)
Resigned. Bet: 5 D
1 supply-centers, 1 units
Niatra (100 D)
Resigned. Bet: 5 D
0 supply-centers, 1 units
Defeated. Bet: 5 D
Crusoe (823 D)
Defeated. Bet: 5 D
Kevin89 (100 D)
Defeated. Bet: 5 D
Civil Disorders
sjscott (0 D X)Turkey (Autumn, 1914) with 14 centres.
Niatra (100 D)France (Autumn, 1911) with 4 centres.
mahatma_phil (100 D)England (Autumn, 1911) with 6 centres.
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